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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dinner dispute

102 replies

JLA1980 · 24/08/2021 13:06

I would really like some advice about whether I’m being unreasonable.

My OH and I aren’t in a particularly happy place at the moment. He has his own issues with me but for my part I feel under appreciated all the time. An example of this is an argument which has arisen today.

I am a stay at home mum after I gave up my career to be at home for the kids. I accept that as a SAHM my role includes maintaining the house, cleaning, cooking etc. But I literally do all of it.

I do all the cooking which I am ok with but my OH moans about the food I cook - it’s 95% scratch cooked, healthy meals. There are some meals which I make because our children like them - but which he doesn’t like. This represents maybe 1 meal every 1-2 weeks and on those occasions I always offer to make him something separate.

He says to me that I should be making all meals for him - I.e. to his taste and that a real woman in a relationship would want to cater to his needs and wants. I pointed out to him that this would mean the kids missing a favourite meal as I wouldn’t make that any more and he said that doesn’t matter.

He says that if I can’t cook what he likes all the time what am I to him.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is an ungrateful attitude. I never expect him to cook for us, just not to complain about what I do cook and to make out like I do nothing for him. I cook for the family, which includes him but is not exclusively him.

This may seem really trivial but it’s an attitude that cuts through many issues in our relationship

Any thoughts or advice would be really gratefully received - either way :-) x

OP posts:
Mother87 · 26/08/2021 13:59

@BeauxRingarde

a real woman in a relationship would want to cater to his needs and wants

Tell him you're a fake woman, and like all the rest of us fake women, think he's a total twat.

This👍🏻
Mother87 · 26/08/2021 14:00

@billy1966

You gave up a career for this twat🙄

Go back to work asap.

And this👍🏻
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