Am I being disrespectful??

[Izzy2021]

So it’s my birthday… today! My bf who I’ve been with a year didn’t plan anything or get anything for me. I dropped him to the station last night to go home and he messaged me at 9pm saying oh we should have had a drink or something.
I told him 9pm is too late and it’s not acceptable to start making plans at that time.
Today I finished work at 9.30 and he said we should get a drink and I said I couldn’t collect him (he doesn’t drive) and he said have a good night then. He messaged me at 10am saying he loved me and would I like to get food at the weekend but I made plans with my kids as he left it too late.
He then acted surprised that I was disappointed so I told him minimal effort and wishy washy interest is not gonna work for me. And even my daughter managed to get me a card!
He then responds: you’re disrespecting me trying to make me look bad. However I never swore or lost my cool just stated what’s on my mind.
And he finally responded ‘that’s the last time you disrespect me’.

Now my question is: am I being a brat or disrespectful? And what are your thoughts about this situation or interaction?

Dump him, both for his attitude towards your birthday and his attitude towards you picking him up on it.

Make that your birthday gift to yourself. Happy birthday!

What a dick. He’s disrespecting you and didn’t like you being honest that it’s not good enough.

Please cut your losses. He sounds really pathetic and you don’t “love” from someone like that.

Love is showing care and consideration. Paying attention if you’re told you’ve done something to upset them. It’s not whatever this guy is peddling.

You deserve better.

Urghhh you deserve better than that! Also happy birthday 🥳

He hasn't bought you a card after a year together, then blames you on your birthday?!!
No way OP. After a recent bad experience with someone no way on earth would I accept this.
Happy Birthday, don't doubt yourself. Your feelings are valid 🌺

Omg....Don't disrespect me?. What a knob . Dump him now Have some pride and respect and kick him out of your life . Happy birthday 🎉

I didn't think you were rude but it does sound like he was making an effort and you were being slightly awkward. Expectations are what ruin things for us. Maybe you feel that wasn't good enough for your birthday but it was still an effort on his part.

Happy Birthday!
He's twisting it because he knows he's in the wrong, it's now your fault and you're disrespecting him! Ridiculous! You're better than that!

He sounds awful, after a year together he couldn't even manage a card and a gift for your birthday. And he cant drive, ugh just another giant mankid to have to ferry about, too useless to even organise a birthday card and then makes nasty threats when called out on it. There's nothing there to respect. Be hopeful you don't hear from him again, but I bet you will - be strong and get rid, it will only go downhill from here.

Birthdays are for children.

Not 'swearing or losing his cool' over HIM ignoring your birthday is normal behaviour, why is he making a thing of it?

Honestly. He sounds awful from what you've written.

Is he very young?

Ugh, he's vile and reminds me of my ex. I remember him using that very term when I once went up to bed without saying goodnight to him ( he was smoking outside, before coming up himself ) It didn't escalate, as I dumped him sharpish. Please consider doing the same Op

And he finally responded ‘that’s the last time you disrespect me’.

That sounds scarily like a threat!

Happy Birthday ... I think you already know what present you should give yourself.

He’s a wanker; dump him.
Happy Birthday though.

@0None0

Birthdays are for children.

Oh, fuck off

I’m not too bothered about birthdays and it does seem like he was making some kind of effort in trying to arrange a meal for your birthday though it was last minute. That wouldn’t bother me but how he responded would. His response sounds like a threat.

Haha @ that is the last time you disrespect me'

Yep, off you pop.

Dump him.

Tell him to sod off!

that’s the last time you disrespect me - to me, that sounds like he has dumped you.

In which case, he’s done you a favour. He sounds like an idiot.

He's someone who thinks you raising anything which could in some tiny way be seen as criticism of him is 'disrespectful', that speaks volumes to me and I would be dumping and blocking him immediately if I were you. Respect is earned and it doesn't sound like he's done a lot to earn yours so I'm not sure what made him think he was due any tbh. And yes, the 'that's the last time....' comment does sound an awful lot like a threat

You have different expectations of what should be done on birthdays. You could probably work on that and come to an agreement.

The way he reacted is totally unacceptable and a huge red flag. I wouldn't even try to get past it.

I'm sorry you went through that. Give yourself the present of not having to spend any more time with him. Dump him and you'll have much better birthdays in future.

Hugs x

He's a dick. Dump him, sounds like a selfish cock lodger type.

Wow! He thinks it’s okay to speak to an independent adult like that? Happy birthday, btw… He sounds like he’s got issues.

you’re disrespecting me trying to make me look bad.

And he finally responded ‘that’s the last time you disrespect me’.

That would be his last words to me ever .... this language is not acceptable in any way shape or form., he made no effort to say Happy Birthday or leave a card as a gesture.. then uses language like this because you've made plans with your family..

Block the Dick 🌸

he sounds a right dick.