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Original poster

That sentence at the start of an email!

158 replies

Notradespeopleareavailable · 12/08/2021 10:55

Whenever I receive an email in work or professional capacity, I always know from the first sentence that something is expected of me (eg either to do an unscheduled piece of work, or something has happened that is going to result in a bill / or friend wants a favour doing). The sentence is -

Hi Notrades, I hope you're well?

Personally I wish everyone would ditch this faux concern opener and just get straight to the point in their emails / texts. I avoid the 'are you well' question and maybe some people think I'm quite rude (or abrupt).

Which approach would you prefer?

OP posts:
TomPinch · 12/08/2021 21:33

Mōrena @Gerwurtztraminer!

I think the risk for British people who move down here is that the niceties make them look obsequious.

But I think "please deal" wouldn't be well regarded here either. "Could you do x" is what I would consider normal.

On a tangent, a lawyer friend of mine worked in London for a bit, and had to learn to use words like "aforesaid" and "wherefore" when drafting legal documents rather than plain English, because it was what the clients expected!

Appleofmyeye05 · 12/08/2021 21:53

This is me!

Hi Apple,

I hope you’re well and have had a nice weekend

Leah2005 · 12/08/2021 22:01

I only started using it when we all started wfh because there were so many people struggling to balance work and home and I never really knew who was well or not. I type my mail now and think ooh better soften that a bit in case this person is having a hard time. I might start easing off now Smile

DuchessOfDisaster · 12/08/2021 22:03

I don't have a problem with this as I write it, but I mean it and I don't use it to get someone to do something for me. Not all the time at least!

TheDistortion · 12/08/2021 22:10

I’m a journalist and I always use it, especially when I am contacting someone out of the blue to ask them something. I mean it though , I do hope they are well, why wouldn’t I? I’ll usually say I hope all is well with you. It’s just a modern version of I hope this finds you well.
A government press officer once told me she preferred me and my team to others because we always asked if they were well in our emails!

Catlover77 · 12/08/2021 22:11

I never ask how people are, it is annoying. Are you actually supposed to respond?

In work you need to get the the point, state what you need and by when

TheDistortion · 12/08/2021 22:12

I tend to overthink my emails so now I have read this thread I will probably stop doing it, since people hate it so much!

TheDistortion · 12/08/2021 22:15

@Catlover77

I never ask how people are, it is annoying. Are you actually supposed to respond?

In work you need to get the the point, state what you need and by when

It’s social small talk isn’t it. It’s really saying “I’m a human not a robot. I recognise you also are a human.” There are people I have never spoken to but contact by email quite regularly for work- we are now on a chatty basis, talking about our holidays etc - if our emails had not been quite warm to start with we wouldn’t be at that point now. It smooths the gears of everyday communication.
Azilliondegrees · 12/08/2021 22:16

I do tend to use a friendly opener in email, but try to keep it both short and personal to the reader. So if they’ve been on leave I will say something about that. If it’s been nice weather I’ll put something about enjoying the sunshine.

I only tend to do it with people I haven’t communicated with recently or don’t know well. With my immediate team who I speak to all day I just ask the direct question.

I tend to do everything that’s off the cuff and completely informal on teams though.

IceLace100 · 12/08/2021 22:19

I much prefer people being direct, HOWEVER, other people might take "please do X by X, thanks" as being blunt or rude.

Skinnytailedsquirrel · 12/08/2021 22:25

I'm completely with you OP. It's fake shite and why would a complete stranger be so intimate with me and expect likewise.

I worked for a company about 10 years ago and was spoken to by one senior person (who I ignored) because I didn't start my emails "Dear......" I think that bollocks has stopped now has it.

rookiemere · 12/08/2021 22:26

I'm not a huge fan of pleasantries unless they're meaningful, so if someone asks me about my holiday happy to respond directly, but I loathe the IMs that run "Hi Rookemere" then "How are you ?" generally from someone I've never met, I tend to respond to the first bit with "Hi how can I help?" to keep it short and sweet.

I'll use Teams for more casual conversation with emojis as I think it's meant to replicate talking to people and is less formal.

NoWordForFluffy · 12/08/2021 22:37

On a tangent, a lawyer friend of mine worked in London for a bit, and had to learn to use words like "aforesaid" and "wherefore" when drafting legal documents rather than plain English, because it was what the clients expected!

You're trained not to use old fashioned English at law school these days. Or we were at Nottingham.

I tend to use frank emails with colleagues and ones with social niceties to clients. Opponent solicitors / insurers get anything between niceties and professionally abrupt, depending on the situation.

IceLace100 · 12/08/2021 22:45

@NoWordForFluffy

On a tangent, a lawyer friend of mine worked in London for a bit, and had to learn to use words like "aforesaid" and "wherefore" when drafting legal documents rather than plain English, because it was what the clients expected!

You're trained not to use old fashioned English at law school these days. Or we were at Nottingham.

I tend to use frank emails with colleagues and ones with social niceties to clients. Opponent solicitors / insurers get anything between niceties and professionally abrupt, depending on the situation.

I was training ten years ago and we were taught to use plain English, same as you.

I'd have been bollocked if I was using antiquated language!

NoWordForFluffy · 12/08/2021 22:52

Yes, I finished law school in 2007. It was drummed into us that most clients don't use antiquated language and wouldn't have a clue what we were banging on about in letters if we used it! I'm actually the go-to solicitor in my firm for explaining legal terms to clients in plain English.

DuchessOfDisaster · 12/08/2021 23:17

What I hate more than this is an email telling you that this is a "polite reminder". As if you don't do whatever it is, the next reminder will be extremely rude.

OaxacaChihuahua · 13/08/2021 07:00

I use it in all my emails, whether I’m asking someone to do something or not. I think it’s polite.

CheesePlantMurderer · 13/08/2021 07:03

I put it but only on emails to colleagues I've known a long time but not had much contact with or seen as I'm almost 18 months into wfh

IHateFlies · 13/08/2021 07:08

My dh has a team abroad that he works with and sometimes they email him ‘dear xx. How are you?’
Then wait for a response, then write back with their query. It drives dh mad and he has to keep telling them to just get to the point in the first email. Grin

MalFunkshun · 13/08/2021 07:30

As long as it’s not a question, I’m fine with it. I use it, but only to people I haven’t spoken to for ages. It shouldn’t EVER be used on IM platforms (a personal bugbear).

For those who don’t like it, if you were to receive an email from someone outside of your org who wanted to introduce themselves and their services, what would you want it to say instead?

chickychicchic · 13/08/2021 07:40

I get told my emails are a abrupt too

I'm not they should be a sandwich

Nice greeting
Nitty gritty
Nice ending

fatvegan · 13/08/2021 07:44

I recently had a whole string of emails with a daughter of one of my clients (am social worker) starting with these polite niceties that from my side were an opener for 'I'm about to tell you something you don't want to hear backed up with legal talk' and hers felt passive aggressive like 'thank you so much for your email (full of shit and I'm now about to argue about it)', always super polite but I could tell she wanted to tell me to stick something where the sun doesn't shine.

Not that I blamed her, I wouldn't want to hear the news I had to impart to her either, and I understood where she was coming from and that she was furious - but she was asking for things that were unlawful.

ThirdElephant · 13/08/2021 07:46

It's just being polite. I appreciate that we seemingly have less and less time for good manners these days, but I don't begrudge the, 'I hope you're well.'

onelittlefrog · 13/08/2021 08:59

I think it's just social etiquette.

You wouldn't just walk up to someone in real life and ask them to do something without a "how are you?"

I think it's a bit too abrupt if you don't say anything, especially if it's a request for them to action something.

If it's someone you email every day then maybe not every single time, but if it's a colleague you have a little less contact with then asking "how are you?" is usually going to go down better than not.

onelittlefrog · 13/08/2021 09:00

@chickychicchic

I get told my emails are a abrupt too

I'm not they should be a sandwich

Nice greeting
Nitty gritty
Nice ending

Yes... that reflects how we are with people in real life so seems appropriate