Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I really don’t want to do this but it would make DH happy. WWYD?

86 replies

Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 17:40

Last night I mentioned, just as part of a much longer conversation, that my friend was going to see Genesis in concert.
My husband got up this morning and decided he really wants to go.
I said no problem, go with your mate or on your own. But he only wants to go with me.
Reasons I don't want to go include…..

I don’t like Genesis. I couldn't name one song of theirs. I would recognise them if you told me though.

The venues we could pick from are an hours drive from us. I either rush to get there after work, or go on my day off and get around 5 hours sleep before going to work the next day.

I hate, hate, hate being in a crowd of people. Being in a building with thousands of other people would be my worst nightmare.

The arenas I have been to previously have seemed very steep, in terms of steps. I am just getting over a serious leg injury and am worried about not being given enough time/ space to go slowly up and down stairs in a crowd.

The tickets are £150 each. We can afford it, but like I said, I don’t like the music anyway.

DH wouldn’t even have thought about going if I hadn’t mentioned it!

So, do I suck it up and go to make him happy?

Oh and 80% of the excuses above are the reasons what I have not been to see Queen whose music I love.

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 26/09/2021 17:44

Does he, has he or would he go to a concert you wanted to go to that he didn't like the band?

Your answer is your answer

Shamoo · 26/09/2021 17:47

I personally think that the only ones of the reasons you’ve listed that really means you shouldn’t go are your injury and your fear of lots of people. Only you know how bad these things are and whether they justify you not going.

Not liking the music isn’t a good enough reason I don’t think (I’ve been to concerts I don’t like for my OH). An hour from home is nothing. You can afford it.

sunshinesupermum · 26/09/2021 17:51

My other half goes to gigs without me if it's a band I don't like. At £150 a ticket it would be a waste of money even if you can afford it. He's BU.

colouringindoors · 26/09/2021 17:51

I wouldn't go either tbh! You have zero interest in the music and it's £150 which even if you can afford it, is a fair bit to pay for something you don't want to do!

If he won't go with his mate then is he really that desparate to go?

BrilloPaddy · 26/09/2021 18:02

DH happily comes along to concerts with me, so I'd normally return the favour. But I don't usually enjoy ageing bands or artists..... we paid £120 each to see Elton John and we walked out halfway as it was so bad. Even autotune couldn't save him and he kept throwing a hissy at the stage hands. It wasn't pleasant.

I'm now praying that DH doesn't see anything advertised as he loves Genesis too Hmm

Bluntness100 · 26/09/2021 18:05

God I’ll go with him, I didn’t realise they were playing and just looked it up and they are playing the o2 on the 11th Oct. my husband is saying no way 😂

We saw Phil Collins in Hyde park three or four years ago and honestly he was fantastic.

Maybe you can say which venue you’re looking at? The o2 for example does have lots of walking and steps.

Crikeyalmighty · 26/09/2021 18:08

I know the band very well indeed - at that price let your husband go on his own— he will love it, it will be their last ever tour as Phil isn’t in the best of health- not for strenuous tours anyway. I don’t think you should go to things you have no interest in at that price— or can he find a mate who would also really like to go ?

Mooster62 · 26/09/2021 18:09

I wouldn't go, I hate crowds too. Just say no. If he wants to go - fabulous - but not with you!

beachyhead · 26/09/2021 18:11

God, I want to go too!
Happy to go with your dh or Bluntness Smile

Original poster
Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 18:16

Venues choice is Leeds or Liverpool.

Leeds would be this Thursday night which means I get very little time in bed before having to get up for work on Friday.
Liverpool is next week and it would be a rush to get there after work, but I wouldn’t have to work the day after.

Leg injury is 90% healed. 6 months of physio and it’s still painful walking downstairs, so I need a bannister and plenty of time.

No, he wouldn’t come to a concert with me if he didn’t like the music. I wanted to see a particular band and he said no. No problem, I arranged to go with a friend. I am happy to do things along or with friends if I know he wouldn’t enjoy them. He does too usually, but for some reason wants me to do this.

Anyone with knowledge of both venues who could recommend one over the other for ease of parking and access?

OP posts:
rumred · 26/09/2021 18:19

Good god, don't go, it's a waste of your life to go to stuff you don't enjoy. Seriously, life's too short to watch shit music (sorry fans)

PawsNotClaws · 26/09/2021 18:22

No, he wouldn’t come to a concert with me if he didn’t like the music. I wanted to see a particular band and he said no.

In that case I would be saying no too.

SwanShaped · 26/09/2021 18:22

Why can’t he go with a friend?

lljkk · 26/09/2021 18:26

Tell him it's really important he has his own interests and not depend on you too much (?)

Or else I'll go with him -- I like Genesis!!

Mantlemoose · 26/09/2021 18:27

If you wouldn't go to see a band you loved due to crowds and stairs then I wouldn't go. If however it was just because you didn't like the band I would go. I went all the way to Berlin with DP to see that self righteous prick Bono. I also hate Berlin.

Ted27 · 26/09/2021 18:27

I went to see them on Tuesday. It was fabulous, they always put on a good show. They are onne of my favourite bands and I knew it would be the last time but even I winced at the ticket price.
It's a lot of money if you don't know the band.
It's was an arena I know well from sports meetings but I had forgotten how steep it was up in the tiers, I felt very wobbly coming down particularly. It wasnt too bad going in but 15000 people leaving at once felt very overwhelming after such a long time.
He should go with a friend who will appreciate the occasion

Downthespidersweb · 26/09/2021 18:28

Not going because you dont "like" the music is unreasonable..i have been to loads of concerts where i would have said this and they turned out to be brilliant.
But not liking crowds is entirely acceptable as is lack of sleep

mrsbitaly · 26/09/2021 18:29

Sometimes it's good to get out of your comfort zone and and see something you wouldn't usually, you never you might enjoy it.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 26/09/2021 18:35

@Seventimesaday

I don't know Leeds but I do know Liverpool and the car park is right by the arena.

Also, whilst you are not disabled, it is still worth contacting venue hospitality, and saying you currently are carrying an injury, can they allocate you easier access seats.

whynotwhatknot · 26/09/2021 18:40

I dont make my dh go to concert he doesnt like hed rather cut his own ears off

theyre arent really bannisters at those sort of gigs if youre high up you'll struggle

unless you go and make sure youre in the stalls still doesnt stop the crowds though

why cant he go with someone else

ButterflyBitch · 26/09/2021 18:41

@BrilloPaddy

DH happily comes along to concerts with me, so I'd normally return the favour. But I don't usually enjoy ageing bands or artists..... we paid £120 each to see Elton John and we walked out halfway as it was so bad. Even autotune couldn't save him and he kept throwing a hissy at the stage hands. It wasn't pleasant.

I'm now praying that DH doesn't see anything advertised as he loves Genesis too Hmm

Where was this? I think dh and I were there too. Dh has been to a Take that concert with me 🙈 but it didn’t cost £150 and he’s not uncomfortable in crowds. So yanbu he can find someone to do who will appreciate that music for that price.
Beautiful3 · 26/09/2021 18:42

No I wouldn't go if I still had a leg injury. I fear crowds too, so that would be he'll for me. Your husband is a big boy, get him to go with his friend.

mylovelydd · 26/09/2021 18:42

This must be what Meatloaf was singing about.

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

AtrociousCircumstance · 26/09/2021 18:56

If he wouldn’t go to see a band you like but he doesn't, then don’t go to this!

TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius · 26/09/2021 19:00

No. If he has refused you this in the past them don't go. What goes around comes around but also there's something horrible about being pressured in this way.

Swipe left for the next trending thread