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Original poster

Husband leaving family holiday for football

99 replies

Peachblossom83 · 04/08/2021 21:58

AIBU? Family holiday next week, with his parents. He's just announced he is leaving a night early to travel home so he can watch his team play. Holiday has been booked for ages. We have 2 young children.

I don't need him there, can manage fine but I am just so fed of football being prioritised over me and family time.

OP posts:
SmugglersHaunt · 04/08/2021 21:59

Sounds completely pathetic to me. Does this happen a lot?

ClemDanFango · 04/08/2021 22:00

I’d be organising fucking night out for when you get back and leaving him with the kids.

Original poster
Peachblossom83 · 04/08/2021 22:03

Yes, it does happen a lot. I won't even go into the situations but they've been worse than leaving a family holiday.

OP posts:
jackstini · 04/08/2021 23:48

I would be fed up too!

Unless it was a massive cup final deal or something and he asked rather than told

Sounds like you are saying he has form for this type of thing though?

What will your kids and his parents think?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/08/2021 23:51

I can't even imagine being married to such a selfish, pathetic man.

maddy68 · 04/08/2021 23:55

As a massive football fan I have done the same. The fixtures haven't long come out. He would have known details before

Shelddd · 05/08/2021 00:08

Crazy, bring a laptop and just watch on that?

omgthepain · 05/08/2021 00:12

If this has happened before and you are still with this waste of space he'll assume it's acceptable and it's not

It's like when men cheat and women forgive it's a green light to cheat again

Don't allow this you and your children deserve better LTB

ineedaholidaynow · 05/08/2021 00:56

@maddy68 you would leave a family holiday just for a normal game of football (not talking World Cup final)

Also leaving the family with his relatives, that is so rude.

How will you get home @Peachblossom83?

NiceGerbil · 05/08/2021 03:37

How are you getting home?

Can you say ok cool let's all go back a day early. As it's weird if you just bugger off.

Darker · 05/08/2021 03:45

My ex used to do this sort of thing. Really disrespectful.

Chunkymenrock · 05/08/2021 05:08

Harsh responses! I wouldn't have a problem with it but then I don't get overly worked up about the whole concept of holidays and I would see it as a give and take situation. Next time I wanted to go and do something alone, I would. It's healthy to do your thing here and there and he has no control about when matches are played.

Darker · 05/08/2021 05:17

But the arrangement is time with his parents. It’s not respectful for him to arrange for the family to do one thing on the basis that everyone is doing it and then remove himself without discussing it. Maybe the OP would rather not be left with his parents with no say in the matter.

This is what my ex would do - arrange a family visit then leave me to look after his mum while he did his own thing. I wouldn’t have minded if that had been made explicit at the outset.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/08/2021 05:21

@Chunkymenrock

Harsh responses! I wouldn't have a problem with it but then I don't get overly worked up about the whole concept of holidays and I would see it as a give and take situation. Next time I wanted to go and do something alone, I would. It's healthy to do your thing here and there and he has no control about when matches are played.
It doesn't matter what you think about holidays. It matters that he made a commitment (without being forced I assume) to spend time with his parents and his family and he's just buggering off because it suits him.

It's selfish and unkind.

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 05/08/2021 05:44

@omgthepain

If this has happened before and you are still with this waste of space he'll assume it's acceptable and it's not

It's like when men cheat and women forgive it's a green light to cheat again

Don't allow this you and your children deserve better LTB

This sums it up for me (sort of)

I really feel for you as its such shit behaviour on his part.

My DH is football mad and had a season ticket for his home town (think liverpool and we live in london in terms of distance)

I asked him straight up when we had been dating a few months what his plans were long term because if he wanted to use a full season ticket either there or in london I didnt see a future for us. Next season he went into a 3 way season ticket share (so 1 in 3 of the games with some pals) there are two seats so he can trade a game and get two tickets for one game.
We go together maybe once a season, and he doubles up other games as visiting family.
When we have kids he will need to knock it on the head and my expectation is he takes the kid(s) with him. He knows this and agrees/is of the same opinion as v family oriented.

I was clear premarriage if he ever wants a divorce all he needs to do is get a full season ticket ( or buy lyrca and take up cycling or long distance running.) Grin
I refuse to be a sport widow but appreciate its nice and easy for me to say this my husband has totally the same expectations of family life as i do and has adjusted accordingly.
In reality if he did take up a full season ticket i'd be utterly heartbroken and would struggle to up end my (wonderful) life with him despite his selfishhness as he is an amazing husband.

Hugs to you as its pure crap Flowers

Mindymomo · 05/08/2021 06:04

This has been my life for over 40 years, holidays, family gatherings, parties, birthdays etc have all been arranged around football. My DH and DS and my DB are season ticket holders, paying over £1,500 each, so they need to go to get their monies worth. Even while DS were growing up, DH managed both their football teams in total for 13 years. So as well as going to football, there was training each week, tournaments when the season finished. When I met my DH he played football 3 times a week and I also had 2 brothers who played. We have come home early from holidays go gone a day late as well.

patootie1 · 05/08/2021 06:17

This reply has been deleted

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girlmom21 · 05/08/2021 06:20

How far away from home will you be? Will it be a big game? Can you all just go home a night early?

Is it a common occurrence? Is his behaviour regularly selfish or is this a one off?

ivykaty44 · 05/08/2021 06:30

Is this to physically attend a live football match?

Has he made arrangements for someone to care for his children? Or did he just assume you’d step in and care for them?

Bluntness100 · 05/08/2021 06:34

@ivykaty44

Is this to physically attend a live football match?

Has he made arrangements for someone to care for his children? Or did he just assume you’d step in and care for them?

Is this actually a serious post? Do you genuinely feel it’s normal if one partner goes away and the other is off that the one going away needs to organise childcare as the other can’t be expected to look after their own kids on a family holiday ans would prefer not to? Is this how you live?
DinosaurDiana · 05/08/2021 06:44

I’d be going back with him so you don’t have to deal with the kids alone on the journey home. And why should you entertain his parents for a night.

hopeishere · 05/08/2021 06:52

Have you made your displeasure known to him?

Postbox123 · 05/08/2021 06:58

This may be the first chance he’s had to see his team in over a year. I’d do the same if I was him, but my husband and son would also be there! We have arranged our holiday to get to our first home game in 18 months and just miss the away fixture. You’ve got to find any chance of happiness at the moment and take it!

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/08/2021 07:01

And leaving a day early handily gets him out of the work of packing and cleaning. There is no way I would have married a football fan.

Livandme · 05/08/2021 07:18

It's only 1 day. I'd be inclined to travel back together but you say there are other similar incidents. Do these incidents involve him always getting his own way, leaving you doing all the work?
I'd be inclined to book a weekend away every once in a while so he has to step up.

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