Am I normal to feel hurt? (Masturbation)

[hellolittleone]

So me and my partner have been together 3 years and have an 9 month old baby boy. Two days ago he’s ended our relationship over a stupid argument we had and it’s not great at home we don’t talk much but around the baby we act normal. Usually if he breaks things off after a row we are fine after a couple of days of grovelling from whichever one of us was wrong. But this time it’s not so easy and I admit it was my fault. Which I’ve admitted and apologised for.
Here’s my problem...
The past few days since it’s happened he has been leaving underwear he has used to clean up after he’s masturbated, on our bedroom floor for me to wash. Now I usually wouldn’t see this as our sex life is really good and if I did it wouldn’t usually bother me that he’s watched porn etc but to leave them so freely for me to see on the floor I know he wants me to be hurt and I am for some reason. I’m a mess, I’m sleeping on the sofa at night and he’s happily watching porn in our bed at night and getting himself off.
Can anyone please give me some light into why I feel so hurt by this? Do I just wash them as normal and pretend it doesn’t bother me?

Thanks ☺️

@Shellady
You still haven’t answered my question

Sounds like it's time to end this relationship.

[quote JustAnotherOldMan]@Shellady
You still haven’t answered my question[/quote]
A woman can sleep on the sofa sure , I’ve done it myself on occasion , but most certainly not a new mother . That’s totally ridiculous and unreasonable
I’d only expect that question from a person who had zero empathy or no understanding of the process of giving birth and being postpartum
Here’s a question for you
Should a man being respecting his partners post partum recovery and supporting her in feeding their child and recovering from the birth and how would expecting her to sleep on the sofa be doing that ?

@Shellady you have more patience than i do, responding to @JustAnotherOldMan

Jesus Christ. Stop washing his underwear. He’s treating you like a maid & zero respect.

Wtf? Just leave them laying there, dirty bastard. Why are you washing his pants?

@Shellady
Your the first person to to have an actual valid reason, others have posted that he should be on the sofa, but with no reason, just because He is a ‘he’ I suppose, or that she might have a bad back, or something to do with how fights work,,

[quote JustAnotherOldMan]@Shellady
Your the first person to to have an actual valid reason, others have posted that he should be on the sofa, but with no reason, just because He is a ‘he’ I suppose, or that she might have a bad back, or something to do with how fights work,,[/quote]
It’s common sense , she’s the mother of a very young baby . You should have known that was exactly the reason why it’s unreasonable yourself without asking . It was a ridiculous question to ask and completely ignoring the disgusting behaviour of this man and so many men .
Worst , it ignores the very subtle ways men act in very mysogynistic ways by minimising women’s experiences and what we go through bringing children into the world amd in those early years
You really should ask yourself WHY you would even have an expectation on a new mother to do that and why you’d ask such a question
It’s this type of thinking that is the reason women are so often still treated with so little respect
I pity your wife if she had to explain to you her very basic needs during such times

I’m not married, anymore, due to a lying and cheating wife,
Thanks

@JustAnotherOldMan

I’m not married, anymore, due to a lying and cheating wife, Thanks

Sorry to hear that your wife cheated . I’ve also experienced a cheating husband and several cheating men in my life Strangely it hasn’t left me lacking basic empathy

You seem to have very little empathy for women or understanding of what they go through during pregnancy / feeding / life changes
I didn’t actually even ask if you were married ? Did you ever have children . What did you did to support your wife . Would you have made her sleep in the lounge during the years of night feeds ?
I notice that instead of answering my question you were quick to use it as an opportunity to let everyone know your wife cheated . If you’ve been on here a while you’ll notice many many men cheat and men predominate users of sexual services such as prostitutes, cams etc even when married

Btw , You still didn’t answer my question . What exactly do yoh think a mans responsibility is in supporting his partner in the time during and after she had given birth / feeding babies ?

[quote DoItAfraid]@Shellady* you have more patience than i do, responding to *@JustAnotherOldMan [/quote]
I see why you say this
It seems others here have been thu this with @JustAnotherOldMan before

There’s so much to unpack here

You’re adults in a long term relationship
And you break up regularly and then someone has to grovel for days?

You’ve broken up now and he gets your bedroom and you still do his washing?

You’re crying because he’s masturbating?

He’s trying to upset and degrade you?

You’ve apologised and he’s still trying to hurt you?

This sounds like an absolute mess.

And Why on earth would you wash them as normal? You’re not even together? Would you pick up any other adults soiled clothes of the floor and wash them for them?

If you have to pick them up I second the pp suggestion to put them back in his clean underwear drawer

@Shellady

Besides the fact that only a man could possibly expect the mother of a nine month old baby yo sleep on a sofa … I mean it clearly shows a complete ignorance of the absolute toll pregnancy, childbirth qnd feeding take from a woman in those early years and the absolute exhaustion . Having been there four times qnd then at other times having worked multiple jobs I can say without question I was NEVER as absolutely shattered as the year following each child Perhaps anotheroldman thinks the OP should have popped the bub in the magazine basket next to the tv so that she could easily rise for the night feeds whilst hubby was happy in the double bed wanking away and leaving his dirty washing for her Posts like this always highlight to me how me. Just simply have zero idea what women go through

Absolutely. Of course women can sleep on a sofa, but the mum of a young child who is most likely still waking up several times a night dwarves a decent fucking bed to sleep in.

JustAnotherOldMan is probably the husband leaving his filthy undies all over the floor and wondering why OP doesn’t want to have sex with him.

@Shellady
My wife had an affair before we had started a family, but the plan always was that both of us would work hard in our chosen careers and start a family is our 30’s, we me supporting her, turned out her plan was different, we divorced in our 30’s with no children, I met someone else (also with no children), and we both wanted a family.

We (she) had 2 miscarriage, both around 14 week mark, our daughter was born prematurely and died after 2 days, we didn’t try again that, neither of could face going through that again TBH

So do I have children, I suppose No is the answer

Do I empathy, yes and no, what I really feel like doing is reaching into the screen, grabbing these 2 young people and knocking there bloody heads together and tell them that no everyone has the opportunity to have children and for some of us, that opportunity is taken away from us.
Anything else you like to know.?

[quote JustAnotherOldMan]@Shellady
My wife had an affair before we had started a family, but the plan always was that both of us would work hard in our chosen careers and start a family is our 30’s, we me supporting her, turned out her plan was different, we divorced in our 30’s with no children, I met someone else (also with no children), and we both wanted a family.

We (she) had 2 miscarriage, both around 14 week mark, our daughter was born prematurely and died after 2 days, we didn’t try again that, neither of could face going through that again TBH

So do I have children, I suppose No is the answer

Do I empathy, yes and no, what I really feel like doing is reaching into the screen, grabbing these 2 young people and knocking there bloody heads together and tell them that no everyone has the opportunity to have children and for some of us, that opportunity is taken away from us.
Anything else you like to know.?[/quote]
I’m very sorry to hear about that . There’s no tragedy like losing a child
I do feel however that that’s not what this post or the question to you was about at all . It was about whether you can appreciate all that women go through in various life changes , not at all limited to having children
Including pregnancies , feeding, menopause hormones the whole shebang
Yes having children is an amazing blessing that not everyone gets to experience however that doesn’t take away the fact that it’s an incredible toll on women and there’s a lot of mysogyny around devaluing that
Coming on to a post and bring in all this anger that you seem to have towards these ‘ two people who’s heads you want to bang together ‘ seems misguided when in fact this woman has done nothing wrong and this man is behaving in a disgusting way