Men - what would you do if you received this text

[dedonde]

So assuming you were single obviously… if you had hooked up with someone 2 weeks ago that you met at a party and weren’t that fussed about seeing them again but then received a text saying ‘round 2 this weekend?’

Would you go even if you weren’t that keen just for the sex?

I want to send this to a guy but unsure how he will respond and terrified of him saying no

What do you want him to say? Why are you sending anything if you don’t think he’s keen ?

What do you want out of this?

A shag? Or for him to date you?

I think what you do next should hinge on what you want out of it really, not on what his response would be to that specific wording.

So what if he says no? Block and move on.

‘round 2 this weekend?’

Ugh, gross. I would not be impressed. Wanting some repeat fun is perfectly fine, but you can at least be respectful, mature, and decent about it. This just screams sleazebag to me, and coming from a male or female is irrelevant.

if you had hooked up with someone 2 weeks ago that you met at a party and weren’t that fussed about seeing them again

I wouldn’t be contacting them if I didn’t care about seeing them one way or the other.

Ick

I think I'd think he was a creep.
And I think a guy would think 'doesn't she have anyone else in her life?'.

Just, don't.

That's a grim text unless you'd already spoken about being a booty call.

If he was interested he'd have been in touch by now so I really wouldn't have sent that text.

If you are terrified of him saying no, then this isn’t a good idea. This level of anxiety about his response, to the point where you will start a thread on mumsnet to query your message, suggests that you probably like him more than just a casual shag and are hoping this might turn into something regular…or serious.

If you want a casual shag as a woman- you could literally hop on Tinder and be having a nice drink with a ripped, 9 out of ten. He’s a man- he knows this too, and will have his ego inflated the size of South America if you are approaching him for sex.

I’m not against FWB- I just think it has the potential for disaster.

If I got a 'round 2 this weekend?' I'd have the ick. No thank you.

Approaching men for sex rarely works well.

Despite what they say about loving ‘chicks who make the first move!!!!’- it’s usually quite the opposite. You meet in a club, or you meet online with one thing clearly on your mind- whatever….that’s different. When a woman sends text messages begging acquaintances to shag her, they don’t think ‘woah what a liberated sexual goddess, Aphrodite come down from mount olympus! I must be with her!’ they usually think desperate.

Send a friendly direct message.
“Are you free this weekend? Fancy a drink/ walk in the park/ trip to Broadstairs?”

Eugh no!

I'm not a man but ime yes, I think far too man men would be round your house with their trousers round their ankles before you've laid your phone back down after pressing send

I want to send this to a guy but unsure how he will respond and terrified of him saying no

Why are you terrified of him saying no if you’re so cool, only in it for the sex and happy to use and be used just for that reason?

Okay, maybe not the best way to phrase it. Just want to ask him if he wants to have sex again, that’s all. And the reason I’m terrified is not because I want more than sex but because it would be a blow to my self esteem

@dedonde

Okay, maybe not the best way to phrase it. Just want to ask him if he wants to have sex again, that’s all. And the reason I’m terrified is not because I want more than sex but because it would be a blow to my self esteem

Nothing asked, nothing gained, all the best

Just ask if he'd like to get together this weekend. He's not stupid, he'll know what you're after.

I wouldn't send that if it will affect your self-esteem to get a knock back.

Just send a him a normal (slightly less aggressive) message. ‘Hey, it’s XX. Was thinking about how much fun we had the other night. How are you doing?’

Leave it open ended (so it’s not a dent in your self confidence if he blanks you - you haven’t been turned down per se) and see what he comes back with. Or just shag someone else.

Then a subtler text is the way to go. Fancy a drink this weekend at pub x? Pub x being round the corner from your house. If he says yes, great. You make clear after a drink or two you just want to fuck. Then go home and do. If he says no, then it is less of a rejection…

Don’t do it, just don’t.
If you have low self esteem this won’t help.

I think he will probably be up for it but he wont think much of you for it

a dent to* your confidence, even!

I think a lot you men would bite your hand off TBH.

But why would it knock your self esteem if someone says no ?

Anyhow as PP suggests subtle is better, but he will understand anyhow

Then a subtler text is the way to go. Fancy a drink this weekend at pub x? Pub x being round the corner from your house. If he says yes, great. You make clear after a drink or two you just want to fuck. Then go home and do. If he says no, then it is less of a rejection…

Or
*Just send a him a normal (slightly less aggressive) message. ‘Hey, it’s XX. Was thinking about how much fun we had the other night. How are you doing?’

Leave it open ended (so it’s not a dent in your self confidence if he blanks you - you haven’t been turned down per se) and see what he comes back with. Or just shag someone else.*

Both are probably more favourable options

Ok
I'm not a man. But I've had sex with a lot of men. (and quite a few women but that's by the by)

Generally speaking, if a man wants to repeat a ONS, he'll ask for your number at the time (if give you his) and will contact you, even minimally, after.

If he hasn't contacted you since you hooked up, then he's not interested. If you contact him and offer no strings sex, he might accept in the absence of a better offer. If you've already got self esteem issues, that is really not a position you want to put yourself in.