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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you have fun with your husband?

87 replies

wooopdawoop · 28/08/2021 22:36

Do you enjoy your husbands company and actually have fun together? We married for practical reasons after I fell pregnant with DS a year into our relationship, we’ve been married for 3 years and both early 30’s. He’s a good person but our relationship is so dull we hardly ever laugh and joke together and I’m starting to feel that I don’t enjoy his company (when he is actually at home that is as he works long hours / borderline workaholic). He works, watches sport, eats and sleeps so I feel like he never has the energy to put any effort into our relationship.

I love a good laugh and luckily have friends and family I can share that side with but it would be nice to occasionally have that with DH.

OP posts:

hopeishere · 28/08/2021 22:38

Do you go on dates or family trips out?

There's a lot of mundane in our relationship but we have fun on holiday and at the weekends.

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 28/08/2021 22:56

No at the minute I feel like a cross between his sister or his mother,It is so boring.

BaringasMare · 28/08/2021 22:59

Yes. He’s my best pal and the person I would choose to hang out with every time. I really feel for you - I can’t imagine how hard it is to not have that with your spouse

soupmaker · 28/08/2021 23:04

Yes. We laugh every day. We have fun most weekends with the kids. We love being in each other's company.

LubaLuca · 28/08/2021 23:05

Yes, we went to a pop music quiz this evening and had a really good laugh together. Neither of us is particularly fun by anyone's standards, but we're a good match and still find ways to make each other laugh.

Obviously most of our life together is dull and uneventful, but we go out a couple of evenings a week just to break the 'TV then bed' routine.

UserNameNameNameUser · 28/08/2021 23:12

I think you need to find a way to date him.

RagzReturnsRebooted · 28/08/2021 23:12

Not really. Though he is severely depressed, so he doesn't have fun with anyone. Occasionally, yes, but not day to day. We were on holiday last week and I arranged fun activities/meals out with the DCs and he said he enjoyed them, but if I hadn't he'd have sat around looking at his phone and ignoring us.
Most evenings, unless we're addicted to a series that we binge together, we are in separate parts of the house with me reading and him either on his phone or watching TV. His depression is stopping him from working so as well as being a drain to around I have the added strain of the (probably undeserving) resentment of being financially responsible for us all as well as being in charge of every aspect of our lives. Not much room for fun!

A bit like you, OP, we got married because we had children. I got pregnant before we were even a couple and then pregnant again soon after and ended up married at 23 and 3rd child (again unplanned) at 24. We've been married 12 years. I kind of regret the getting married part as financially I have a higher income and better earning potential and a better pension provision so I'll be carrying him financially and if we divorce I'd lose out.

Sorry, that was long! Didn't mean to hijack, but feels good to let that truth out!

Roonilwazlib1 · 28/08/2021 23:15

Yes - been together 13 years (but only married for 2)

Obviously not every single day is full of laughs and comedy as we all have stressors in life but the vast majority of the time yes. We laugh, joke, have so many inside jokes, mess about etc together.

ComeonJulia · 28/08/2021 23:17

Yes! Very cringe but he is my best friend. I love spending time with him. He makes me laugh so much, we have the same sense of humour and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

It must be shit OP, I feel for you. Could you try dating him more?

Bookaholic73 · 28/08/2021 23:19

Yes, definitely!
We go hiking and surfing, as well as other fun stuff.

I couldn’t be in a relationship where we didn’t have fun.

LBOCS2 · 28/08/2021 23:19

Yes, we do - I mean, the day to day is us talking about organising school uniforms and whose turn it is to take the bins out and making sure we've got an Ocado booked.

But when we have time to be us again, we have a laugh. We still enjoy going out together - gigs, meals, nights out occasionally! And try and prioritise that.

Benjispruce5 · 28/08/2021 23:24

Married 25 years. Yes, he’s the person I laugh most with. We share a sense of humour and he’s very quick witted. Of course,everyone goes through more tricky times when we’re busy with work or children. Perhaps try to make some time to do think together. Go and see a show, a gig or a comedian that you both like.

Blerg · 28/08/2021 23:24

Yes, things have been tense lately because of stuff going on, but we still find stuff to chat and laugh about. Or shows to watch together.

I think it easy to get into a rut if both working all the time it doing separate things in the evening. I always say we are only allowed one tv so we can’t drift apart like our parents have.

Goldbar · 28/08/2021 23:27

My DH is a complete workaholic so I have sympathy with you. He is also 'present but absent' when he is around... checking his email, thinking about work etc.

But we have a good quality of life enabled mostly by him working very hard and he helps at home and takes our DC out frequently at weekends and during holidays to bond with them and give me some time alone. And occasionally when we share a joke or are discussing something together, I get a glimpse of him amongst all the drudgery and disconnect and I think, "There you are again". It doesn't happen all that often though as we've fallen out of the habit of prioritising each other and our relationship.

Halloaten · 28/08/2021 23:29

Never. He's the most miserable twat to ever have walked the earth.

MrsM2021 · 28/08/2021 23:36

Yes - not always on the hard days but I don’t really remember them after the fact. We’re always laughing together, I find him hilarious: I’m also early 30s and he’s my second husband. My first husband didn’t make me laugh at all and because of that, there was no joy.
I personally couldn’t live like that but I also have a DD so understand why you would if you have children.

icedcoffees · 28/08/2021 23:49

Yes. Even on the days he drives me mad we always manage to have fun!

We go out for meals, take the dog for walks, sit and watch trashy TV together or repeats of Top Gear

We travel, explore, laugh and have a fantastic time. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather do life with.

MiddlesexGirl · 28/08/2021 23:53

Yes lots of fun.
But I don't love him any more and that's not much fun.
The grass isn't always greener .....

LuluJakey1 · 28/08/2021 23:54

Yes. We didn't get together until we were 29. We are 42 now and have been married for 11 years. 3 DC - all under 7. We just like each other and being together. Probably do things lots of people wouldn't find fun but we do - we do lots of walking, go out for a meal or to the pub once a week or so, cook together, play cards, go to the cinema, sit in the garden with a drink, listen to music-have a dance. We discuss lots of things - politics, history, art, films, books, nature. He makes me laugh- he's clever but daft.He makes the DC laugh too and has lots of fun with them. PIL live near us and love babysitting. Do you need some time just to enjoy yourselves?
He drives me mad as well and lots of life is routine but I'll stick to just the nice bits here.

EarthSight · 29/08/2021 00:00

You've forgotten your namechange OP.

Silkiescatz · 29/08/2021 00:07

We have fun together, married 20 plus years, today been kayaking together, walking together and we laugh a fair bit together. We discuss the children, each others days, the kids, current events and that helps build a bond. Its certainly not all fun but I would discuss this with and try and find a solution, maybe organise some trips out and see if that helps.

Comedycook · 29/08/2021 00:10

We don't go out and have fun just us much due to work/kids...but we laugh a lot and we both take the mick out of ourselves and each other

Kayemm · 29/08/2021 00:20

We are sat at either end of a couch each with drink and a book debating an original vs cover playlist he has found. We are on our holidays.

Fun? God yes! I could not be happier or more content. I'm with the right person for me but appreciate life is based on different strokes for different folks. Do you have the same idea of fun?

Hellotoallmyfans · 29/08/2021 00:30

I alternate between finding him very funny and wanting to throttle him! It's not always great and sometimes I find him very trying but generally I would say I still find him funny and he makes me laugh. That's probably why we're still together!

I couldn't be with someone who was miserable or boring - there has to be some common interests and laughter otherwise what's the point?

Crunched · 29/08/2021 00:32

If you are not having the odd laugh together with a toddler around - cos after all, a little person wobbling along and finding pretty ordinary things hilarious- I don't hold out much hope for the future. A stressed teen can suck the joy out of many a family weekend.
I have been married over 30 years and DH can make me laugh to the point of tears, and vice versa. We can also annoy each other intensely, but no, things are never dull.

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