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Original poster

Men - what would you do if you received this text

88 replies

dedonde · 16/09/2021 17:57

So assuming you were single obviously… if you had hooked up with someone 2 weeks ago that you met at a party and weren’t that fussed about seeing them again but then received a text saying ‘round 2 this weekend?’

Would you go even if you weren’t that keen just for the sex?

I want to send this to a guy but unsure how he will respond and terrified of him saying no Blush

OP posts:
5128gap · 16/09/2021 19:27

@Suprima

Approaching men for sex rarely works well.

Despite what they say about loving ‘chicks who make the first move!!!!’- it’s usually quite the opposite. You meet in a club, or you meet online with one thing clearly on your mind- whatever….that’s different. When a woman sends text messages begging acquaintances to shag her, they don’t think ‘woah what a liberated sexual goddess, Aphrodite come down from mount olympus! I must be with her!’ they usually think desperate.

Depends how attractive the woman is. If OP is unattractive or he only finds her so so, he will maybe think she's desperate (might still accept tbough) if she's hot he'll think its his birthday. In fact if she's hot it won't matter what she texts. Its tough, but thems the breaks.
TooBigForMyBoots · 16/09/2021 19:27

I'm not sure this is the best site to ask for a male viewpoint @dedonde.

Dillydollydingdong · 16/09/2021 19:30

Invest in a sex toy? Much safer.

talkalarm · 16/09/2021 19:33

Do you literally just want sex again or do you want more?

If it's just sex don't send the subtle test, he won't reply. If you want sex, send yours. I suspect he will reply but if he doesn't, his loss

toocold54 · 16/09/2021 19:44

If it’s just sex then I think it’s a breezy way to ask so you’ve got nothing to lose. But does he have your number and if yes has he contacted you at all? If he’s not contacted you then I’d probably take it as he’s not interested in more than a one night stand which is not unusual.

Marineboy67 · 16/09/2021 19:49

Certainly not "round to mine for 2" sounds awfully cheap & easy!
Just construct an simple friendly message involving a casual date & a drink kind of thing!
Maybe I'm an old fashioned 50 something that prefers to work on getting to know someone first.

Boatingforthestars · 16/09/2021 20:02

I think there is more to this whole thing.

Firstly I'm a man so giving the description you used where he's not intrested overly, if i had no plans a dirty evening in with someone is better than sitting home alone, if there's a better offer and I'm really not intrested take the better offer.

Where this gets deeper, I feel you have some issue around knowing he's not intrested, why are you beating yourself up. Offering a man sex is like offering a dog food, he will take it even if he doesn't want it because it's there.
You are literally setting yourself up to be used, and it's not going to end well.

If it's a shag you're intrested in, go find a stranger that actually wants to fuck you and not someone who will just take up the offer. You won't have to look far , and it will likely feel less sleezy.

Antinerak · 16/09/2021 20:06

It's been 2 weeks, I think if he was feeling mutual he would've contacted you by now. If you only want a shag find someone else, not him.

flowerlass · 16/09/2021 20:34

Men are very basic creatures so I think you message is good because it gets to the point.

Asking him out for a drink or whatever might sound like you want a date and relationship which he has said he is not interested in.

Send a message that is basically asking for rumpy pumpy if that is what you really want. You will get back a yay or nay and then get on with your life accordingly. Job jobbed.

Ifyoudontlikeitdosomethingelse · 16/09/2021 20:38

Nothing wrong with getting a bit of a knock down every now and then. Don't accept a dive in your self esteem. If you never do anything that scares you, how do you grow? The best way to grow as a person is to take a risk. Sometimes it works out and we feel great. Sometimes it doesn't and it can hurt. But you don't have to live with the hurt. Use it to grow as a person and better yourself.

If you want to have sex with him again then text him.

thumpingrug · 16/09/2021 20:43

You could at least offer to buy dinner, or get him a bunch of flowers first. He may have some feelings.

GoGadgetGo · 16/09/2021 21:32

I only read the first page...why not say, "fancy a shag this weekend? You have my number."

This is straight to the point, no messing around.

annacondom · 16/09/2021 21:39

@thumpingrug

You could at least offer to buy dinner, or get him a bunch of flowers first. He may have some feelings.
I really like this!
lovescaca · 16/09/2021 21:40

Haha, I ask my partner and he said he would go. And what's the big deal if he says no 🤷🏼‍♀️

TedMullins · 16/09/2021 21:49

Christ you guys need to take the sticks out your arses 🙄 a woman wants sex so is “happy to be used?” Is sex just a thing that’s done to women then, not something they can actively enjoy?

I’ve sent similar texts in my time and had varying results. Most got a positive result, some got lame excuses and nothing happened again. The ones that worked led to a couple of occasional, successful FWBs. I wasn’t used - I was an active, willing participant - I didn’t catch feelings, I got some good sex and had fun.

All that said, if your self esteem is that fragile that you’d find it difficult to deal with if he ignored or said no, it might not be the best idea.

sammylady37 · 16/09/2021 22:05

@Talkingmouse

Then a subtler text is the way to go. Fancy a drink this weekend at pub x? Pub x being round the corner from your house. If he says yes, great. You make clear after a drink or two you just want to fuck. Then go home and do. If he says no, then it is less of a rejection…
How is that, a rejection delivered in person, after which she has to awkwardly leave or watch him leave, “less of a rejection” than a simple text, or lack of a text??
sammylady37 · 16/09/2021 22:06

Unless of course, you meant he says no to the drink in the first place, not to her making it clear after two drinks that she wanted to fuck.
Apologies, I misinterpreted it!
As you were Grin

GentlemanJay · 16/09/2021 22:47

@dedonde

Okay, maybe not the best way to phrase it. Just want to ask him if he wants to have sex again, that’s all. And the reason I’m terrified is not because I want more than sex but because it would be a blow to my self esteem Hmm
If you are worried about yourself esteem and potential dates reactions, you shouldn't be in the dating game.
blue30 · 16/09/2021 23:07

As a man but I speak only for myself obvs.

I would assume that she wanted to receive a picture of my erect penis. Kidding. I’d probably raise a slightly impressed eyebrow, think you go girl and commence flirting.

I would abort if I thought she had stalker potential or massively didn’t fancy her, which would be unlikely since we’ve already slept together in this fantasy world.

Kuachui · 16/09/2021 23:20

I would send a simple "hey its xx from the party 2 weeks ago. Fancy coming round to mine again this weekend?"

If they say no then they say no that's fine, doesn't necessarily mean they didn't like you, some people generally don't have one night stands multiple nights with someone haha or they may just only be interested in it after a party sorta thing

Vitallyli · 16/09/2021 23:38

@flowerlass job jobbed is now my favorite expression! Thank you 😂 also agree with your point entirely!

Opentooffers · 16/09/2021 23:47

If your self esteem cannot deal with the risk of being rejected for sex, then you are not actually a person who can separate out sex as just a fun activity, from inner feelings. This is fine, and how most women operate. Trying to act cool, when you are clearly not, about being able to compartmentalise sex from connection or emotion, will only harm yourself. If you were that blasé about it, you would not care if he said yes or no, and you would not need to guage opinion on here. Don't send the text on the basis that you are already second guessing if he'd say yes or no.
This will go worse for you if he says yes, so it's a lose, lose question.
If you'd like to get to know him, send something different, just not that.

SunscreenCentral · 17/09/2021 00:03

What @Opentooffers said. A very intelligent and cogent post. Good luck OP, whatever you decide

GrandmaSteglitszch · 17/09/2021 00:17

the reason I’m terrified is not because I want more than sex but because it would be a blow to my self esteem

Have a bit of self respect, can't you.

DoncasterHombre · 17/09/2021 00:21

I'd be round first thing on Saturday morning wearing a vest, head guard, gum shield, flashy shorts with my name on the waistband and boxing gloves . . . . probably holding a fish too. You could take a pic of me for my POF, Tinder, Fetlife, Bumble, etc profiles, right?

If you enjoyed having sex with him and you're up for it again on a casual basis, just say. You don't need to say something "edgy" and you certainly shouldn't be terrified about him saying he doesn't want to.