Do you have fun with your husband?

[wooopdawoop]

Do you enjoy your husbands company and actually have fun together? We married for practical reasons after I fell pregnant with DS a year into our relationship, we’ve been married for 3 years and both early 30’s. He’s a good person but our relationship is so dull we hardly ever laugh and joke together and I’m starting to feel that I don’t enjoy his company (when he is actually at home that is as he works long hours / borderline workaholic). He works, watches sport, eats and sleeps so I feel like he never has the energy to put any effort into our relationship.

I love a good laugh and luckily have friends and family I can share that side with but it would be nice to occasionally have that with DH.

Yes but since we divorced a few years ago, we are Co-parenting well and are friends again (we started as friends) and enjoy each other's company again now!
Probably not the answer you were after!!

I have been married for 22 years and together 24 years. Every relationship has its ups and downs but we do still make each other laugh sometimes and I also find him annoying sometimes.

I did, we would go away for the weekend on a whim, or a day out, or a picnic - but even just staying in was enjoyable, we always made each other laugh. I miss him. I couldn't have been with someone who I didn't enjoy the company of.

@RagzReturnsRebooted

Not really. Though he is severely depressed, so he doesn't have fun with anyone. Occasionally, yes, but not day to day. We were on holiday last week and I arranged fun activities/meals out with the DCs and he said he enjoyed them, but if I hadn't he'd have sat around looking at his phone and ignoring us. Most evenings, unless we're addicted to a series that we binge together, we are in separate parts of the house with me reading and him either on his phone or watching TV. His depression is stopping him from working so as well as being a drain to around I have the added strain of the (probably undeserving) resentment of being financially responsible for us all as well as being in charge of every aspect of our lives. Not much room for fun!

A bit like you, OP, we got married because we had children. I got pregnant before we were even a couple and then pregnant again soon after and ended up married at 23 and 3rd child (again unplanned) at 24. We've been married 12 years. I kind of regret the getting married part as financially I have a higher income and better earning potential and a better pension provision so I'll be carrying him financially and if we divorce I'd lose out.

Sorry, that was long! Didn't mean to hijack, but feels good to let that truth out!

I feel for you. Is he getting treatment for the depression? I have a lot of sympathy for depression (had it myself for decades) but only if the person makes it their life's work to get better again. You can't just wallow your life away.

He needs to create a programme of medication, therapy, self help, loads of exercise, healthy diet, low alcohol, no recreational drugs and doing something new or taking a small (safe) risk every day to get himself functioning again.

Yes, he's my best friend and given the choice he's the first person I'd pick to spend time with. We proper belly laugh in a regular basis.

DH and I together for quite a number of years now, and yes I feel the fun has gone out of our relationship. Funnily enough though, we always have a great chat and laugh when speaking to each other on the phone. Can't explain it.

Halloaten 😂😂wasn’t expecting that!!
My ex used to fall asleep at 9pm on the couch every night!! Usually after choosing something HE wanted to watch and hogging the remote.
Those with good husbands/wives are partners are very fortunate.

Yes lots of fun. We would both rather spend time together than with anyone else.

We have been married 40 years and he can still make me laugh until I cry.

We can both annoy the other but the good times outweigh the bad massively.

We go to the cinema fairly regularly, go out for meals (and chat more or less non stop throughout), take our dogs for walks together, go to National Trust and English Heritage places, go to open gardens.

At home we share a lot of the same interests - F1, cooking, foreign crime programmes.

DH works (I am retired) but we make the most of his days off and evenings. We always spend the evenings together, sometimes watching tv, sometimes chatting, sometimes on our laptops, sometimes doing a jigsaw.

Yes
DH and I have been through the worst of situations together, ( he supported me through the worst times)
We laugh together a lot. We also go on nights out and holidays just the two of us.

Yes - he makes me laugh so much. We can sit and talk rubbish and laugh for hours.

I couldn't be with somebody I couldn't laugh with.

When it’s just the two of us in the evening or when we have time alone, yes. We both have fun and laugh with each other.

When it’s the humdrum of family life where there’s constant chores to do or a dependent to take care of then no. We’re both snappy.

It's hard, people are expected to work and work and work. Plus once you start doing overtime it's hard to go back to your basic wage. I got in to a cycle myself. In the end I changed jobs and got a salary increase so that I felt less compelled to work extra or weekends.

I guess he would have time for you but when you work so long he probably does his own thing as a way to wind down from working so much. We all need a lone time even the most extroverted person does.

I think you need to get it across to him that he needs to make more time for you. Perhaps try and assign a day for a date. Once a week. If you don't keep working at any relationship it can easily become mundane or boring at some point. When was the last time you genuinely had time a lone? You shouldn't have to wait until he has annual leave for him to show you the love and respect you asked for at marriage.

The effort needs to come from him here and he needs to probably compromise on the work side. Hard to get someone to change. Just remind him how good it was with you two alone without the distractions of friends, family or the kids.

Not at all.

But I have lots of friends that I laugh with.

Different people bring different things to my life. My DH provides security and someone to look after me when I’m indisposed.

He makes me laugh every single day and we've been together over 20 years. He's always been good company though and we like doing enough things together to have something to talk about. We generally have a 5 year plan we're working towards too. So, currently working towards a house move to a whole new area. It gives us something to talk about too and it's nice to feel we're working together.

Yes. Even after more than 20 years together. He's the person I most enjoy being with. He's kind and funny and we share the same sense of humour and enjoy the same kind of activities.

He's my best friend and the love of my life.

I do think it’s important to have laughter and fun in a relationship. I am on my third (and final husband). There wasn’t much laughter with the previous ones. My current DH and I have lived together for 13 years, married for 6. We love each other, have chemistry and are also great friends. We laugh together every day.

Absolutely. No-one makes me laugh as much as DP. He's the most fun I can have. 24 years together.

Yes. He's hilarious and often makes me laugh til I cry. Absolutely my favourite person to spend time with and I really struggle on weekends when we don't have at least one day entirely to ourselves... I hope it never changes.

Mine made me laugh until I was sick last night.
This is the major difference I see between posters who either married their best friend, or who marries for convenience. I don’t think a marriage of convenience is ever going to be a great long lasting thing.

Yes, we've had to find some middle ground because we are actually very different people with different interests on the whole, but we make most of the interests that overlap. If you don't have common ground, find some! I have to admit this has gotten easier as we've gotten older with more disposable income because typically our common ground isn't cheap!

In terms of laughter joy etc yes absolutely, couldn't bear the thought of being with someone who couldn't make me laugh or who I couldn't joke around with, most of the day is spent teasing each other. He's the one person in the world I always want to be with.

Spouse and I have a routine every evening - after kids in bed we cook dinner whilst totally taking the mickey out of each other. Anything goes. Then we eat our delicious dinners in front of usually some form of gripping crime/thriller series. At around 930, I feel the need to recline on the sofa with my head on his chest. At this point I require a head and hand rub. After this I fail to recollect much but around 1030 I go up to bed and he accompanies me and we play parlour games in bed - namely 20 questions and A to Z - I notably NEVER win these as I always fall asleep halfway. At the end of both of us working FT work days and having 2 small ones and a chaotic dog - This is our routine and I find it incredible that it’s been this way for 8 years now….

Absolutely, we have been married 27years and he still make me laugh every day, he is the most positive, fun person I know. My best friend.

@Hellotoallmyfans what you have said sums up me and DH as well. On a good day he is very funny and I enjoy the fact he still makes the effort to entertain me after all the very long years we have been together.

I didn't with my ex husband. He'd often tell me I wasn't funny if I made a witty quip about something or was being silly.

My fiancé thankfully thinks I'm very funny and we laugh a lot, even if to people who are looking on think we're being ridiculous, it's funny to us.

I didn't realise how much of a difference it made to a relationship to actually laugh and enjoy each other on that level.