Is maintenance sex yuck or yay?

[smilingcaz]

What do you think about maintenance sex?

Where you do it even if you’re not in the mood

To be clear, this is not doing it because you’re being coerced, guilt tripped or forced into it

This is doing it when you could easily say you’re tired, got too much to do or don’t feel like it

Because if you keep waiting for you both to be in the mood, not tired, kids asleep, house to be tidy, to do list to be all done ….. well you could be waiting forever

And that if you sometimes do it even when everything’s not perfect it will keep your sex life (and marriage) ticking along

What do you think about maintenance sex? Yuck or Yay

[quote Crikeyalmighty]@HarebrightCedarmoon. I think a lot of what you have said Definitely relates to me. I ‘was’ perfectly interested till I hit around 43 - and as you say that’s the point when natural fertility usually starts to be pretty non existent — after 51 and menopause it dropped like a stone. The problem is of course for many men of similar age they are still going strong and you can end up with acomplete mismatch and start to feel a bit ‘obliged/forced’ . I’m sure it’s why you end up with a lot of divorces/ affairs in this age group too. Clearly the same applies to a few men too having read these threads. Maybe their wives are all taking HRT or something because mentally as well as physically find it doesn’t appeal anymore , and nor does it make me feel ‘closer’ etc— just makes me agitated. There isnt an easy answer I’m afraid and it may well bring about the demise of my marriage along with a few other things but I have found my body simply won’t go along with something even for maintenance unless I am fully in the mood mentally and physically , but that may be because I am no longer feeling the love 100% as they say[/quote]
Thanks for your comment @Crikeyalmighty. There are an awful lot of men who are not bothered about sex either though - always loads of posts on here about husbands no longer interested, and sometimes they are quite young. Personally DH's sex drive was always lower than mine and it was almost always me initiating sex. I think he's slightly relieved that my sex drive has tailed off! It's a problem if there is a mismatch, but not necessarily if you both feel the same. DH and I have always been best mates and we have such a laugh together regardless of whether more romantic moments occur.