What do you fink ?

[Sonaftersonafterson]

About seeing someone who pronounces their 'th' as an 'f'? As in, "I was firsty anyway".

Would it put you off? Hes an intelligent guy but.... oh god, I dont know. Am I being a snob??

@Famousinlove

To the people saying it's regional, which regions pronounce th's as f's?

Essex, Kent and general estuary accent commonly do this. As well as some London accents.

Obviously not all accents from these areas. But many people I know and have heard do. This isn't how I speak nor is it massively common where I'm from BTW.

If it's regional it affects a lot of regions!

It's not particular to any region. It happens all over the UK. For differing reasons!

@Ourlady

Hell no, I couldn't deal with that. Have you spoke to him about it?

Spoken.

Bit rich to say you can't deal with it then not use the correct grammar yourself. I'm not normally a grammar wanker but in this case it feels right to point this out.

It's a no from me.

To the people saying it's regional, which regions pronounce th's as f's?

As a pp said, it’s Estuary. Hence the mysterious popularity of Arthur, Martha, Theo and Thea as names among the under-5s here.

@TheWayTheLightFalls

To the people saying it's regional, which regions pronounce th's as f's?

As a pp said, it’s Estuary. Hence the mysterious popularity of Arthur, Martha, Theo and Thea as names among the under-5s here.

It's certainly not limited to there! It's here in the North West too. We know a Feeorr too. (Thea).

I guess it is a stereotype I've always held but never really given much thought to because I rarely encountered it from people close to me. I am West London btw, so far from snobby! Working class most definitely and I'm not even uni educated myself so I'm not being an arsehole here or "looking down" on him deliberately. My subconscious seems to though.

I think you are being snobby though despite what you consider a non snobby background because his accent and lack of home ownership and his income level are all swaying you, despite you thinking you’re perfectly matched in other ways. But you do you as they say, if he’s not for you and you have the ick then let him go and find someone who matches what’s important to you.

@Sonaftersonafterson

About seeing someone who pronounces their 'th' as an 'f'? As in, "I was firsty anyway".

Would it put you off? Hes an intelligent guy but.... oh god, I dont know. Am I being a snob??

It would drive me completely nuts. Sorry.

I had no idea it was a dialect. I thought it was lazy speech.
I still think it's lazy speech tbh, but then I talk posh, apparently.

The thing is OP, this in England and class markers are a thing. Accent and dialect are class markers. So I wouldn’t be surprised if it did affect your perception of him to some degree.

@Sonaftersonafterson

I guess it is a stereotype I've always held but never really given much thought to because I rarely encountered it from people close to me. I am West London btw, so far from snobby! Working class most definitely and I'm not even uni educated myself so I'm not being an arsehole here or "looking down" on him deliberately. My subconscious seems to though.

Odd to be working class and look down on people who don't own their own home. There are a lot of us by the way... maybe make it clear you don't 'do' renters from the outset if it's such a dealbreaker for you.

If he hasn't 'wooed' you enough to see past this then it's probably not going anywhere anyway.

(It would drive me mad too)

@youvegottenminuteslynn

You're jumping on one part of this. The part that relates to your status presumably, hence you taking offence. It's not about that so stop making it about that. The guy renting is, in itself, not a big deal to me at all! It's is combined with the other things i have clearly stated.

@Sakurami

I'm not bothered about looks but I like an articulate person. I'd struggle to feel attracted to someone who speaks like that

You'd struggle to feel attracted to someone with a regional accent?

I'm afraid you are being rather snobbish, OP. My DP is from Essex and he has a proper "Essex Boy" accent. He's not academic, but he is extremely intelligent, well-read and funny, and probably the most emotionally literate man I have ever met. His accent doesn't bother me one little bit. He says 'fink' and 'ain't '... and it makes no difference at all. I ain't giving him up for anything!

@Sonaftersonafterson

It's not a speech impediment! Its regional I guess, london.

I couldn’t put up with it tbh

Nope nopity nope nope.

@Chunkymenrock

It's not dialect or an accent. It's lazy speech.

No it isn't lazy speech. It is a regional pronunciation, and a local dialect, particularly prevalent among Cockneys, and those in the east of London & parts of Hertfordshire and Essex.

It is.

noun
/ˈaks(ə)nt,ˈaksɛnt/
1.
a distinctive way of pronouncing a language, especially one associated with a particular country, area, or social class.

This is quite a wide definition, but fits the bill.

[quote Sonaftersonafterson]@youvegottenminuteslynn

You're jumping on one part of this. The part that relates to your status presumably, hence you taking offence. It's not about that so stop making it about that. The guy renting is, in itself, not a big deal to me at all! It's is combined with the other things i have clearly stated.[/quote]
If you say so 👍🏻

It's TH-fronting, replacing th sounds with other fricatives. There is a lot out there on the topic - a lot of British dialects have it, a handful of American dialects have it too, not sure about other countries. Some might put it on as they would any part of an accent, but I don't see how it's lazier to replace one sound with another - /f/ doesn't take less effort than /th/.

My spouse does this, he can't hear the difference between three and free. Neither can some of our kids. It was a bit bothersome while trying to teach them to spell (and I did do the 'stick your tongue between your teeth' which had some goofy results) and sometimes I have to ask them to clarify what they've said, but otherwise it's just how they talk. My oldest was under speech therapy and audiologist, but none of them were bothered by that as others have said.

With dating, you get to choose what's your thing and what's not. I don't see what's embarrassing about it, but I have met people who think my accent is fun to mock when it's obviously normal to me.

@Sonaftersonafterson

I guess it is a stereotype I've always held but never really given much thought to because I rarely encountered it from people close to me. I am West London btw, so far from snobby! Working class most definitely and I'm not even uni educated myself so I'm not being an arsehole here or "looking down" on him deliberately. My subconscious seems to though.

But you clearly are though.

I couldn’t cope with it!

Two of my secondary school maths teachers did it and it was so so annoying

Yeah I guess I am looking down on him. I hate that because I genuinely think he is a fab person. He is literate, well travelled, fascinating. However, our apparent class difference is definitely a problem - made apparent by his use of f instead of th but evident in other ways. We met for a drink and I was genuinely shocked when he said he'd got a train and a bus to get there. The fact that he lives from pay cheque to pay cheque isn't exactly attractive. I have asked myself why, at the same age as me, has he not achieved more? He is clearly smart and ambitious. We couldn't share fancy hotels every once in a while or go for a lovely meal. Same class... we are BOTH working class. It just seems my work has led to my own home, car, financial stability in my 40s and he.... well, he has a bus pass. It is what it is and he is so lovely, he will have no problems finding someone equally lovely.