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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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115 replies

Lemondrizzlegin · 07/08/2021 19:13

How do you cope when your husband has checked out? I am trying so hard to not do the pick me dance, but I'm devastated.

OP posts:
Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 07:57

Thank you so much for all of your kind comments and support.

Just need 11am to be here and get this done. My plan is to say goodbye to the kids and send them out. They are old enough to do this on their own.

Will be along day on my own. But I am to frightened to go out in case I.bump into him and her.

OP posts:
Anon135798642 · 14/08/2021 08:38

Sounds like a good opportunity for a pamper session, OP! Put your favourite music on, long soak in a hot bubble bath, face pack, shave your legs, paint your nails etc etc.
I can't offer any practical advice but you sound lovely, and so amazing for putting up with STBXH for so long. Sending you all the love and luck in the world, but you got this! 💐 ♥️

BeggarsMeddle · 14/08/2021 08:40

@Lemondrizzlegin

Thank you so much!! Reading all this really helps. He has gone and I'm wrecked. Told me he will always love me. But I have never loved him back in the way he needs and I am losing the best thing I would ever have. That when he looks at me he sees my age (he is younger than me) and he was never comfortable being seen out with me..

Am currently in my pjs watching Disney plus with the kids, trying not to crumble

And his comments in this quote are proof that it is all about him. When you have a wobble just think about this quote and what he's saying and how cruelly he is saying it. You honestly haven't 'lost' anything worth keeping.
TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 10:11

Hey there, just checking in!! Believe me, I'm no hero, and I wouldn't have got through it without my mates and siblings.

I tried to pretend that I was addressing a petulant child rather than my XH, and that helped (so no shouting/screaming/swearing and no getting into stupid arguments). I refused to take the bait from him on anything that might descend into an argument. Any text messages were polite and to the point. I didn't engage in anything to do with divorce/finances etc with him, and always said that I would be guided by my solicitor (or that I would consider it and take advice). In short, I wanted to look and stay whiter than white and be completely polite and reasonable (think when you see a toddler on the floor having a screaming tantrum....whilst you stand there looking at them quietly until they calm down - bit of a weird analogy, but it worked for me). I also pretended that any email or text message might one day be read by my solicitor or a Judge. So I didn't want to start effing and blinding (even though I did feel like it), and I never slagged him off in front of the kids (I defo did with my mates though!!)....they twigged his attitude fast enough.

A positive thing about this was that it bugged the crap out of XH. I refused to engage in or carry on conversations if he started shouting, swearing, being threatening etc....or if it wasn't something pertinent to the children. I even would hang up on him (after a polite warning to stop shouting or swearing down the phone at me) - he never expected that.

You're going to do just great. Wear whatever the hell you like!! If he dares comment on what you look like just ignore it. Keep conversation to children and the weather. That's it.

Has he got with someone already (you mentioned "her")?! Ahhh, that will make sense of all his shitty behaviour. It's why he's all of a sudden re-writing history and blaming you for all the issues in the marriage (rather than just him). It's weird isn't it? He knew your age, what you looked like etc when he met you, and certainly when he married you. Well, I'm assuming that's the case, and you didn't kidnap him, keep him blindfolded and under lock and key for years, then force him under gunpoint to marry you....oh and force him to have kids with you. Yet all of a sudden it's suddenly suuuuch an issue to him, and he's suffered all these years and it's sooooo uncomfortable for him...boohoo. MN folk are often right with the phrase "cherchez la femme". What a cockwomble.

I think these scummy guys all follow a script. Honestly, you should do a lotto thing with your mates on it: what dickish crap will he come out with/do next (I did this with my mates):
-he fucks off citing all these problems/his suffering for years with you (weirdly, never mentioned any of this shit before).
-PA-CHING!!! OW pops up out of the undergrowth.
-you forced him to live this awful life pre-OW, never let him do anything etc. (I didn't know I had the power to control other people - apparently I did. Wow, who knew?! If that was the case, I made a somewhat piss poor show of controlling him - weird how I forced him to take drugs and drink on the sly, be abusive towards me, not work, do fuck all about the house, fuck off on whims, make him end up getting nicked, trash the house, crash my car, drink drive when driving my children etc etc. But yeah, anyway, I magically made him do all that).
-OW understands him better than anyone and it's true love blah blah blah. [But Readers(!), would you believe that OW had similar powers to me (he magically continued the behaviours when he was with her!!!!)]
-you're the evil devil incarnate who never let him do x/y/z, live his best life etc.
-you're trying to screw him for money (this was hilarious - I was the breadwinner).
-you're trying to take his kids away/turn them against him (errr no, your alcohol/drugs and abuse kinda did that one).

DING DING, FULL HOUSE!!

Anyway, please know that we are here for you. We are listening. When the kids go, stick on some awesome music and belt out some awesome songs. Dance about the house, pamper yourself, watch cool movies (esp ones he hated but you loved), maybe meet a mate for a coffee....or get a filthy takeout lunch for yourself. Don't you ever let him put you down. He's pond scum and you will come through this. xxxx

TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 10:18

Oh and he's totally done you a favour. He's fucked off. Saves you the bother of having to can him. I personally wish so hard that I canned mine years before, instead of trying bloody everything to make things work (and then off he fucked anyway). I should have done it at least a year or two before. I lurked on here for a good couple of years, looking at what others were doing. I just didn't have the confidence in myself, and thought that I should stay and work on things, "for better, for worse" (I really took those vows I made seriously).

TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 10:59

Thinking of you now! You’ve got this!!! X

updownroundandround · 14/08/2021 12:08

@Lemondrizzlegin

He has gone and I'm wrecked. Told me he will always love me. But I have never loved him back in the way he needs and I am losing the best thing I would ever have. That when he looks at me he sees my age (he is younger than me) and he was never comfortable being seen out with me..

Good grief, he's so fucking needy isn't he ladies ?? Hmm Grin

He needs loved in a 'particular way' Hmm Confused I mean WTF does that mean exactly ?? You should've been on the floor on your knees just because he walked in the bloody door ?? Grin

He needs to ''let you know'' you're losing the ''best thing you ever had ?? Grin So, you aren't considered, (only by him btw Hmm) mentally 'competent' enough to know your own mind then ?? Hmm
Grin By fuck he's SO ''NEEDY'' girls, isn't he ! Grin

when he looks at me he sees my age

And apparently you're now also responsible for his fucking eyesight ! Grin
This is truly apparent because he ''complimented you'' on how ''good you looked'' after a pick up ! You have the power to alter your age too !! Grin
Is there no end to your power over the poor, deluded prick ? Grin Ahh, but wait, is it because he needs you to ''be younger'' ? By fuck, his neediness knows no bounds, does it ?? Grin

Honestly OP, you are SSSSOOOOOOOO much better than him, on EVERY level, it's honestly ridiculous the crap that comes out of his mouth !

It's not a ''pinch'' of salt you'd need to take with his every utterance, it's a bloody shovel full ! Grin

And you're a LOT less bloody needy too ! Grin

TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 13:19

@Lemondrizzlegin

Wish you were here in real life tictac80!!!

Awake at 2am.. now worrying about it being his bday next week and what to do. If I ignore it it will be another thing to blame me for.

Re: his birthday. Have the kids a make a card for him, from them. You don’t need to get him anything. It might make him “uncomfortable” receiving a card from someone “older”, and lord forbid you wanna make the poor soul feel uncomfortable (I’m being sarcastic here).
Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 14:54

He didn't come to the door for kids. He msgd me to send them out. That was my plan anyway. Then text after to say thank you for taking my feelings into account by not making me come to the door as I do not want to see you.

Obviously I did not reply. My sister came and took me out for a coffee and walk which has been nice. But I then had a panic attack coming back to an empty house.

OP posts:
Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 14:54

Thank you all for thinking of me. I certainly didn't expect it

OP posts:
Thestruggleisreal21 · 14/08/2021 15:21

Poor you, that's tough.
Did he text to say thanks for taking his feelings in to consideration as he doesn't want to see you??? Did I read that right??... That is another mind game! He is trying to get in your head.... Its like he is trying to anticipate what you might do and get in first so you doubt yourself.
I'm sure it's hard being in an empty house but use this time to have relaxing bath, a nap, watch a box set. You must be physically and mentally drained.
Remember you are doing great, use your alone time to recharge.... When the kids come back just say bye and close the door. Don't let him in the house, don't tell him where or what you did. Its none of his business and he sounds like a scumbag that would try to use any tiny bit of info you say to him to control you somehow.
P. S. The thing I was talking about is called Eventbrite. It's an online thing, has loads of groups, classes UK and world wide. There was some law office doing a webinar about first steps in separation and Co parenting effectively. These are free, and you don't need your camera on.... Knowledge is power, plus knowing your not the only one going through a crappy time may help.
Xxx

RandomMess · 14/08/2021 15:37

He really has read the script and is DESPERATE to reel you in and engage with you so he can put you down to feel better about himself!

Baby steps Thanks

FuckingFabulous · 14/08/2021 15:50

You are worthy of so much more than this man. He has consistently given worse than the bare minimum acceptable. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you've won, OP. You fucking won here. I promise.

Stay firm. Do not have him back. Learn to roll your eyes and laugh at whatever shitty text he sends you. Let child maintenance deal with his payments, let a solicitor handle contact arrangements and be sure to have them communicate that your preference is to have zero interaction with him. Wash your hands now and keep them clean. In a year, you won't understand how the fuck you put up with him.

Newestname001 · 14/08/2021 16:02

@Lemondrizzlegin

He didn't come to the door for kids. He msgd me to send them out. That was my plan anyway. Then text after to say thank you for taking my feelings into account by not making me come to the door as I do not want to see you.

Oh my! I hope you laughed aloud when you read this.

What an idiot!!

Him that is. 🌹

bigbaggyeyes · 14/08/2021 16:31

Well done for not replying to his text message. I think it's another ploy to draw you into a conversation/be mean. He didn't actually have to say anything did he? Or at the very most 'thanks for sending them out' he didn't have to put the 'because I didn't want to see you' on his text, that was just mean and spiteful.

As for the panic attack, try and see the empty house as something soothing, have a bath, watch some crap tv or even squirrel some snacks away just for you to eat whilst the kids are away.

TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 16:56

Well done for not replying to the idiot!! And well done for getting out for coffee and a walk. You’re doing so well :) xx

Window1 · 14/08/2021 17:19

@Lemondrizzlegin

He didn't come to the door for kids. He msgd me to send them out. That was my plan anyway. Then text after to say thank you for taking my feelings into account by not making me come to the door as I do not want to see you.

Obviously I did not reply. My sister came and took me out for a coffee and walk which has been nice. But I then had a panic attack coming back to an empty house.

Getting out for a coffee and a walk sounds like a good idea. Keep yourself busy and the time will go by. Sorry, but your ex doesn't sound very nice. Keep doing what is best for you.

Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 17:22

Thank you again for checking in everyone! Getting anxious for the kids return and how drop off is going to go. Will be so glad to.go back to work in a couple of weeks.

OP posts:
TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 17:33

What time is drop off? Just remember to grey rock and not take the bait, but I know you’ll be fine. :) xx

RandomMess · 14/08/2021 17:39

Answer the door to the kids and shut door once they are in.

You could say "bye" certainly don't say thanks or engage in conversation.

Hopefully the DC will just walk into the house themselves??

Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 17:48

Drop off is 7. I'm hoping they do come in of their own accord I did discuss that with them before they left.
So exhausted today but know I won't sleep tonight. I seem to not off then I'm wide awake at 2am and cannot drop off after that.

OP posts:
bigbaggyeyes · 14/08/2021 18:46

If he does come to the door, simply talk to the dc 'hope you had a lovely day with Dad' usher them in and shut the door. If he sends them to the door on their own - great. Ignore any text afterwards unless it's a direct question about the dc.

Lemondrizzlegin · 14/08/2021 19:41

They are back. He didn't come to the door. Little one crying because she misses him. God I hope this gets easier. She told me she had been so busy having a lovely time she forgot all about me Sad

OP posts:
Learningatmyownpace · 14/08/2021 19:53

Oh come on - she’s been fed that line. How old is she? I hope you said ‘that’s good, I’m glad you had a good time’.

He’s a classic manipulator. I think arsehole bingo is a excellent idea.

The best revenge is living well OP.

TicTac80 · 14/08/2021 20:06

She didn’t mean it in the way that you’re thinking. Sheesh, my XH only had to buy my DD a kids magazine from the newsagent, and she’d say he was Lord God Almighty!!! When we first split, she hero worshipped her dad. He could do no wrong in her eyes. Two years on and she’s started to figure things out for herself. I promise you, they don’t forget xxx