Page 3 | Husband is an ass!

TheWatersFine · 2021-08-08T13:38:53+00:00

My husband is usually caring and considerate, I am 17 weeks pregnant and last night he annoyed me so much!!! He went out to the pub in the afternoon with his friend to watch sport. He usually gets the last train home when he goes out drinking, so arrives around 12:30am. I went to bed at 10pm and text to say I had set the house alarm, but left the chain off the door. He read it (2 blue ticks) and didn’t reply. I didn’t think anything of it, cos he was out having fun. Until I woke up at 1am with no sign of him, so I just sent a text asking any idea of his ETA? Again, this was read and ignored. I woke up again at 2, with him still not home and started to really worry. So I rang him twice and he didn’t answer and text him, which he again read but didn’t reply. This is so out of character, but I knew he was alive - as he was looking at his phone, so I decided to put the chain on the door, as I had no idea of when he would arrive home and was starting to get quite angry at this point. He eventually knocked the door down at 3:30am. I left him outside for a bit - spiteful I know, but I was angry and upset that he had chosen to ignore my messages. Then when I let him in he called me a bitch and we had a big argument - mainly led by me as he was too drunk to even string a sentence together. He has never done anything like this before, he usually texts to say he’s on his way home and if he’d said he was staying out and when to expect him, I wouldn’t have been so worried. I know I sound pretty needy, but we do live in a city with high knife crime and very recently a family friend went out into the city drinking, was stabbed and died. I have come out shopping for some space today, but I really feel like he needs to be ready to apologise when I get home. He is always saying how he calculates the risk of Covid and possibly bringing it home to me, but I feel like I was the last thing he was thinking of last night. He came in, got right into our bed and lay right on my pregnancy pillow - full of germs- so I went and slept alone in the spare room. I am really upset and angry with his behaviour, which is so out of character and hope this isn’t a sign of his personality changing with me being pregnant/the responsibility of becoming a parent.

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:19

@Sadiecow you've totally assumed she is controlling😂 she didn't throw a tantrum because he went out, she got upset because he was out much much later than usual (middle of the night) with no communication. Who reads messages and doesn't respond?! An asshole.

Stop trying to beat her up for it. Like you said yourself, we all do things that are wrong. So go ahead and let us know your wrongdoings so we can tear you up about it. 😜

Elisemum · 08/08/2021 19:21

Its her house too and her door too, she may lock it if she wishes too. Also the fact that she is pregnant does make a difference and a big one! The guy behaved like an absolute jerk, he READ her messages (not one but a few) and didn’t bother to answer. It would be different if he didn’t read them but he clearly did and knew she would get upset yet chose to upset her deliberately. So yes, she had every right to lock the door and teach him a lesson. He was allowed to be a jerk, so was she!

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:22

@Elisemum

Its her house too and her door too, she may lock it if she wishes too. Also the fact that she is pregnant does make a difference and a big one! The guy behaved like an absolute jerk, he READ her messages (not one but a few) and didn’t bother to answer. It would be different if he didn’t read them but he clearly did and knew she would get upset yet chose to upset her deliberately. So yes, she had every right to lock the door and teach him a lesson. He was allowed to be a jerk, so was she!

Yup. 👏🏻

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:23

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow you've totally assumed she is controlling😂 she didn't throw a tantrum because he went out, she got upset because he was out much much later than usual (middle of the night) with no communication. Who reads messages and doesn't respond?! An asshole.

Stop trying to beat her up for it. Like you said yourself, we all do things that are wrong. So go ahead and let us know your wrongdoings so we can tear you up about it. 😜

[/quote]
I'm glad you've acknowledged that OP is wrong. Hopefully she can sort it out and her DH keep a close eye on her behaviour.

It's unacceptable to lock someone out of their own home.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:23

@Elisemum

Its her house too and her door too, she may lock it if she wishes too. Also the fact that she is pregnant does make a difference and a big one! The guy behaved like an absolute jerk, he READ her messages (not one but a few) and didn’t bother to answer. It would be different if he didn’t read them but he clearly did and knew she would get upset yet chose to upset her deliberately. So yes, she had every right to lock the door and teach him a lesson. He was allowed to be a jerk, so was she!

The law says otherwise.

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:26

@Sadiecow what law? I have locked the door many many times when my DH has been out - I feel safer. Holy shit just arrest me now. 🥺😂

toocold54 · 08/08/2021 19:33

You did the right thing by locking the door. He could have been out all night so it’s just being safe. Not sure the reason for the chain though unless he didn’t have a key?!

I’d say the only thing he’s done wrong is not reply to your texts unless he did reply and then you kept texting asking what time he’d be back and generally being annoying lol but I think it’s fine to text someone letting them know that you’re going bed and you’ve locked the door etc and it’s just common decency for him to text back saying ‘ok see you later goodnight’ type thing.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:34

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow what law? I have locked the door many many times when my DH has been out - I feel safer. Holy shit just arrest me now. 🥺😂 [/quote]
She locked her DH out of the house, out of spite she refused to let him in.

If that had been my DH doing that to me, I'd have called the police to let them gain access for me ( it that it has ever happened).

She admits that she didn't answer out of spite, despite being so worried about him getting stabbed?

If a man had said he was so worried about his wife getting raped, but then deliberately not answered the door and putting her at more risk, what would you say then.

I personally don't put the chain on the door until the last person due home is home, why would I? They won't be able to get in!

Elisemum · 08/08/2021 19:34

I’d love to know which law exactly says that you can’t lock the door to your own house;) anyway, I’m sure IF the police came they would have taken a side of a wasted man and not his scared pregnant wife :)

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:35

*not that it has ever happened

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:36

@Elisemum

I’d love to know which law exactly says that you can’t lock the door to your own house;) anyway, I’m sure IF the police came they would have taken a side of a wasted man and not his scared pregnant wife :)

She refused to answer the door to him, being drunk is not a crime. You cannot just decide, I'm pissed off with you because you're late, so I'll lock you out!

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:37

@Elisemum

I’d love to know which law exactly says that you can’t lock the door to your own house;) anyway, I’m sure IF the police came they would have taken a side of a wasted man and not his scared pregnant wife :)

Oh yes, she was scared he would get stabbed, so she locked him out........ really worried for his safety wasn't she?

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:39

@Sadiecow omg that says it all really. You are very dramatic... why are you so hung up on the fact she let him wallow in his own stupidness for a few minutes? Get over yourself 😂

I'd be pissed if my DH went on a bender when I was pregnant so fuck knows what you'd say to me in that scenario 😂😂😂

My DH texts me when he gets to work & when he's leaving work. He lets me know if he's going to be late. We even have a phonecall at lunch to catch up... when he's out he lets me know when he's leaving to come home. AND VICE VERSA. Am I controlling???? No it's called having respect for one another. This man did not respect his pregnant wife, maybe next time he'll think twice😉

Moonwatcher1234 · 08/08/2021 19:42

OP I hope you’re okay…ignore some of these silly posts. I find people try so hard to be contrary but rise above it. Look, you’re pregnant, alone late at night and seemingly anxious. He was totally wrong to leave you worried by not replying and understands you were upset. I assume you locked the door as you didn’t know if or when he would be back and felt vulnerable going to bed without it. You haven’t done anything wrong

Bluntness100 · 08/08/2021 19:42

What will you be keeping an eye on? His behaviour or yours?,sorry it’s not clear?

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:44

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow omg that says it all really. You are very dramatic... why are you so hung up on the fact she let him wallow in his own stupidness for a few minutes? Get over yourself 😂

I'd be pissed if my DH went on a bender when I was pregnant so fuck knows what you'd say to me in that scenario 😂😂😂

My DH texts me when he gets to work & when he's leaving work. He lets me know if he's going to be late. We even have a phonecall at lunch to catch up... when he's out he lets me know when he's leaving to come home. AND VICE VERSA. Am I controlling???? No it's called having respect for one another. This man did not respect his pregnant wife, maybe next time he'll think twice😉[/quote]
That sounds very needy, to be honest, but each to their own.

Imagine not having texts, how would you have coped!

Clearly the OPs DH doesn't want that level of control, so he doesn't have to have it.

Because you and your DH like it, fine, but clearly her DH is expressing a need for less contact.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:48

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow omg that says it all really. You are very dramatic... why are you so hung up on the fact she let him wallow in his own stupidness for a few minutes? Get over yourself 😂

I'd be pissed if my DH went on a bender when I was pregnant so fuck knows what you'd say to me in that scenario 😂😂😂

My DH texts me when he gets to work & when he's leaving work. He lets me know if he's going to be late. We even have a phonecall at lunch to catch up... when he's out he lets me know when he's leaving to come home. AND VICE VERSA. Am I controlling???? No it's called having respect for one another. This man did not respect his pregnant wife, maybe next time he'll think twice😉[/quote]
Maybe she should LTB if he has no respect, would you stay with a man with no respect for you?

And you call me dramatic, when you're stating someone being late means he has no respect!

😂

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:50

@Sadiecow very needy 😂 oh my god. It's called a partnership! We chose to get married, we don't live separate lives, what would be the point in marriage otherwise 🤪 I love how we do things! Always on the same page ✌🏻 if texts didn't exist we would cope fine, might as well use them since the technology is available.

Since when did you become a clinical psychologist from one comment? Now you're making assumptions about her OH and what his needs are😐 'expressing a need for less contact' rightttttttt.

You're talking in riddles now, just leave it 😂

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:53

@Sadiecow ummm no. Not cause he was late but because he deliberately ignored her texts whilst getting plastered. We don't know the content of the messages but I can only assume he would've KNOWN how worried his pregnant wife was! God forbid that ever happens you.🙄

SamVimes6 · 08/08/2021 19:54

The chain wasn’t put on to keep intruders out, it was out on to keep ‘d’ h out.

Let him go out and let his hair down. Your attitude to him having a night of adult fun seems weird.

xoJellyBean · 08/08/2021 19:54

@Sadiecow oops forgot to add - no I would not be with a man with no respect for me.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:55

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow very needy 😂 oh my god. It's called a partnership! We chose to get married, we don't live separate lives, what would be the point in marriage otherwise 🤪 I love how we do things! Always on the same page ✌🏻 if texts didn't exist we would cope fine, might as well use them since the technology is available.

Since when did you become a clinical psychologist from one comment? Now you're making assumptions about her OH and what his needs are😐 'expressing a need for less contact' rightttttttt.

You're talking in riddles now, just leave it 😂 [/quote]
And that's fine for you and your DH, it clearly not for OPs DH, he didn't respond because he doesn't want that level of contact/neediness etc.

Please don't try and control me by telling me to leave it now, it just again shows you wanting to control.

It's a forum, you don't run it, you don't set the rules, you don't decide others are to leave it.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:56

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow oops forgot to add - no I would not be with a man with no respect for me. [/quote]
So you should be telling OP to leave him?

Go on then!

Youmightrabbityoumight · 08/08/2021 19:57

Maybe next time he goes out agree in advance that he will stay elsewhere. That way he's not getting pestered with texts asking when he'll be home & eventually locked out. You can go to bed & lock the door & get a good night's sleep.

Sadiecow · 08/08/2021 19:57

[quote xoJellyBean]@Sadiecow oops forgot to add - no I would not be with a man with no respect for me. [/quote]
I also love the fact that you tell me to leave it and then you tag me again..........