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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I really don’t want to do this but it would make DH happy. WWYD?

86 replies

Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 17:40

Last night I mentioned, just as part of a much longer conversation, that my friend was going to see Genesis in concert.
My husband got up this morning and decided he really wants to go.
I said no problem, go with your mate or on your own. But he only wants to go with me.
Reasons I don't want to go include…..

I don’t like Genesis. I couldn't name one song of theirs. I would recognise them if you told me though.

The venues we could pick from are an hours drive from us. I either rush to get there after work, or go on my day off and get around 5 hours sleep before going to work the next day.

I hate, hate, hate being in a crowd of people. Being in a building with thousands of other people would be my worst nightmare.

The arenas I have been to previously have seemed very steep, in terms of steps. I am just getting over a serious leg injury and am worried about not being given enough time/ space to go slowly up and down stairs in a crowd.

The tickets are £150 each. We can afford it, but like I said, I don’t like the music anyway.

DH wouldn’t even have thought about going if I hadn’t mentioned it!

So, do I suck it up and go to make him happy?

Oh and 80% of the excuses above are the reasons what I have not been to see Queen whose music I love.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 26/09/2021 19:59

No, he wouldn’t come to a concert with me if he didn’t like the music. I wanted to see a particular band and he said no
There's the answer.

Original poster
Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 20:06

His mates certainly couldn’t afford £150 for a ticket.
The last concert we went to (many years ago) was Status Quo. I like some of their music, but not really a fan as such. I went because he wanted to and I loved it. Talked about it for weeks afterwards. But…it was a small concert hall, very easy to get to and park at.

He tells me I will love this concert too as they put on a great show. @Ted27, how long did the concert last? All the reviews I’ve rad suggest it will be a great night.

What’s swaying it for me is because it will more than likely be their last ever tour, so the last chance he would get to see them. I regret not being able to see Queen with Freddy or Meatloaf due to not being able to afford the tickets at the time.

Mixed feelings from all of you, some would go, some wouldn’t. He isn’t pressurising me at all.

I will sleep on it and make my decision tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Seventimesaday · 26/09/2021 20:14

Generally we love the same music, but the band I wanted to see is the complete opposite to Genesis, and whilst he will put up with their music on in the car for a while, he wouldn’t want to come to a concert.
If I’d had no one else to go with, he would have come with a bit of persuasion.
He was my first choice to go with, but because I had an alternative, I wasn’t fussed when he said no. Tickets to that concert were around £70 if I remember correctly.

His mates would really struggle to find £50 for a concert ticket as they have kids, so all their money goes on them at the moment.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 26/09/2021 20:27

If you dont want to go. Your leg is still healing , he isnt putting pressure on you, and also he wouldnt do the same for you, then im not sure its worth stressing over. Just say sorry, not this one, but maybe we could find something we both like once your leg has healed a bit more

Lilymossflower · 26/09/2021 20:34

.... Just don't go.... You don't owe him anything just because he wants it. Take care of yourself

user1481840227 · 26/09/2021 20:43

Do you do much together? If he really wants to go then surely it would be nice to go and make a nice memory together?

CornedBeef451 · 26/09/2021 20:59

I was meant to go and see him with DH but it was cancelled due to Covid and I was so relieved!

I don't think you should go, with your leg and the crowds you'd be miserable.

Ted27 · 26/09/2021 22:08

it was about 2 hours 20 mins.

I was quite uncomfortable at the end there isnt much space between rows and my knees were protesting, good thing they played one of my favourite songs as the last encore.
I wouldnt have missed it though. It was quite poignant knowing that this will be Phil Collins last tour and because he can’t drum. His son Nic was on drums, he is 20, the same age they were when they started the band

notacooldad · 26/09/2021 22:18

Why cant he go by himself?
I have do e that at both small venues and arenas rather than miss out on a band I want to see.

Original poster
Seventimesaday · 27/09/2021 06:22

@Ted27

it was about 2 hours 20 mins.

I was quite uncomfortable at the end there isnt much space between rows and my knees were protesting, good thing they played one of my favourite songs as the last encore.
I wouldnt have missed it though. It was quite poignant knowing that this will be Phil Collins last tour and because he can’t drum. His son Nic was on drums, he is 20, the same age they were when they started the band

I think this has decided it for me. No way will I be comfortable for over 2 hours without being able to stretch my leg out. I will suggest finding an alternative for next year.
OP posts:
omargard · 27/09/2021 06:33

I can't see the point in going to see a band you don't like. My DH is happy to go on his own and so am I, it seems pointless taking up a ticket that someone else could buy and enjoy.

Joystir59 · 27/09/2021 06:37

Stop being a killjoy and go to the concert with him.

MoiraNotRuby · 27/09/2021 06:47

Ah bless, your DH has been waiting for this moment for all his life. And now you can't dance, can't walk.

I guess it depends how much you love your DH v how awful the concert will be. I wouldn't want to go.

Horsemad · 27/09/2021 07:11

Ah bless, your DH has been waiting for this moment for all his life. And now you can't dance, can't walk.

😆😆😆

I'm seeing them on Thursday but am a fan. I wouldn't waste my time or money going to a concert at all if I wasn't a fan.

Frauhubert · 27/09/2021 07:51

Leeds arena is steep. There are escalators but still you have to walk up the stairs to get to your seat. The car park is a 5min walk, but if you haven’t been before it’s difficult to find. You can see it from the road but not obvious to find the pedestrian entrance/exit and then your way to the arena.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 27/09/2021 07:55

Like fuck would I go.
I'd simply remind him of the concert I wanted to go to and he refused so I went with a friend and I'd ask him why he wants me to do something he was not willing to do.

Mercedes519 · 27/09/2021 07:58

Does he have a friend who loves the music? Can't you gift a ticket to the friend.

You're no worse off financially (as you would pay for your ticket) and he can go with someone who appreciates the music.

And you can have a nice quiet evening Grin

EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues · 27/09/2021 08:04

Why is your husband not concerned about your leg injury, and the likely pain, discomfort and delayed recovery you will suffer?

Squeakycatflap · 27/09/2021 08:12

I bet your leg would miraculously heal if Daniel Craig and the cast from Cats were to put on a sexy furry burlesque-a-thon.

GloriousGoosebumps · 27/09/2021 08:16

Does he feel in the least embarrassed by the fact that he wants you to do something he refused to do for you?

In any event, I wouldn't struggle to manoeuvre around a stadium with a painful leg to see a band I didn't want to see and pay £150 for the privilege. Particularly when dh wouldn't do the same for me. He needs to either put some effort into finding a friend to go with or simply go by himself.

Dontjudgeme101 · 27/09/2021 08:19

@Mercedes519

Does he have a friend who loves the music? Can't you gift a ticket to the friend.

You're no worse off financially (as you would pay for your ticket) and he can go with someone who appreciates the music.

And you can have a nice quiet evening Grin

This 100 percent!
timeisnotaline · 27/09/2021 09:02

@colouringindoors

No, he wouldn’t come to a concert with me if he didn’t like the music. I wanted to see a particular band and he said no

There's your answer.

Yup
Sakurami · 27/09/2021 09:26

I find live music is usually great even if you're not a fan of the artist or music so I would go.

But if he wouldn't go with you then it isn't unreasonable that you not go.

notacooldad · 27/09/2021 10:50

I find live music is usually great even if you're not a fan of the artist or music so I would go
I am the complete opposite.
I go to loads of gigs any night if the week and will fly across Europe to see bands I like.
However if it a genre of music I'm not a fan of I am not going to enjoy that show at all. God knows I've tried!
I have given in too many times to friends who have told me I'll enjoy it once I'm there and wasted £100's by 'giving it a go'

Saying that Genesis are pretty inoffensive. The reviews of the Manchester show was great, the photos friends that went took look amazing. Most people know at least some of their more popular songs even if you are not a fan as such ( I cant dance, turn it on again, follow you, follow me)
Writing all that, I wish I had a ticket now, I wasnt bothered before!!🤣

FAQs · 27/09/2021 10:56

I remember going to see Bon Jovi with a friend who had been let down, def not my type of music but had a really good time. I wouldn’t worry about being tired at work unless it’ll risk injury or something.

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