So I know I’ve let this go on far too long but I’ve been seeing a guy on and off for a year. He sat me down about 3 months into dating and told me he isn’t ready for a relationship. Despite me wanting a relationship I carried on seeing him, not because I thought I would change his mind but I thought I could cope with it.
We agreed to only sleep with each other and he always says he feels horrible at the thought of me with another man, he’s told me he loves me. We talk all day every day, and have met each other’s family and friends.
Recently I went on a date because I had enough of feeling so worthless. He found out and got upset saying he can’t believe I would do this as we’ve been so good recently, he said him not being ready for a relationship has nothing to do with me but it obviously does. He’s been in relationships before me. He said he knows he needs to allow me to be happy but it still upsets him.
I know I need to end it but I’m sat here in tears at the thought of ending it. When I said we were at a dead end and will never be together he asked me is that what I think. Like what is with all these games. Of course if he loved me and didn’t want me to be with anyone we would be together. I feel like such an idiot, it feels so nice when we’re together but I’m just stuck