Hi,
I recently caught my husband on grindr, after being married less than 6 months. He says he only ever downloads it when he is drunk. We sat down and spoke about it and he says he had an experience in Thailand many years ago, and this found a new interest in trans women. He says he is not into men. I thought we were good, but admittedly we have always found it difficult to have deep, meaningful conversations.
On top of all of this, it has come to light that he may have bipolar, which would explain the impulsive and reckless decision making. He has been referred and waiting for a diagnosis.
I need advice. On one hand, I chose to marry this man in sickness and in health. If he is genuinely mentally ill, I want to support him. On the other hand, I feel deeply betrayed by his lies and talking to other people behind my back.
He is adamant that he has never once met up with any of these people as he's never had the balls to. But he says he does it for a sense of feeling wanted. He is saying he loves me and only wants me, but I now have serious doubts. What if this happens again in the future? I don't want a relationship where I feel the need to check up on my husband or have this constant worry of who he is texting.
He says his behaviour is fuelled by alcohol and has admitted he has a problem. He is willing to give it up. This addiction all ties in to the symptoms of bipolar and I just don't know which direction to go in, is this a sign telling me to walk? Or do I stay and support my husband irregardless of what he has done. 