Am I in the wrong for feeling upset about something my MIL said?

[Mamaoftwo2112]

I will just cut to the chase very quickly. I stopped breastfeeding at 2 months (please don't judge me) for many different reasons: my partner pressured me to breastfeed as it is the best nutrients for our baby (I didnt really want to but I thought he has little control and I would give him that for piece of mind of our babies health. I stopped because of the pain, plus baby stopped latching properly as I was using a nipple guard and that complicated the whole thing. Also for convenience of the day time as I was not leaving the house because of breastfeeding: the leaks when you are out etc. Plus I just never really got the hang of it. It was an extremely tough decision for me to stop and I still feel super guilty over it and some days stress about it. (Have I done a disservice to my baby is he going to have health problems growing up etc). My partner's mum said to him " i really wish she hadn't stopped breastfeeding" this has just made me feel really irritated and upset. I don't know what answers I'm looking for here but maybe just some reasurance that this is my body and I get to choose. She breastfed all her babies way over six months. The comment has made me feel extremely inadequate and upset about this whole breastfeeding thing all over again.

She's got zero right to say anything. I understand how you feel. She clearly doesn't and shouldn't be given the time of day. People are judgy AF sometimes.

I hate people who judge like this. Honestly, happy Mum makes a massive difference to baby. Breastfeeding doesn't suit everyone. That's not a disservice to your baby, you struggling and being unhappy is far worse for you baby than bottle feeding. Cut yourself some slack and tell her to mind her own business next time.

YANBU. It's none of her business. Your DP should have told her when she said it she was in the wrong. You feed your baby how you want to feed it, it's not up for a vote.

It’s not for everyone. As someone who did it successfully, I can see why she’d wish you’d continued because we all want the best for babies in our families.

But it’s not anyone’s decision but yours. If it didn’t work for you for whatever reason at all, you are right to stop.

Your body, your choice.

Why did your partner tell you what his mother said to him? That’s pretty undermining. (Unless she said it in your presence, in which case, how very rude of her!)

She just expressed an opinion - she didn't call you names or say you were selfish etc.

She wishes you hadn't stopped breastfeeding. She was maybe tactless to say so but it's just an opinion.

Well done for breastfeeding for 2 months, that's a big achievement! Don't take any notice of nosy MIL, it's none of her business.

Why did your partner tell you what his mother said to him? That’s pretty undermining.

This.

I think you have a DP problem rather than a MIL problem.

Please ignore her ignorant comments. It's none of her business. You don't have to explain your reasons to anyone - not to us on here, not to your MIL, not to anyone.

I was determined to breastfeed with my first - because of the pressure I was under to do so. My parents gently stepped in after a few weeks of utter misery and suggested I might try supplementing with formula. The difference in my baby was immense! They were clearly much happier with formula, at last they felt full, which meant they slept for longer, which meant I had a minute to myself and was happier and healthier. Better for the baby, better for me.

Don't let anyone judge you, and don't feel you have to explain. It won't harm your child at all. Look around you at everyone you know... Whether or not they are happy, healthy, clever, funny, hard-working, honest, sociable, 'succesful' - has nothing at all to do with whether they were breast or bottle fed.

He was wrong to pressurise you and your MIL should have kept quiet.

You did well to get to 8 weeks when it was still painful and not going well - you did amazing!!

Perhaps have a chat with your DH about reminding his Mum if she can't say anything nice/supportive then to mind her manners and not say anything at all!

Well done for doing it for so long and for not smacking your partner's chops !
He's wrong to pressure to start & worse to say what his mother said to him.
Calm & settled Mom + fed baby = happy everyone in my book. You do you x

Your boobs, your baby, your business.

Tell her to piss off.

So your MIL would rather you were in pain? Nice.

BF doesn't always work out. I BF one and couldn't my second child for medical reasons. Worried myself sick at the time but both children are ABSOLUTELY FINE. Your child will be too.

Don't let a thoughtless (or unkind) comment trouble you.

“I wish I had a more supportive MIL, I wish breastfeeding had been easier, but unfortunately what we wish for isn’t always possible. Luckily Dd is well fed, well loved, happy, healthy and content, and that’s surely the main thing we wish for?”

What on earth would he pass that on?!

OP you will look back on this in 5 years time and wonder why you gave it so much headspace. The baby is getting fed, you are happier not being in pain. You did really well getting to 8 weeks!

You've done brilliantly. I wasn't able to feed my 3 beyond a few days (no milk) so please believe me when I say that your child will be FINE (mine are teens now).

Ignore MIL. If DH doesn't defend you you have a DH problem.

Well done!

My MIL used to stand over me breastfeeding saying 'he's not getting enough' trying to pressurise me into bottle feeding. It was because she had bottle fed. Your MIL is reflecting her own choice not yours - and it is your choice - ignore her and carry on enjoying your happy, fed and loved baby.

You will get a lot of opinions from everyone. Ignore them. Do what is best for you and your family.

I honestly wish i had stopped breastfeeding one of my babies as it was such hard work and relentless and exhausting for both of us. No one should judge women with regards to how they choose to feed their babies and for how long. Clearly millions of babies happily survive on formula milk each year

You’ve done really well to manage that long.
You know your own mind so try and ignore what she says.
You are the mother.
Happy mother happy baby. 💐

Neither of then have the right to say anything. Your choice and it sounds like you made the best one for both you and the baby

I would be telling both of them to piss off

A baby needs more than just nutrients and having an unhappy mum means that breastfeeding was not the best for your baby and formula was better. Your MIL doesn't seem to understand this, just ignore her.

You're not in the wrong. It's none of her business and a very hurtful thing to comment about.

(You did really well to get to 2 months btw!)

If formula didn’t contain the right nutrients it wouldn’t be on sale

Agree with @etiinox why would he pass that on to you? It might have been a passing comment to him and the only reason he'd tell you is to put more pressure on you. I'd be more annoyed with him.

You're doing great, don't listen to them x

My MIL acted like my breastmilk was poisoning DC1, it didn't help my confidence at all.

MIL should keep their snotty opinions to themselves as they are not the DC mum.