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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I really don’t want to do this but it would make DH happy. WWYD?

86 replies

Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 17:40

Last night I mentioned, just as part of a much longer conversation, that my friend was going to see Genesis in concert.
My husband got up this morning and decided he really wants to go.
I said no problem, go with your mate or on your own. But he only wants to go with me.
Reasons I don't want to go include…..

I don’t like Genesis. I couldn't name one song of theirs. I would recognise them if you told me though.

The venues we could pick from are an hours drive from us. I either rush to get there after work, or go on my day off and get around 5 hours sleep before going to work the next day.

I hate, hate, hate being in a crowd of people. Being in a building with thousands of other people would be my worst nightmare.

The arenas I have been to previously have seemed very steep, in terms of steps. I am just getting over a serious leg injury and am worried about not being given enough time/ space to go slowly up and down stairs in a crowd.

The tickets are £150 each. We can afford it, but like I said, I don’t like the music anyway.

DH wouldn’t even have thought about going if I hadn’t mentioned it!

So, do I suck it up and go to make him happy?

Oh and 80% of the excuses above are the reasons what I have not been to see Queen whose music I love.

OP posts:
adhdpunchbag · 26/09/2021 19:04

And you not going would make you really happy.

Do who's it going to be? You or him?

SummerHouse · 26/09/2021 19:07

Go. Life is too short. I honestly think you will not regret it. And if karma is a thing, nor will your DH.

I am just relieved it's not a sex thing. Just Genesis!

I do understand your fears and concerns but you can do this.

Kiitos · 26/09/2021 19:10

Leeds Arena is modern and very well-designed so you don’t get the feeling of being in a crowd like in some other venues. Lots of steps though especially if your seats are higher up.
There is a car park right next to the arena

Regularsizedrudy · 26/09/2021 19:10

I would go but I know for a fact my husband would do the same for me

Goldbar · 26/09/2021 19:13

My 3yo DC tried to pull this shit a few weekends ago. "But I only want to go and see the Paw Patrol movie with YOU, Mummy".

Sorry squirt, your daddy and I flipped coins for this one and he lost. So you're going with him or you're not fucking going at all.

Why would your DH, who professes to love you, want you to sit though an evening of something you'll hate when he is (presumably) old enough to go himself or with a friend?

colouringindoors · 26/09/2021 19:20

No, he wouldn’t come to a concert with me if he didn’t like the music. I wanted to see a particular band and he said no

There's your answer.

Onelifeonly · 26/09/2021 19:22

I'd go and not just because I quite like Genesis. I've been to loads of gigs and tv shows with my dd that wouldn't be my choice (including the XFactor tour one year 😩) and always enjoyed them. One late night occasionally won't kill you. I'm not normally over fond of large crowds either, but arenas are ok when you have your own seat.

Plus, be the bigger person- you might shame your DH into going to something you like next time!

Ragwort · 26/09/2021 19:25

There is no way I would go to something like that if I wasn't going to enjoy it, why on Earth can't your DH find a friend to go with? I would never expect my DH to accompany me to something he wouldn't like ... it's not his role to have to 'entertain' me, we are going to London soon, I really want to go to a specific exhibition, tickets are only £10 but of course I will go on my own. It's very 'needy' to expect your spouse to accompany you to something they don't want to do.

Ragwort · 26/09/2021 19:27

"Life is too short" Hmm ... life is too short to have to spend any time at a Genesis concert, I would rather watch paint dry.

QueeniesCroft · 26/09/2021 19:33

My husband loves bagpipe music. I think it sounds like sheep being murdered. He goes to concerts on his own, or takes the kids who also enjoy it too.

It's fairly pointless to waste money on something you won't enjoy, and slightly odd that he wants to pressure you into going when he knows you don't really want to.

Longdistance · 26/09/2021 19:33

Jesus! I’ve just looked for ticket for the London O2 and they’re £325+ for one ticket 😱 now I know why Phil Collins is so rich.

toocold54 · 26/09/2021 19:34

I said no problem, go with your mate or on your own. But he only wants to go with me.
Reasons I don't want to go include…..

His reasons are pretty key to decide how to help.

I personally wouldn’t spend that amount of money on a ticket seeing someone I don’t like. Does he have any friends?

MummyOf4Kids · 26/09/2021 19:37

I know Leeds arena, there are escalators as well as stairs and when last went it wasn't really crowded when everyone was leaving.
I wouldn't pay £150 to see a band I didn't like though

Dillydollydingdong · 26/09/2021 19:38

Just say he's welcome to go if he wants to, but he'll have to pay for the ticket himself, and find someone else to go with.

Papershuffle · 26/09/2021 19:39

No if he wants to go he can sort the ticket and a friend to go with him op!

Why is it your responsibility?

It would be different if this was a much longed for ticket to a concert celebrating a special birthday or something and he had been talking about it for months. Also, you really don't want to risk your recovery. Or catch Covid.

Plumtree391 · 26/09/2021 19:40

Just say you're not going because you don't like being shut in with crowds of people and won't be able to manage with your recent injury. If the venue is anything like some high seats of the O2, it's frankly scary !

(You must know Phil Collins)

Blimey, I just checked and they are at the 02 in October. I think it might be difficult to still get tickets, frankly.

Shoxfordian · 26/09/2021 19:40

If he wouldn’t make an effort to go to something he didn’t like with you then you have no obligation to make the effort back

WaddesdonWanderer · 26/09/2021 19:48

I went to see Hugh Jackman on my own in the Genting Arena, I live about an hour and a half away. I booked it last minute when only single tickets were available and it cost £85. DH wouldn’t have wanted to go, and encouraged me to go alone, saying I could do it, I was a big girl! I did and I had a fab time. I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much if DH had been there and it would’ve been a waste of money. Tell your DH to put his big boy pants on and go alone!

LucyGrey · 26/09/2021 19:50

I saw them last in Manchester. Agree with @Ted27 though. I loved it!

Ragwort · 26/09/2021 19:51

Why is he so keen for you to go with him? Doesn't he have any friends?

Surely he won't enjoy it as much if you are next to him wishing you could be at home in front of the tv Grin.

DartmoorChef · 26/09/2021 19:53

I often go to gigs on my own. It's not like you are there for conversation with your mate.. tell him to go on his own and you'll meet him for a drink after or something..

I wanted to go and see Aerosmith on their next tour but I'm not prepared to pay upwards of £150 for a seated ticket at the back of a huge arena. Concert tickets are ridiculous prices now.

Shellfishblastard · 26/09/2021 19:54

Given the short notice, yes I would go with him. If he was booking tickets for next year he could find a friend.

LadyCatStark · 26/09/2021 19:54

I was going to say YABU but he’s already said he wouldn’t go to a concert with you that he didn’t like so that’s it, case closed!

timesachangin · 26/09/2021 19:55

Oh okay so he didn't and wouldn't do it for you so no then

Disfordarkchocolate · 26/09/2021 19:57

At £150 a ticket I'd want to enjoy it. Its definitely something he should do with a friend.