I'm obviously going to dump him but...

[BalmyNights]

I've been seeing someone for about 4 months. It's not serious. It could have been but over the past few weeks, I've realised that he has an issue with the fact I'm not young, slim and beautiful.

We went out to the pub to meet some friends last night and he nearly clipped the kerb because he was staring at two young women, barely out of their teens, on the other side of the road. I've noticed him 'looking' at much younger women a couple of times previously. He always seems to be hoping and waiting for them to turn around and get some acknowledgement that he's not 'past it'.

It's disrespectful to me, disrespectful to them and makes him look like an idiot. I'm not jealous or heartbroken, I just feel embarrassed for him.

What is going on in his head? (Rhetorical question, I know the answer.)

He'd rather be single forever and chase the impossible dream that a women in her 20s will fall for him. She won't.

I would say it's not working out, sorry but the age gap is an issue for you.

I would say you've met and fallen in love with an eighteen year old... that would really wind him up!!

@Baberuthie

I would say you've met and fallen in love with an eighteen year old... that would really wind him up!!

An 18yo model 😂

He nearly became a sad stereotype of a bloke driving into a tree

Lol I'm glad you can to some extent mock him OP. Yes it's sad/sleazy but it also is disrespectful to you. I'd be a bit angry.

Best wishes, please do dump him. He doesn't deserve another moment of your time.

As a man, this general fascination that some of my male brethren have with dating young girls is something I’ve always struggled to get my head round. I’m 43 and can hold a conversation fine with just about anyone, but I can’t imagine dating a girl in her early 20s now, never mind in another decade when I’m in my 50s - asides from the self conscious awareness that everyone would think I’m her dad, I severely doubt we would have many mutual interests to talk about.

Years ago I dated a girl (same age!!) whose dad had an affair and moved out. He was 45 at the time and his affair partner a junior female work colleague who was 17. It was sick.

I can only assume it’s nothing more than egoism and these men think that attracting a younger model is a sign of their virility and that they still have ‘it’. Bit pathetic really.

What is going on in his head?

Looking at a woman's body, a woman he doesn't know, is priority over respecting that women or the woman he's on a date with. Bullet dodged, the trash cleared itself out.

He thinks that if men were interested in me then I wouldn't be so 'bitter'.

This would make both my body and brain totally shut off from him. Bleurgh.

Ugh yuk what a creep. Even if he was young it makes no difference I hate men leering at women full stop. It does make it worse if they are very young women too!

Omg big ick 🤮 you are right OP, it has completely and utterly ruined him

I love this:

When you dump him, say you’re sorry but he’s just too old for you and you couldn’t get past it.

Sure say he’s too old for you. Also mention that someone else noticed his roving eye when you were out together, and chatted you up when he found you alone later on. Someone who told you you deserved better, and to be the focus of your partner’s attention. You’ve thought this over, and decided it was true. While that guy won’t get a call from you, a couple of the others who’ve asked you out recently will. Byeeeeee!

This thread seems to imply that men are shallow for focusing on looks but isn’t hypocritical for women to say that looks don’t matter when they are the people who are keeping the plastic surgeons in business.

@ferando81

This thread seems to imply that men are shallow for focusing on looks but isn’t hypocritical for women to say that looks don’t matter when they are the people who are keeping the plastic surgeons in business.

Women ( some ) women are under intense PRESUREs by society qbd men to loom a certain way. That is exactly why women are the main ones keeping plastic surgeons in business Do you see women drooling over men half their age in porn Show me millions men who’s wives embarrass them when they are in their middle to let age by ogling at men young enough to be their sons Show me the millions of men men who are traded in for younger models Wow you think that who is having the surgery to look better prices who’s more shallow . Yes it does . It proves which gender is under the most pressure to look a certain way for the other and that men are BY FAR the more shallow Thankyou for highlighting this point even further

And ftr obviously not all women who have plastic surgery do it for men or because of pressure but there is a huge element of that in many cases

This thread seems to imply that men are shallow for focusing on looks but isn’t hypocritical for women to say that looks don’t matter when they are the people who are keeping the plastic surgeons in business.

Ummmm…why do you think it’s women having plastic surgery? Read your own post, it’ll give you a clue.

@TheStoic

This thread seems to imply that men are shallow for focusing on looks but isn’t hypocritical for women to say that looks don’t matter when they are the people who are keeping the plastic surgeons in business.

Ummmm…why do you think it’s women having plastic surgery? Read your own post, it’ll give you a clue.

Yea I don’t know that ferando81 has thought that deeply about the topic to make such silly statement as the ones who are under so much pressure to look good that they are the main ones having these surgeries must be the ones who are shallow

Yet he's chasing these women who aren't interested in him when he could have a good relationship with me

yes, but you do really want him? as he is, not as you'd like him to be?