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Original poster

That sentence at the start of an email!

158 replies

Notradespeopleareavailable · 12/08/2021 10:55

Whenever I receive an email in work or professional capacity, I always know from the first sentence that something is expected of me (eg either to do an unscheduled piece of work, or something has happened that is going to result in a bill / or friend wants a favour doing). The sentence is -

Hi Notrades, I hope you're well?

Personally I wish everyone would ditch this faux concern opener and just get straight to the point in their emails / texts. I avoid the 'are you well' question and maybe some people think I'm quite rude (or abrupt).

Which approach would you prefer?

OP posts:
ExpressDelivery · 12/08/2021 10:57

It's better than the one a colleague uses whenever she's sending something she suspects the recipient won't receive well.

Whenever she sends an unreasonable request, the email ends xxx

Urgh

Durbeyfield · 12/08/2021 10:58

I agree with you OP.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 12/08/2021 10:58

It's just a social niecety.

A bit like asking "how are you" when you see someone you know.

Original poster
Notradespeopleareavailable · 12/08/2021 10:59

xxx ha ha! That too.

OP posts:
ExpressDelivery · 12/08/2021 11:00

I can't bring myself to put these "nice" lines I don't mean into business emails, but I'm also aware that my emails can seem very abrupt. I'm not sure which way is nest TBH

DogGoneCrazyNow · 12/08/2021 11:02

I wish people would stop all that stuff. That goes for "how are you" when you're not really asking too. I get quite confused by all that sort of stuff and it's landed me in odd situations. Makes me avoid people I don't know well for safety's sake.

Justforphoto · 12/08/2021 11:02

Same with unsolicited callers to the house, as soon as they say "how are you today" I know all they want is money. It's about engaging in a conversation to make it harder to say no. My default is to think no as soon as someone says it.

UnsuitableHat · 12/08/2021 11:03

It can be a bit fake but it’s part of communication etiquette I guess - maybe tries to make the reader feel less threatened by what will follow. A bit like saying ‘I’m sorry to bother you’ before asking a question.

tiredofthisshit21 · 12/08/2021 11:06

I don't have a problem with it and I think it makes emails less abrupt. Absolutely not to the kisses though - urgh. Not professional.

pembelimum · 12/08/2021 11:06

Interesting take. I actually appreciate it when people bother to put niceties in their work emails. Either a 'I hope you're well' and/or 'kind regards' etc at the end. It irks me when they don't. Email is impersonal enough but I feel like manners can help soften that. It takes a few seconds to type. Also hate it when the email is a request and they don't bother to write 'please'.

pembelimum · 12/08/2021 11:08

Absolutely agree on kisses though - not appropriate at work. And I don't ever want to see a smiley face emoji from somebody I don't know pretty well (ie. well enough to go to the pub with).

Original poster
Notradespeopleareavailable · 12/08/2021 11:11

@pembelimum

Interesting take. I actually appreciate it when people bother to put niceties in their work emails. Either a 'I hope you're well' and/or 'kind regards' etc at the end. It irks me when they don't. Email is impersonal enough but I feel like manners can help soften that. It takes a few seconds to type. Also hate it when the email is a request and they don't bother to write 'please'.
I always put in a greeting in my emails eg 'Hi' and finish with 'kind regards' or something similar. And I will always use please and thank people where you'd expect. But the ' I hope you are wells' I can do without.
OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 12/08/2021 11:22

I always do put hope you’re well in routine emails.

If the email is urgent and I need it actioned immediately I just get straight to the point.

I have a pretty good relationship with colleagues they know I’ll prioritise their requests when they have something urgent to be dealt with are happy to reciprocate.
Normally the more routine emails will turn chatty and we’d talk about other stuff too whilst I sort out their request or they sort out mine.

Our company is fairly small though and I know the people I communicate with fairly well.

ComtesseDeSpair · 12/08/2021 11:22

I think it’s both cultural and gendered. British people, and particularly British women, are conditioned to not to impose upon other people or, if you have to, to be incredibly apologetic and slightly effacing about it.

The following exchanges are, almost to the word, the two requests I received from a male, American colleague and a female, British colleague, neither of whom I know better than the other, earlier this week:

“Comtesse,

I’m looking for the August progress report on data pipeline issues. Do you have it? If so, can you send it over.

Frank.”

Versus…

“Hi Comtesse!

I hope you’re well and readjusting after getting back from your leave? I’m sorry to be a pest and bother you when you’re no doubt catching up on your inbox, but I wondered if you knew where the August progress report on data pipeline issues Is, and if you could please possibly send it over to me when you get a little chance? Thank-you so much, I really appreciate it.

Best wishes,

Kate“

I’ve learned not to find the first offensive over time; and I generally subscribe to the belief that people communicating with you however they feel most comfortable tends to get things done more quickly however it happens.

HumunaHey · 12/08/2021 11:28

I put that line in when I haven't spoke to a person for a while. Not as a precursor to asking for something. It's a bit weird if someone was to put that an email to someone they just spoke to at the printer.

FizzyPink · 12/08/2021 11:28

I actually do this a lot but use a question mark at the end. It’s surprising how many people do actually respond telling me a bit about their weekend or whatever and ask how I am as well.
It’s a nice way of building a relationship with people who you don’t often meet in person. I do work in sales though so perhaps some people do find it annoying!

SquirrelFan · 12/08/2021 11:34

I use the I hope you are well all the time! Especially if it's been a while since I have communicated with the person. (Actually, in that case, I say, "I hope this email finds you well.") Because I do!
If it's someone I see every week, then no, just the request/information.

AppleKatie · 12/08/2021 11:36

I agree it’s disingenuous 9/10- I always answer when I know they don’t care- petty but satisfying to waste 10 secs of their day whilst they read it 😂

MeridasMum · 12/08/2021 11:39

I was promoted into a senior management position a few years ago and struggled with this type of thing at first. Like many of us, I had (have? Hmmm) imposter syndrome and worried how previous peers would take my 'instructions' and how new peers would view me.

Re-reading some old 'sent items' has me cringing! I sound needy and unconfident (I was!!).

My emails now are much more authoritative, straight to the point with the odd personal comment but only when appropriate.

When I see similar emails from colleagues, I am so tempted to give them feedback but I never would (unless they asked me)

PineappleSun · 12/08/2021 11:40

I'm with you OP, I've recently started a new job where it seems expected to start emails this way regardless of how many times you've already spoken to that person in that same day! I hate writing 'the sentence' and would much sooner just get to the point, seems so cringy to me.

Killeditwithkisses · 12/08/2021 11:49

I would only write it if I am genuinely interested in hearing if the person is well...and if I haven't spoken to them in a while.

The phrase that really bugs me is "Trust you are well" . To me that just says 'I'm not interested in the answer, but feel I need an opener to my email'

blobby10 · 12/08/2021 11:55

Yes It annoys me too! And when I get a cold call at work and they start with 'how are you today?'. If I'm in a bad mood I usually answer with "Why? What are you selling?"!

One that really grates on me is "Stay Safe" in the sign off Angry

gannett · 12/08/2021 11:57

@HumunaHey

I put that line in when I haven't spoke to a person for a while. Not as a precursor to asking for something. It's a bit weird if someone was to put that an email to someone they just spoke to at the printer.
Same.

It's also not disingenuous because I do hope they're well in an abstract way.

The unspoken bit of the sentence is "hope you're well (because it's been so long since we spoke that I don't know how you're doing)".

I don't consider this an example of women using softer/more apologetic language (@ComtesseDeSpair's comparisons are better). I receive "hope you're well" as an opener from both men and women who haven't touched base with me in a while.

Tying yourself in knots to use soft language with colleagues you see every day is a different matter.

tanstaafl · 12/08/2021 11:59

www.nohello.com

Perhaps it relates more to online chat though ?

bigbaggyeyes · 12/08/2021 12:04

I'm a supplier and only ever put 'I hope you are well' to customers I like and who I know will tell he how they are, what they've been up to (and no, I'm not in sales either)