That sentence at the start of an email!

[Notradespeopleareavailable]

Whenever I receive an email in work or professional capacity, I always know from the first sentence that something is expected of me (eg either to do an unscheduled piece of work, or something has happened that is going to result in a bill / or friend wants a favour doing). The sentence is -

Hi Notrades, I hope you're well?

Personally I wish everyone would ditch this faux concern opener and just get straight to the point in their emails / texts. I avoid the 'are you well' question and maybe some people think I'm quite rude (or abrupt).

Which approach would you prefer?

Not really it’s just a how’s the weather thing isn’t it and I have better things to worry about than how emails are composed to me.

When you get 100+ emails a day then you really want to be able to tell what an email is about from the first sentence.

Starting with ‘I hope you are well’ just adds extra junk at the start and gets in the way of what the email is about.

Plus if you’re NOT well (eg through stuff outside of work) then it’s really aggravating to have people ask with no intention of hearing about what’s really going on in your life.

Agreed.

I also hate ... as per... (very rude)
Gentle reminder (also rude)
Moving forward (annoying)

Having a chronic illness, I really dislike emails which start “hope you’re well”.
I am always tempted to reply “I’m never well, I have a serious chronic illness»

In my head the above is more annoying as going into a clothes shop & being asked «are you ok?», to which I’m tempted to reply «I’m ok, apart from a serious chronic illness «. «Can I help you ?» in this situation is slightly better, although I’m much more likely to stay in the shop, browse and buy something if you leave me alone.

It’s not rude - but you do sound chancel and bitter.

I write this and mean it. I’ll often add something such as did they enjoy their x/y/z, how did their ‘x’ go etc…I take the time and effort to actually care. .

When people write this I always respond as well.

I hate emails which just launch straight into the business without some kind of polite first sentence - they come over as aggressive and pushy to me.

"Kind Regards" really winds me up. It's as if there is a real need for the person contacting you to be kind. Look at me! I'm a kind (aka wonderful) person. And providing this to somebody who obviously needs it.
So, virtue signalling that they are fabulous and patronising in that I need their kindness.
Just fish off x

Much prefer brief and to the point without any preamble and social tics.

@Circe32

"Kind Regards" really winds me up. It's as if there is a real need for the person contacting you to be kind. Look at me! I'm a kind (aka wonderful) person. And providing this to somebody who obviously needs it. So, virtue signalling that they are fabulous and patronising in that I need their kindness. Just fish off x

To be fair, “kind regards” as a communication sign off long precedes “Be Kind” or any suggestion that you’re trying to signal how lovely you are. It’s a formality, as much as if you write “yours sincerely” or “yours faithfully” you probably aren’t actually thinking about coming across as sincere or faithful.

I work for a very small, niche manufacturing company. The only times I get the hope you are well biz is from customer employees that I’ve already built an email relationship with iyswim.

It wouldn’t occur to me to write anything like ‘ I hope you’re well’ in a work email, but I would pretty much always write Hi or hello and sign off with kind or best regards. Just name and thanks or best seems peremptory and I would only do this in certain circumstances. Agree about Teams. Get to the point.

@Circe32

"Kind Regards" really winds me up. It's as if there is a real need for the person contacting you to be kind. Look at me! I'm a kind (aka wonderful) person. And providing this to somebody who obviously needs it. So, virtue signalling that they are fabulous and patronising in that I need their kindness. Just fish off x

This made me laugh. Do you take similar issue with 'yours faithfully'?

I imagine you chuntering along to yourself, 'Fish off with your 'faithfully', I don't need your faithfulness... Grumble mumble grumble'

Life really is too short and they're just being polite. Think of your blood pressure.

Kind regards,

Third Elephant

Interesting all this. I use hope you're well, kind regards, sorry to bother you, don't want to hassle but and all sorts of other niceties in work emails BUT not all the time. I also use the straight to the point approach. I judge the situation, the person I'm emailing, who is cc'd, what the nature of the content is and any number of other things to determine what type of email I write. I also use the occasional emoji (which no doubt is a pet hate with some of you! ).
Can't abide xxx at the end of a work email, though.

Different workplaces have different email cultures. My last place of work was no nonsense - no use of 'dear' or 'hello' or 'hi', just names, and a 'regards' if someone was feeling effusive that day. My current place is all 'I hope you're well' and 'kind regards'. I prefer the former, but I've adjusted to the latter.

When this particular company calls me (I deal with them but only when I need to IYSWIM and have asked them several times not to call me as I know where they are when I want them) and the rep asks me how I am, I say "fine, thank you". I never ask them how they are, as I really do not care and do not want the call anyway. There is always an awkward (for them) pause whilst they presumably wait for me to ask how they are (which i never do), before they get to the point of the call.

Beginning with "I hope you are well" and ending with "regards" are surely just bog standard opening and closing words in an email or letter - it doesn't actually mean anything at all of course, but is just basic ordinary politeness, like Dear sir/madam etc etc

Bloody hell there is no pleasing some folk is there! If you just launch into what you want you get accused of being abrupt and then if you try to be nice and human you get accused of being false. You seriously need to have something more important to worry about OP

I find emails without any niceties a bit brusque.

The worst way to start an email is with “All”. Makes me shudder that one.

Tbf, I usually put “How you doing?” and hope the Joey Tribbiani voice is inferred.

Stop being an arse. It’s just one of many conventional greetings. How OLD are you? In your teens?

Even worse when you email a request to someone without the “I hope you’re well” and they reply with it. Makes me feel a bit guilty for not caring enough to ask them and I think that’s why they do it.

Hahahahaha I almost resist saying 'Hi' - I get straight to it.

How do you ever get to know someone you might be dealing with for years if you don't ask how are you once in a while? I find people who just send abrupt emails dull. They're so self important they've no time to be nice.

My pet hate opening was 'Gents and Taswama',
yeah thanks for singling me out as the only woman on the email!

@Taswama

My pet hate opening was 'Gents and Taswama', yeah thanks for singling me out as the only woman on the email!

It also should surely be, 'Taswama and Gents'.

Ladies first, after all.