That sentence at the start of an email!

[Notradespeopleareavailable]

Whenever I receive an email in work or professional capacity, I always know from the first sentence that something is expected of me (eg either to do an unscheduled piece of work, or something has happened that is going to result in a bill / or friend wants a favour doing). The sentence is -

Hi Notrades, I hope you're well?

Personally I wish everyone would ditch this faux concern opener and just get straight to the point in their emails / texts. I avoid the 'are you well' question and maybe some people think I'm quite rude (or abrupt).

Which approach would you prefer?

I have a senior colleague who messages me on Teams and says 'Hi Boots', next line 'How are you?'... tumbleweed...wtf do you need from me - spit it out!

I have to reply with 'Hi Dick'head-time-waster to find out what he wants.

Just say 'Hi Boots, l need XYZ, when can you get it for me?'

I use it but only with colleagues that I like

I say “I hope you are well.” Purposefully without the question mark, so we all know it’s politeness not interest in a response.

I use it if I'm emailing a colleague I haven't had any contact with for a while. Not specifically when I'm asking a favour, but most opening emails contain a request of some kind, when you think about it.

I don't think it's faux concern - while the health of my colleagues isn't something I lie awake worrying about, I would rather everything was well for them than otherwise.

I use it but only with those I know and havent seen or spoken to for a while.

I don’t mind getting straight to business otherwise but I do find some emails come across as rude such as ‘Kennel’ as the opener with no Hi, hello or anything! It Drives me crackers

I only ask if I want to know.
For example if I’m emailing one of the consultants that I’ve not seen for a while I’ll ask after them before getting to the point but I wouldn’t start an email to pharmacy in the same way. I don’t know them and they don’t know me.

I’m always polite but don’t feel the need to enquire about a faceless person.

Gosh I did this this morning, wonder if it was to you 😂

I mean it nicely when I write it. 🤷‍♀️

@MeridasMum

I was promoted into a senior management position a few years ago and struggled with this type of thing at first. Like many of us, I had (have? Hmmm) imposter syndrome and worried how previous peers would take my 'instructions' and how new peers would view me.

Re-reading some old 'sent items' has me cringing! I sound needy and unconfident (I was!!).

My emails now are much more authoritative, straight to the point with the odd personal comment but only when appropriate.

When I see similar emails from colleagues, I am so tempted to give them feedback but I never would (unless they asked me)

Oh this is interesting! I have been told I need to be more confident about asking for things I need at work. But I feel so awkward about doing it.

And yes I am a ‘I hope you’re well’ writer. But I think I’ve only started that since the pandemic!

I tend to only do this when it's someone I don't work with regularly, but know.

Wouldn't bother using it at all on someone I wasn't friendly with either, I'd just get to the point.

Surprised that no one has mentioned Covid yet. I use a variation “I hope all is well with you.” For clients I haven’t seen For a while.

Sometimes they come back and tell me they’ve been ill with Covid so good to have asked in the current climate

I don’t think that it’s yours is anything to do with whether The sender wants something or not

Yours? Use

I don't mind it so much in an email, as long as the email gives full details of the request/ information to be conveyed. The niceties don't get in the way of the communication.

I detest Teams/ Skype communication which begins with 'Hi, How are you?'

Just tell me what you want and let's be more efficient. The snappier form of communication doesn't require niceties.

I learned my lesson decades ago when "email" first came out (I'm old). I work in the legal field and emails are produced in lawsuits and these emails full of unnecessary politeness or any extra chatiness are so cringey.

I always imagine my emails blown up to trial exhibit poster size -
"Hope this email finds you well" etc is so cliché and personal information like sickness has no place in a business email. (I text or call if I want to chat-chat.)

Oh and one more thing... "Thank you" emails are not allowed - per a written policy!! Wow.

@ComtesseDeSpair

I think it’s both cultural and gendered. British people, and particularly British women, are conditioned to not to impose upon other people or, if you have to, to be incredibly apologetic and slightly effacing about it.

The following exchanges are, almost to the word, the two requests I received from a male, American colleague and a female, British colleague, neither of whom I know better than the other, earlier this week:

“Comtesse,

I’m looking for the August progress report on data pipeline issues. Do you have it? If so, can you send it over.

Frank.”

Versus…

“Hi Comtesse!

I hope you’re well and readjusting after getting back from your leave? I’m sorry to be a pest and bother you when you’re no doubt catching up on your inbox, but I wondered if you knew where the August progress report on data pipeline issues Is, and if you could please possibly send it over to me when you get a little chance? Thank-you so much, I really appreciate it.

Best wishes,

Kate“

I’ve learned not to find the first offensive over time; and I generally subscribe to the belief that people communicating with you however they feel most comfortable tends to get things done more quickly however it happens.

That email from 'Kate'

Hope...sorry...bother you...wondered...possibly...little chance...

She needs some assertiveness training. I hate receiving emails like this, they sound so ridiculously pleading.

No need to be as abrupt as 'Frank', but those two emails are the extreme ends of the spectrum, aren't they!

I use that kind of opening if i haven't seen or been in contact with anyone for a while. Similarly, hope you had a good weekend, hope you had a good break, etc. Its just politeness . If someone wrote to me, I'd expect it too, and it would feel really abrupt if they just launched into whatever they wanted to say to me.

Wouldn't do it with colleagues who I see or send lots of emails to.

Would never sign off with a kiss unless it's a personal message.

I also have a very formal legal background, and it's taken me years to get away from the Dear.... kind regards format. Saying Hi.... feels really informal to me still!

@ComtesseDeSpair

I think it’s both cultural and gendered. British people, and particularly British women, are conditioned to not to impose upon other people or, if you have to, to be incredibly apologetic and slightly effacing about it.

The following exchanges are, almost to the word, the two requests I received from a male, American colleague and a female, British colleague, neither of whom I know better than the other, earlier this week:

“Comtesse,

I’m looking for the August progress report on data pipeline issues. Do you have it? If so, can you send it over.

Frank.”

Versus…

“Hi Comtesse!

I hope you’re well and readjusting after getting back from your leave? I’m sorry to be a pest and bother you when you’re no doubt catching up on your inbox, but I wondered if you knew where the August progress report on data pipeline issues Is, and if you could please possibly send it over to me when you get a little chance? Thank-you so much, I really appreciate it.

Best wishes,

Kate“

I’ve learned not to find the first offensive over time; and I generally subscribe to the belief that people communicating with you however they feel most comfortable tends to get things done more quickly however it happens.

Kate sounds really timid and grovelly. It's possible to write something in between Kate and Frank. I'm senior in my company and I've learned that people do really get worried if you aren't relatively friendly in an email.

I say 'I hope you're well' when it's someone I like but haven't seen or communicated with in a while. It's polite and genuine. It's a very niche thing to be annoyed by!

Absolutely no to xxxx also to emojis (with the exception of a couple of colleagues I'm friendly with and it's usually an end of the week / inside joke scenario).

But a bit of politeness does a long way to oil the wheeles. Takes less than a second to type / read. If you bumped in to that person in the corridor would you say 'Hi how are you?' - if so why is it so wrong in an email?

I use that kind of opener only for someone I don't speak to often. But instead of a question I put it as a sentence: I hope everything is ok with you and your family (for example). No need to answer

I always put this in emails at the moment - most of the people I communicate with are internal and I haven't seen a lot of them since before the first lockdown. So, I genuinely mean it!

@layladomino

I say 'I hope you're well' when it's someone I like but haven't seen or communicated with in a while. It's polite and genuine. It's a very niche thing to be annoyed by!

Absolutely no to xxxx also to emojis (with the exception of a couple of colleagues I'm friendly with and it's usually an end of the week / inside joke scenario).

But a bit of politeness does a long way to oil the wheeles. Takes less than a second to type / read. If you bumped in to that person in the corridor would you say 'Hi how are you?' - if so why is it so wrong in an email?

Yes, 'hi how are you?' is fine when you bump into someone you know. But if I'm approached by a stranger, I hate this familiarity (especially as they're probably trying to flog me something).

I think my objection to the ' I hope you are well' (especially when there's a question mark with it) sounds a bit needy. Also, I'm sure most people don't give a toss if you're actually well or not - as long as you are well enough to respond to their email!

@ComtesseDeSpair

I think it’s both cultural and gendered. British people, and particularly British women, are conditioned to not to impose upon other people or, if you have to, to be incredibly apologetic and slightly effacing about it.

The following exchanges are, almost to the word, the two requests I received from a male, American colleague and a female, British colleague, neither of whom I know better than the other, earlier this week:

“Comtesse,

I’m looking for the August progress report on data pipeline issues. Do you have it? If so, can you send it over.

Frank.”

Versus…

“Hi Comtesse!

I hope you’re well and readjusting after getting back from your leave? I’m sorry to be a pest and bother you when you’re no doubt catching up on your inbox, but I wondered if you knew where the August progress report on data pipeline issues Is, and if you could please possibly send it over to me when you get a little chance? Thank-you so much, I really appreciate it.

Best wishes,

Kate“

I’ve learned not to find the first offensive over time; and I generally subscribe to the belief that people communicating with you however they feel most comfortable tends to get things done more quickly however it happens.

Spot on

I do prefer Kate but I also understand Frank, and am occasionally Frank but prefer not to be

@pembelimum

Interesting take. I actually appreciate it when people bother to put niceties in their work emails. Either a 'I hope you're well' and/or 'kind regards' etc at the end. It irks me when they don't. Email is impersonal enough but I feel like manners can help soften that. It takes a few seconds to type. Also hate it when the email is a request and they don't bother to write 'please'.

Yes this. A colleague of mine writes emails to me like this:

Biscuits,
Do xyz
(Colleague’s name)

I initially found it quite abrupt but I’ve got used to it now, although I do like the niceties, it’s how you’d talk in person to a colleague I think.

However, I actually watched a video recently about how women feel they need to write a certain way as not to come across as aggressive, it included phrases such as “sorry to bother you” and smiley faces. I think the video ended with this phrase “am I sorry to bother you or am I just a woman writing an email” 🤣

A grad has started in our team and it does make me smile as he writes emails like you’d write a text.
e.g. “Here is the form” no hello Biscuits and no sign off or anything 🤣

I once had a senior manager complain to my line manager because I went straight to a question and didn't even as how he was 🤷‍♂️

@Justforphoto

Same with unsolicited callers to the house, as soon as they say "how are you today" I know all they want is money. It's about engaging in a conversation to make it harder to say no. My default is to think no as soon as someone says it.

How are you today gets the phone put down on them in this house. Along with people using my name as they talk. It's salesperson talk and I don't know who they thing they are kidding. Ex was a salesman and they were taught to do all those things as 'relationship building'. It just makes me want to tell them to fuck off. So yes, I'm with you OP!