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Original poster

Husband leaving family holiday for football

99 replies

Peachblossom83 · 04/08/2021 21:58

AIBU? Family holiday next week, with his parents. He's just announced he is leaving a night early to travel home so he can watch his team play. Holiday has been booked for ages. We have 2 young children.

I don't need him there, can manage fine but I am just so fed of football being prioritised over me and family time.

OP posts:
Livandme · 05/08/2021 07:22

Oh to add, my friend is a driving instructor, he is leaving his family holiday on 2 occasions next week to return to let his pupils take their test. His dw is understanding as unavoidable

Ginger1982 · 05/08/2021 07:22

Are you going to be abroad or in the UK? Did he just present you with this? He's a twat. I'd be furious.

aubreyii · 05/08/2021 07:25

Tosspot

ineedaholidaynow · 05/08/2021 08:12

@Bluntness100 with football it always seems that the man has a right to watch it and the woman just sucks it up and looks after the children (saw it on many threads during the Euros, when man needed to watch football and get drunk with his mates regardless of what his partner wanted)

They are on holiday with his parents, it is very rude on all counts to just leave and then expect his partner to sort everything out with the DC to get home.

Darker · 05/08/2021 08:18

Exactly. Unless this early departure was planned and specifically agreed in advance it’s not ok. OP might have preferred for them all to come home before match day.

KatherineSiena · 05/08/2021 08:19

It’s pretty poor behaviour especially to spring it on you this late. Are you self-catering? If so does that mean all the last day cleaning and packing up falls to you and all the driving/travelling with two small children?

I assume (hope) you like his parents if you’re holidaying with them. Are they aware of his revised plans?

QueenofLouisiana · 05/08/2021 08:22

DH is travelling to see his team play on Saturday. We’ll stop at a farmer’s market together as I drop him at the station and then eat dinner in a nice pub near the station when I pick him up. I’m quite looking forward to a day on holiday on my own.

Sittinginthesand · 05/08/2021 08:26

It’s a family holiday. If he insists on leaving early you all go together, and it’s his fault, and he has to tell his parents. I would be really passed off at this. What do his parents think.

LittleGreenTable · 05/08/2021 08:28

Anything we want my dad to come to we have to plan around the football. My wedding for example was a big derby match, I had to plan the ceremony where it wouldn't clash with the game and somewhere with a tv so he could watch it. Turns out we had to postpone anyway so didn't matter but we have rescheduled and I have to hope that they don't play on that day!

CornishGem1975 · 05/08/2021 08:30

On the fence. We came home a night early for the Euros and I was okay with that (my suggestion in fact) but I guess that was a big deal and we all came home, rather than someone going on their own.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 05/08/2021 08:31

@LittleGreenTable

Anything we want my dad to come to we have to plan around the football. My wedding for example was a big derby match, I had to plan the ceremony where it wouldn't clash with the game and somewhere with a tv so he could watch it. Turns out we had to postpone anyway so didn't matter but we have rescheduled and I have to hope that they don't play on that day!
Even for your wedding day he wouldn't just prioritise you over football rather than making you have to build the timings around him? Ugh. Sorry, that sounds so shitty of him Thanks
bigbaggyeyes · 05/08/2021 08:32

Is he coming back or staying there? Did he ask if that's ok, arrange childcare or simply presume you'd stay and look after the dc?

Goldbar · 05/08/2021 08:37

Leave two days early yourself (urgent hospital appointment or something Grin) so he has to take the kids back with him.

5475878237NC · 05/08/2021 08:39

Given he has form for this no wonder you're fed up. It's so selfish to announce his plans that trump family commitments.

sandgrown · 05/08/2021 08:43

As someone who has not seen their team play live since January 2020. I sort of understand. The first game back will be special . Will the in laws not help you pack up ?

Outbutnotoutout · 05/08/2021 08:48

@Peachblossom83

AIBU? Family holiday next week, with his parents. He's just announced he is leaving a night early to travel home so he can watch his team play. Holiday has been booked for ages. We have 2 young children.

I don't need him there, can manage fine but I am just so fed of football being prioritised over me and family time.

Well of course he will be taking the children with him, won't he ...
litterbird · 05/08/2021 08:58

I made it a priority to not date a man who wears football shirts and was fanatical about football and that has remained with me all my life. I then thought golf would be ok......oh no....the father of my daughter was a golfer, I became a golf widow and he became an ex pretty quickly. My fault for not bungling together all male dominated sports in my date priorities!!! I feel for you OP, I know how it feels being abandoned for a sport. I do get his side of things a bit as sports and gatherings have been off the table for a while and I am sure he is excited for it ( I am v v excited today as off to London to see Anything Goes, first theatre visit with all my friends since Feb 2020). However, he knew about the holiday, he didn't discuss this months ago and the time could have been changed and lastly it seems he has done this many a time. My suggestion would be to start booking nights away with your girlfriends when he is back and enjoy some child free time on your terms too.

LittleGreenTable · 05/08/2021 09:00

@youvegottenminuteslynn I'm used to it really, he's amazing in every other way so I can forgive him his love for football.

CBroads · 05/08/2021 09:01

I'm a massive Football fan so I can sympathise with him. So I the shoe was on the other foot and you wanted to do something you enjoy and he kicked off about it, you'd be crying the poor tale. The term "sports widow" is ridiculous, let them do what they enjoy, as long as you get time for hobbies too there should be no problem. I'm female and absolutely detest the hatred that other women have for football (or sports in general), grow up.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/08/2021 09:09

Do you think it is okay to leave a holiday a day early @CBroads without it being discussed beforehand? And it appears that this isn’t the first time football takes priority (and it doesn’t have to be football it can be any hobby/interest).

I can’t imagine DH would have been too impressed if I had left him a day early whilst holidaying with my parents for something that is not a one off experience

Candydreamer · 05/08/2021 09:14

I'm also a huge football fan but I wouldnt do this.

piss poor excuse to say oh but I loooove it! tough luck, there is plenty of games in a season you can go to.

CBroads · 05/08/2021 09:15

@ineedaholidaynow

Do you think it is okay to leave a holiday a day early *@CBroads* without it being discussed beforehand? And it appears that this isn’t the first time football takes priority (and it doesn’t have to be football it can be any hobby/interest).

I can’t imagine DH would have been too impressed if I had left him a day early whilst holidaying with my parents for something that is not a one off experience

If the shoe was on the other foot, I honestly wouldn't be bothered, it's one night not a week. The football season is about to begin, fixtures have only just been released, so he wouldn't have known "beforehand" I'd just be glad he's into something he really enjoys. The whole "football hating wife" thing is tiresome now. As long as its 50/50 and the other spouse can go out and do what they enjoy, there really shouldn't be problem unless you make it one.
weebarra · 05/08/2021 09:15

My team are playing in Europe when we are on holiday. It's a four hour round trip from where we are staying. I'll probably go and I would be fine if DH wanted to do the same.
His team are playing tonight, and it will be the first time he's seen them live since March 2020. They have to be in the ground early so he's booked the pub for 4.30, game starts at 7.45.
I have no problem with this, he wouldn't if it were me.
It's about equity and being a partnership, not football.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/08/2021 09:25

@CBroads but the OP says football is prioritised over family time. A hobby/interest surely should not be prioritised over family time. That certainly doesn’t sound as if it is 50:50 split for the OP to do her thing, and even if it is where do the DC fit in

rookiemere · 05/08/2021 09:26

This is clearly a tip of the iceberg thing. If he's a good DH in other ways then whilst I'd be a little annoyed, him leaving one night early from a UK break wouldn't be the end of the world, provided it didn't cause an issue with getting home the following day.

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