How do you know if another woman has been in your house?

[Livandme]

OK, wise mumsnetters Im after some ideas on this.
In a few weeks, myself and a group of girlfriends are having a few nights away. We have met up this week to discuss and make arrangements. Whilst there, one of the group has suggested she thinks her long term partner is potentially seeing someone else.
She thinks he may have the woman to stay at their house whilst we are away.
She wants concrete evidence before confronting. I suggested she got ducks in a row in terms of financial etc but she wants to try get evidence whilst we are away.
I've suggested a ring doorbell may help but neither partner has been keen in the past so doing it now may arose suspicion.
Also suggested was asking neighbours but she didn't seem to like that idea v much.

Would you know if another woman had been in your house? What else could she do?

I think they are pretty close to the end of the road with regards to their relationship but obviously any findings may mean things are very difficult for a while.

Secret camera?

Nannycam type thing.

If a man said he was going to record his wife without her permission, MN servers would explode.

It is illegal to record someone without their permission in their own home. DO NOT DO THIS.

Tell your friend her relationship is already over. There is absolutely no trust there and it's not coming back.

Another vote for the relationship being over, there is clearly no trust!

Why put herself through that? You don’t need evidence to prove why you want to leave. Feeling insecure is an issue itself, definitely doesn’t equate to it being ok to spy on someone.

I would see if he washes the sheets while she’s away. Otherwise there’s a good chance the woman will leave the evidence she needs… possibly deliberately if she wants your friend to know. But if she’s at the stage of contemplating a camera ( not saying she is) then she’s probably better off calling it quits.

That relationship is dead in the water.

But just to add, I can always tell when someone else has been in the house, even a pop-through friend of my son's or DP's. The smell, a towel moved slightly differently in the bathroom, an extra cup washed up but put away not quite right, etc. (I've quite messy and attempts at tidy stand out to me. It's odd, but they do.)

But life shouldn't be this suspicious.

She can ring him and see if he answers? If he doesn't she can ask him questions later and be on miss Marple mode.
Either way, no trust no relationship.

Leave out lots of something countable in the bathroom like a box with 12 tampons in it or a dish with 16 hair bands, something she wouldnt expect to have been counted beforehand but will have. Leave out an expensive perfume or face cream, something someone is likely to pick up and read the label out of curiosity, but angle it a particular way beforehand so you remember precisely how it was positioned.

Put a full roll of TP in before you leave and check how much is used when you get back - unless the man has a massive case of the shits he shouldn't have used that much of it

Go home a day early? Or tell him you’re staying a day longer?

If he changes the sheets without prompting that's probably a bit of a clue.

This relationship does sound incredibly unhealthy.

I would advise talking to a solicitor before doing anything, so she can make informed decisions about her next moves and avoid any illegal activities.

Will she even be able to enjoy the trip?

Leave a visitor's book in the bedroom.

Building on @Kalvinette 's ideas - tell her to leave a long hair on her jewellery box; your friend will know if she has opened it.

Tell her to leave something small on the floor of her side of the bed, like a bit of fabric, a scrunchie or a hankie, something that looks like it's been dropped - and photograph its position.

She could place a pair of her knickers in the bed, right where her bum or back would be. It would be odd if they were moved by her husband as they wouldn't be in his way.

Tell her to wash all of the crockery and cutlery before she goes and see how much is in the sink / dishwasher or on the draining board when she returns.

there's a Thread on here where a MIL has cameras in her house and she is completely oblivious to it ..

Her Son recorded everyones conversations .. under the guise of .. security for dear Ole Mum 🙄

The only thing a 'aha! caught you!' moment will have, is pain for your friend.
She may as well call his bluff and tell him 'she knows' he's seeing someone else and end the relationship anyway.
f

Don't know what the random 'f' is for

Poor woman feeling she has to do this!

Would love to know what she’s going to do. Very sad she has to though.

Sprinkles talc all over the floor. Measure the footprints when you get home.

The famous "ducks in a row" financially. If they're not married, she won't be entitled to any of his ducks, long term partner or not.

Definitely avoid anything illegal.

I think if it were me, the day before going I'd say I'm cancelling as I don't feel well / holiday is cancelled for some other reason and watch his reaction.

Then go away but call home and have some conversations that you know would be awkward if someone else was around.

I appreciate none of this will prove anything, but nothing but cast iron evidence would really prove it, and that would involve something illegal like recording without consent, which is just wrong.

Well if she really wants evidence rather than just leaving because the relationship is over, there is always the option of hiring a private detective to watch the house and film comings and goings. Not the same as getting evidence of them shagging but something.

Change of bed sheets, strands of hair that are a different colour and length and check the plates and cutlery washed- are they pairs or more than for one person.

But as everyone said, the relationship sound dead with the lack of trust. She doesn’t need evidence.