Am I normal to feel hurt? (Masturbation)

[hellolittleone]

So me and my partner have been together 3 years and have an 9 month old baby boy. Two days ago he’s ended our relationship over a stupid argument we had and it’s not great at home we don’t talk much but around the baby we act normal. Usually if he breaks things off after a row we are fine after a couple of days of grovelling from whichever one of us was wrong. But this time it’s not so easy and I admit it was my fault. Which I’ve admitted and apologised for.
Here’s my problem...
The past few days since it’s happened he has been leaving underwear he has used to clean up after he’s masturbated, on our bedroom floor for me to wash. Now I usually wouldn’t see this as our sex life is really good and if I did it wouldn’t usually bother me that he’s watched porn etc but to leave them so freely for me to see on the floor I know he wants me to be hurt and I am for some reason. I’m a mess, I’m sleeping on the sofa at night and he’s happily watching porn in our bed at night and getting himself off.
Can anyone please give me some light into why I feel so hurt by this? Do I just wash them as normal and pretend it doesn’t bother me?

Thanks ☺️

He can wash his own pants.

Get rid of this bastard. No man who respects you would do this. You deserve better than this crap.

He's disgusting and btw it's toxic to break up and grovel back repeatedly
Break this off for the sake of your child.

He's being a disrespectful twat. Tell him to pick up and wash his own parts.

@hellolittleone you’re upset because he’s disrespecting you and a complete twat! If he’s broken things off tell him to move out. You should not be sleeping on the sofa. This isn’t a healthy relationship pattern as breaking things off means you make your relationship really insecure and uncommitted. So that needs worked on if you’re to get back together. But he sounds like a nasty person.

OP. You’ve broken up and you’re still doing his washing? washing that he hasn’t even put in the laundry basket?

If you can bring yourself to touch them I’d put them in the bed. You’re not sleeping in there anyway.

I think you’re hurt because of the total lack of respect he’s showing you. He doesn’t sound very nice at all and the constant breakups must be exhausting. You can’t bring a child up together with that amount of uncertainty and upheaval.

@Dontforgetyourbrolly

He's disgusting and btw it's toxic to break up and grovel back repeatedly Break this off for the sake of your child.

And yes to this.

How utterly disrespectful. I’d fold them dirty and put them back in the drawer. Dirty fucker.

Better still kick him out and change the locks.

This is emotional abuse.

You can't continue a relationship where an argument results in him giving you the silent treatment for days on end and him "punishing" you by leaving his spunk all over the bedroom for you to clear up. That's vile.

If he wants to separate, then you need to discuss living separately like adults. You're parents now. This is not an environment for a child.

Ask him to move out. Is the house in both your names?

It's not normal to end your relationship after every little rite. That really destabilising and insecure.

Either you go to counselling to learn how to build a better relationship or you break up. It sounds toxic for you and your DC.

And ignore his pants. Let him wash his own spunky pants, the vile man.

This is genuinely fucking disgusting. He is deliberately showing his lack of respect and his contempt for you, OP. Get rid of the vile bastard.
I'd be tempted to get some tongs, pick the undies all up and bin the lot instead of washing them.

This has made me feel really sick OP. This is not someone to share your life with. You only get one.

but to leave them so freely for me to see on the floor I know he wants me to be hurt and I am for some reason. I’m a mess, I’m sleeping on the sofa at night and he’s happily watching porn in our bed at night and getting himself off

Absolutely disgusting.
Plenty of men masturbate when in a relationship. Plenty of men watch porn - I would feel uncomfortable about a partner of mine doing this, however many people have no issue with their partners doing so.

However, only shit, vile, disrespectful men would leave their dirty underwear lying around on the floor deliberately for their partner to find.
He is awful and you should chuck him out. Get rid of him and either enjoy being single in a clean home with no wanking partner chucking cum infested pants around or look for some decent man who respects you and doesn't do this.

Breaking up after every row isn't normal or healthy.

That is the real issue that needs addressed here, the wanking in to his pants bit is him being a rude, disrespectful shit, but I think it sounds like your relationship is not OK.

Why is he in the bed when you are on the sofa? I assume you are the primary carer for the baby? Surely he should be on the sofa?

Why are you doing his washing?
And more importantly, why are you picking it up from the bedroom floor for him?!

He can pick up his own pants.
If he was my DH and he was wanking instead of having sex with me, he’d be out the door.
If my DH was watching porn he’d be out the door.
It’s up to you with what you will put up with.
You say it’s not good at home, and you’re sleeping on the sofa.
Time to end it.

Pick them up and put them back in his clean underwear drawer so they're not lying around cluttering up the house.

He sounds horrible. Have a good think about your options.

Do you have someone to talk to ? Parents, friends ?

@DinosaurDiana

He can pick up his own pants. If he was my DH and he was wanking instead of having sex with me, he’d be out the door. If my DH was watching porn he’d be out the door. It’s up to you with what you will put up with. You say it’s not good at home, and you’re sleeping on the sofa. Time to end it.

You'd leave your husband if you knew he was wanking? You do know you should have left him years ago?

@brittleheadgirl I would if he was choosing to do that over make the effort with our sexual relationship

I don't know where to start with the rest. Very abusive behaviour

Did you name change to @dryasaboner ? Nice.

Reread - error sorry

No it's been my name for a long time