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Original poster

New boyfriend - smell

78 replies

Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 09:44

I started seeing a lovely guy recently. All going well except he sometimes smells very sweaty when I’m near him. I’m trying to think of a way of telling him without hurting his feelings - which seems impossible. Any ideas?

OP posts:
RuthTopp · 31/08/2021 09:47

If you really fancied him , a slight smell would be sexy ( hormones )
But an obvious he hasn't washed, old sweat smell is just down to bad hygiene, and a big turn off.

Suprima · 31/08/2021 09:50

I’m sure lots of people will say he has a medical condition or suggest shower sex Envy (not envy) but if he is really lovely, he will be able to take it if you tell him frankly that he smells like BO and ask him how often does he shower?

If he gets defensive- he isn’t lovely and doesn’t wash. Not really a goer, is it?

Marineboy67 · 31/08/2021 10:07

I'd just say when sitting next to him ' Blimey is that me' he'll say what? 'That smell' lift your pits and sniff and ask him if he can smell it! If it's not you it's got to be him. Best way to directly/indirectly deal with it!

LindaEllen · 31/08/2021 10:11

DP and I just tell each other if we think the other smells a bit sweaty/has bad breath etc. I mean, id rather know! I am really busy during the day so do sometimes get a bit sweaty, but sometimes you just can't smell it on yourself.

Purplealienpuke · 31/08/2021 10:13

How new is the relationship?
Are you intimate yet?
And unwashed man would be a real turn off for me in the bedroom (especially in a new relationship)
I think you have to tell him, honesty is the best policy. Start as you mean to go on....

Pinkbonbon · 31/08/2021 10:17

I'd just be like 'dude you need a shower'. Fuck tact.

Tbh though, why doesn't he shower before coming to see you? Does he dress scaffy too? I'd be questioning his respect levels.

readingismycardio · 31/08/2021 10:21

@Pinkbonbon

I'd just be like 'dude you need a shower'. Fuck tact.

Tbh though, why doesn't he shower before coming to see you? Does he dress scaffy too? I'd be questioning his respect levels.

This.
MooBoom · 31/08/2021 10:21

Tricky one for a new relationship. You don’t wanna come across as rude so I’d be careful on how you word it.

Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:23

Thanks for all the replies so far.
@Pinkbonbon- Impossible to know if he showers before seeing me but he always dresses smartly

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 31/08/2021 10:23

How new is your relationship op? Is it just Bo or does he look grubby in general?

Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:24

@MooBoom exactly. I really like him (doesn’t happen often!) but obviously this issue needs addressing. I really don’t want to offend him

OP posts:
TheWeatherWitch · 31/08/2021 10:25

If he stinks at this stage of dating, he’s only going to get worse in time!

Give it a few more months and he’ll be ok wearing two week old socks and pants. By Christmas he’ll be wearing food stained tee-shirts and stinking.

He will not improve.

Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:26

@cushioncovers - only seen him a few times. Just the smell , definitely not grubby in general.

OP posts:
Beamur · 31/08/2021 10:26

I think this would put me off for good!

Walkingalot · 31/08/2021 10:37

Act like you've just noticed. Say something like 'oh, you smell a bit sweaty, have you been running/rushing about?'

Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:45

@Walkingalot that’s a good idea. Though I think I might mention it before we next get together. Just sling the line of “I noticed last time…”

OP posts:
Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:45

Just along the line of “I noticed a bit of a smell last time….”

OP posts:
Noshowwithoutpunch · 31/08/2021 10:48

Oh no don't mention you noticed a smell last time or he'll know you've been dwelling on it and thinking about bringing it up.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 31/08/2021 10:52

He might have fastidious hygiene but is he washing or drying his clothes properly?
That could also be the cause of the stink.

Original poster
Nightmare70 · 31/08/2021 10:59

@Noshowwithoutpunch why does that matter?

OP posts:
SusannahSophia · 31/08/2021 11:09

Is it more likely to be clothes and poor deodorant than a lack of showering? Fresh sweat isn’t normally smelly.

RantyAunty · 31/08/2021 11:14

No way. This is supposed to be him at is best trying to impress you.
There are some men that won't wear deodorant.

Walkingalot · 31/08/2021 11:15

OP - you didn't want to hurt his feelings - so if you mention it before you see him then he'll know you've been thinking about it!

Pinkbonbon · 31/08/2021 11:16

No definately dont tell him he smelled last time lol. Just if it happens again, straight up tell him he needs a shower.

Noshowwithoutpunch · 31/08/2021 11:33

[quote Nightmare70]@Noshowwithoutpunch why does that matter?[/quote]

  1. He'll likely be mortified that you sat there smelling him and didn't say anything.
  2. He'll never know how bad the smell last time was and will ruminate endlessly.
  3. He'll relive the whole date analysing how he sat/ did he lift his arm?/ did he sit too close?.
  4. He'll be reading things in to how you sat/what you said etc on your last date looking for clues that you thought he stunk.
  5. He'll be wondering who else he encountered who could also have got a whiff.