Anyone else feeling down at the thought of another single autumn/ winter?

[ViennaSnowTrain]

I started the summer so optimistic and really wanted to go on dates just for fun.

I couldn't bloody well meet anyone! On neither Bumble nor Tinder

I don't particularly mind being single, but god, wouldn't it be lovely to have someone nice.

wouldn't it be lovely to have someone nice

Would it though. The older I get, the less I'm prepared to compromise. I'm done raising my child, and I'm perfectly capable of hiring someone off my builder for anything my son and I can't handle.

My sons dad used to stroke my forehead to help me fall asleep. I'm no longer a wounded animal dealing with trauma. I don't need forehead stroking at the expense of my self esteem.

Yes it would, actually.

It's not fair to come on and minimise my feelings when you have had a child and relationships. I haven't.

It's also not fair to trot out the 'better no relationship than a bad one' line. I know that. Those are NOT the only options.

If you want an honest answer to your question- no. I’m personally not feeling down at the thought of another single autumn/winter.

It doesn’t seem from your previous post like you want honest answers though? Just commiseration?

It's also not fair to trot out the 'better no relationship than a bad one' line. I know that. Those are NOT the only options.

OK - what are the other options you're considering

I answered your thread title but it sounds you're hurting and I'm sorry for that 💐

Generally speaking, I love being single. But gosh would it be nice to make an actual connection with someone again. I'd love to be in love.

I dont need 'just for company' though.
I just wish I could find the butterflies again with someone ace.

I've never had butterflies. That would be wonderful.

I've been doing a lot of work on myself and I would like

• great dates
• short, fun, healthy relationships
• strong long term relationships
• butterflies

Sorry if I sounded snappy. I feel like everyone just puts me down for imagining I might meet someone.

I'm feeling half and half about it. Feeling down about not having someone nice and feeling excited about seeing them but feeling relieved not to be with someone and unhappy. Agree with PP I dont want to be with someone , I want to be with the one.

Yep, with you on that. Would love a support thread to help me get through it, if anyone's interested. It's not called cuffing season for nothing....

Funnily enough I think I've only ever had butterflies for unrequited crushes or the occasional celeb obsession. Never anyone I've actually dated :( at least, not that I can remember. Which is maybe why I'm getting fussier in my old age. Because I dont want to be is something mediocre and miss the chance for something amazing.

Apparently Michael Gove's on Bumble.

Whether the moral of that is "you see, there are solvent successful single men out there!" Or "you see, it could be worse!" is up to you.

Apparently Michael Gove's on Bumble.

Oh, there's a truly horrifying thought

@ViennaSnowTrain

I started the summer so optimistic and really wanted to go on dates just for fun.

I couldn't bloody well meet anyone! On neither Bumble nor Tinder

I don't particularly mind being single, but god, wouldn't it be lovely to have someone nice.

You sound like me.

I am the only single person I know (how awful is that) so it is nice to hear of others in the same boat.

No! all my best outfits for some reason are winter ones!
It's just finding a match now!

Can you articulate how this would improve your life?

I'm really not sure how a relationship would improve your life? Presuming you have friends and family and economic independence?

Certainly approaching the wonderful season of autumn in this way, seems a missed opportunity?

@crochetmonkey74

I'm feeling half and half about it. Feeling down about not having someone nice and feeling excited about seeing them but feeling relieved not to be with someone and unhappy. Agree with PP I dont want to be with someone , I want to be with the one.

I can relate to this!

I'm content by myself but that overall part of me deep down would like my forever partner. I try not to think about it if I'm honest and I've tried to come to terms with the fact I might just not meet anyone again, ever.

Can you articulate how this would improve your life?

I'm really not sure how a relationship would improve your life?

Can you articulate why you need this spelled out? Why do you think I might like to have a relationship?

@ViennaSnowTrain

I am the only single person I know (how awful is that) so it is nice to hear of others in the same boat.

“how awful is that” is going to get a lot of eye rolls, because a lot of single ladies don’t think it’s so “awful” at all.

I’m sorry you are feeling lonely and you want to be in a relationship.

The healthiest thing you can do is focus on yourself and learn to be happy with yourself as a single person. Counterintuitively, this will also make you more attractive.

I’m sorry, I know that advice isn’t what you’re here for.

I am happy with myself. I am happy with my life. I also know I would be happier with someone else to share it.

I am not making myself unattractive in any way by stating this or believing this.

I’m not calling you unattractive my dear

I agree with op. I don't want or need a very serious relationship but someone to go to cinema with or a salsa class or Sunday lunch in a pub. I do stuff like going to cinema and theatre myself but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to share the experience. Plus I wouldn't say no to some sex.

No, you are. You're more or less calling me desperate and hiding it in concern for my 'health'. It's a shitty thing to say to someone.

I think you are projecting. Your responses in general are quite hostile. People aren’t out to get you.

I’m irritated with people who think it’s okay to minimise my feelings.

Op you're really reacting to negative beliefs about yourself that just aren't real.

If you're reacting to potential partners like this then yes they're going to run a mile. Just like a woman with healthy relationship models and good self esteem would react to some poor bloke who's been sucked into "incel" or "red pill" or "mra" bollocks.