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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Bf text I love you to

147 replies

Mistygeepurr · 26/09/2021 10:55

I had text of my bf saying I love u to.but I didn't message him it was like he was replying to a text of someone?

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 08:21

People accidentally send a text to the wrong person all the time. It's very common. The mechanics of this are irrelevant to OP's issue, which is that when her partner sends her a text that confuses her, she can't ask him about it, and will suspect he's lying if she does and he answers.

trollopolis · 27/09/2021 08:25

@Hen2018

It’s weird that he spelled “too” wrong. To where? I wonder what the end of the text was going to be.
Maybe he spelt it perfectly, but hit 'send' by mistake before typing the words 'the moon and back'
unsportyspice · 27/09/2021 08:32

I would reply with.
Thank you. I love you also.
See what he replies.

SunshineCake1 · 27/09/2021 08:39

@unsportyspice

I would reply with. Thank you. I love you also. See what he replies.
He'll do nothing or act as if it's normal to text like that Hmm. He's hardly going to own up or act differently to the point it puts him in the firing line.
Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 09:40

So the latest is he cottoned on I was acting bit bizarre and said this morning before he left are u ok u haven't asked yourself I said yes just feeling under the weather he messaged me then at work and said he will buy us a Chinese toinght 2 cheer me up.now is this because I said I was feeling under the weather or because deep down he knoes I am bit uptight about the text message.i think I've left it so long now yes clinked and thought of a excuse he is going 2 say.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 09:45

In a healthy, adult relationship, this wouldn't be happening. You don't have to guess what your partner is thinking or worry about them making excuses.

He's actually asked you now what's wrong, and you still haven't talked to him about it. Why?

You clearly don't trust him, so why do you want to be with him?

Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 09:45

Another thing also hrs active alot on FB messenger on the Saturdays than he is when he's working in the week.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 09:47

@TheFoundations I Do trust him I'm just finding it a bit hard 2 believe that's all.twlling myself it was a auto typo etc.

OP posts:
Marjoriedrawers · 27/09/2021 09:49

So you've had lots of opportunities to ask him but didn't? Why? Just get it over with and ask him who he was texting.

altmember · 27/09/2021 09:49

What other 'evidence' do you have of him cheating and being in love with someone else?

Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 09:52

No evidence of anything being out of character at all. But it will always be in the back of my mind.i mite sit down later when having good and bring it up make out that was the reason I was off maybe make a joke about it in some way so it doesn't sound like I'm putting him on spot.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 09:53

[quote Mistygeepurr]@TheFoundations I Do trust him I'm just finding it a bit hard 2 believe that's all.twlling myself it was a auto typo etc.[/quote]
If you think that when you bring it up, he'll lie or make an excuse, you don't trust him. It's not complicated.

BrilliantBetty · 27/09/2021 09:58

He'll just lie if you ask him.

Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 10:02

There's never been any distrust he's previous relationship with his daughters mum was a amicably separation no distrust etc he's actually dead against it.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 27/09/2021 10:06

@Mistygeepurr

Another thing also hrs active alot on FB messenger on the Saturdays than he is when he's working in the week.
If he's with another woman once a week he wouldn't be spending much time on messenger.
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 10:13

@Mistygeepurr

There's never been any distrust he's previous relationship with his daughters mum was a amicably separation no distrust etc he's actually dead against it.
I'm talking about trusting him to tell you the truth.

If you talk to him about this, you think he will probably lie, you've said that up thread. If you think someone is likely to lie to you, that's distrust. If there's distrust, it's an unhealthy relationship.

Why do you want to be in a relationship with somebody you think would lie to you? Can't you see that that's unhealthy?

Flyg · 27/09/2021 10:19

@RH1234

It always amazes me how many of you on here automatically jump on the "he's cheating", "get rid", "check his phone" etc.

It's no wonder blokes have left you and treated you that way, clearly they feel so insecure or inferior due to your behaviour.

Everyone constantly is saying 'Be Kind', support each other, but all you'll have done is fuel a fire, that potentially is nothing, but the poor OP now thinks her partner isn't even working on a Saturday as they're meeting someone. Doesn't take a genius to figure out if he's meeting someone else, he wouldn't have text them at the same time?

I joined MN to literally check if there was anything me and my wife might need to consider for our little girl; yet it's just full of bitter twisted people half the time that resent their partners / lives. (Excluding those looking for advice on abusive relationships etc). Not all men are the monsters described.

To the OP, I hope it was just a typo that they sent to you. The most sensible thing to do would be to just ask him. He will obviously say it was a mistake, it's then up to you to decide if you trust him enough to remain.

Exactly, 'Be Kind' you bitter, twisted people who resent your partners/lives. Its no wonder blokes have left you and treated you that way.

Self awareness level when posting this - 0

He then finishes up by just giving the exact same advice as the vast majority of other people, as if he has come up with some kind of revelation none of the silly twisted women could manage.

Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 10:22

Deep down I think it was a typo or meant something else just find it a bit unusual he didn't then being it up when he come home and said did u get the text etc I meant 2 say this or that. I don't know I'm probably being daft and there was nothing in it.

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 10:33

If that's what you really thought, you wouldn't have posted here.

What's happening is that you've got that uncomfortable little niggle telling you something is off, and you're doing everything you can to ignore it, including calling yourself daft.

The niggle is your gut instinct. Listen to it. Respect it. Respond to it. It is the core of you. If you really think that calling the core of you 'daft' is a good idea, there's no wonder you're choosing this relationship above a healthy one.

girlmom21 · 27/09/2021 10:41

If that's what you really thought, you wouldn't have posted here.

Or maybe by posting here when she was panicked, other posters have helped her think a little more rationally?

We all jump to conclusions sometimes and need someone to bring us back down.

SunshineCake1 · 27/09/2021 10:43

@Mistygeepurr

Deep down I think it was a typo or meant something else just find it a bit unusual he didn't then being it up when he come home and said did u get the text etc I meant 2 say this or that. I don't know I'm probably being daft and there was nothing in it.
If you want to stay then own it.
TheFoundations · 27/09/2021 10:44

OP's instinct was that she didn't understand his text, and she was too worried that he'd lie to ask him about it. She still hasn't asked him, despite him approaching her about her seeming unsettled, and, if he answers with some innocent response, OP won't believe him.

This isn't a momentary passing insecure thought. This is a perfect picture of an unhealthy relationship; regardless of who the message was meant to be for.

RevolvingPivot · 27/09/2021 10:46

Do you think it's an "online" affair??

If you think he's seeing someone on a Saturday while telling you he's at work why would he be on messenger?!

DogInATent · 27/09/2021 10:56

He went out the door to work, he heard you say "I love you" as he left. Later he's panicking he didn't respond at the time, so he sends you a quick text saying "I love you too" just in case.

Stop worrying about nothing.

Original poster
Mistygeepurr · 27/09/2021 10:56

He's just completely acting normal if there was a change in behaviour I could pinpoint alot more but nothing seems out of the ordinary with him he leaves his phone around me like if he leaves the room he will leave his phone around me.ive read on Google I know I shouldn't of sign's of cheating etc and he doesn't add up 2 any of the signs.im going 2 have 2 say something tonight or it will just keep eating me up inside.

OP posts:
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