Check out

[Lemondrizzlegin]

How do you cope when your husband has checked out? I am trying so hard to not do the pick me dance, but I'm devastated.

PS arsehole bingo is always fun. Xx

That when he looks at me he sees my age (he is younger than me) and he was never comfortable being seen out with me..

What a jumped up little prick, off you fuck then knuckle dragger...

Told me he will always love me. But I have never loved him back in the way he needs and I am losing the best thing I would ever have

Sorry but all this just smacks of emotional abuse, dance to my tune and try harder or I'm off type of mind fuckery.

For the love of christ OP find your self respect and anger. Don't allow this manipulative little cunt back into your life again to do it the third, forth, fifth time.

Let this be the last time he disrespects you!

He's going to keep trying to provoke you op, it's part of his punishment and control.

You must try not to bite, it will hurt him more than you know.
Grey rock, ignor and treat him as though he is dead.

He gets joy from your pain.
Very unpleasant man.
x

I really think you shohkd seize this opportunity to attend counselling.. It may be the eye opener you need to see this manipulative twat for what he is.

Stop listening to his drivel, and look at what he's done to you in the cold light of day. You're a grown woman and you CAN cope alone. The only reason you think you can't is because this man has spent years isolating you and chipping away at your sense of self.

If someone did this to my sister there would be hell to pay.

He’s desperately trying to provoke you. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Yes that was exactly what I said. At least it's done for a week now

Your ex is not a nice person. Rise above it. As much as its hard to hear (&could be a line your ex fed her)... From a child's point of view dealing with parents separation its probably a good thing they are being present and enjoying time with their dad (even though we all know he is a twat!)... Try not focus on that comment, you would hope that at times when the kids are doing fun stuff with you they aren't thinking of him.... Its all new to the kids, just reassure them in simple sentances and don't go into details then pull the distraction technique and tickle them, do something funny, talk about their favourite toys/movie etc...
You did great today. If you can't sleep just rest, listen to guided meditation to relax your mind.
Again he is a twat and you deserve better x

Feels like today is never ending.went to the park but found.myself looking at all the families and then started to have a panic attack. Held it together for the kids and they had a great time. I just felt like part of me was missing..

@Lemondrizzlegin

Feels like today is never ending.went to the park but found.myself looking at all the families and then started to have a panic attack. Held it together for the kids and they had a great time. I just felt like part of me was missing..

You are a whole person. Well done for taking the children out. Families come in many shapes and sizes. Try not to focus on the image of the 'perfect' family. You will be stronger and happier in time. Keep going.

That’s understandable, I remember feeling that way too (mainly in the early days, but on rare occasion these days I still get a bit mimsy about things!). I think that’s pretty normal. Thing is though, appearances can be deceptive! I took some pics of my DC last night (we were camping in the garden and playing Monopoly). Nice wholesome family time…,or so you’d think! But that pic wouldn’t show the giant argument that the kids got into re: monopoly rules just a short while before. Or the epic cluttery bloody mess in my house because I CBA to clear it all up after work the night before!!! Don’t forget that there isn’t a single family out there that doesn’t have niggles of some sort.

I think you’re doing such brilliantly :) one week in, you managed a week without him, a pick up and drop off, and flying solo with the kids. You should feel v proud of yourself xxx

Need to have a practical week this week. Have already opened myself a new bank account, funny what you can do with a smart phone at 2am in the morning!!! Now need to get my wages paid into that account. Not sure if I said but he took the savings so he could 'start his new life' it wasn't a life changing amount but would have got the kids uniforms etc.

Keep checking my phone and hoping he will msg. Part of me doesn't want him too but the other part is gutted he hates me that much he won't talk to me.

He's nothing but an ungrateful bastard op and he never deserved you.

Just remember that.
His selfishness will be his undoing.

It always takes time for the truth to unfold but you are doing all the right things, try to keep focused, little things each day which will help you regain control of your situation. Well done with setting up the new bank account.

Can't believe as a 40 something I have task advice about this!! Am so anxious about his bday. Do I let the kids ring him? Feel like I'm in a no win over such a small thing... if I don't acknowledge it I will be the bad one,if I do I will be harassing him

Well, it's new/uncharted waters. I don't think it would harm for you to let the kids ring him (and they can make him a card). He can kick off about it all he likes but it's simply you facilitating your DC in wishing their dad a happy birthday. No one in their right mind should have a problem with that.

And if he does have a problem with it, and can't get his stupid, arrogant, narcissistic head around the fact that the Tooth Fairy isn't going to magically appear to allow the kids to wish him a happy birthday, then he's the one who is going to look bloody stupid. xx

Thank you. Kids took their cards at the weekend. Will get them to ring in the morning then I'm not worrying all day