Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Split of housework

30 replies

Sunnidayz · 11/07/2021 19:28

DH and I both work full time from home, we have no kids or pets.

I am feeling a bit annoyed because DH has been home all day and there was still dirty dishes in the sink from last night. I'd been out with a friend and am sorting dinner tonight, so I ended up doing the dishes as well. He's watching a TV series.

I do the majority of the meals, I don't really cook from scratch very often because I'm not that great at cooking myself and he's super fussy about food (has Asperger's and there's lots he won't eat due to textures etc) but as it stands I sort dinner for us both around 3 times a week, we usually get a takeaway at the weekend or sometimes go out for dinner. I try to have a couple of nights where I cook for myself so can have healthy food/eat the things I like that he doesn't. He will cook (burgers or pasta) once a week usually.

Housework wise he will occasionally do the dishes and hoover. He said he likes hoovering. He does forget sometimes (says he doesn't see any dirt etc) so I sometimes end up doing that as well. I do majority of dishes (previously we'd have it done by whomever wasn't making dinner) but now he's said whoever makes dinner should wash up too. Occasionally he will start washing up himself and I feel guilty about it for some stupid reason.

I clean the bathroom, wash towels and bedding and hang it out (both do our own clothes). Put bins out and bring it in. Mow lawn and other gardening stuff (including trimming tall tree branches). I also do all the driving as he doesn't have a UK licence yet, and handle all the life admin, bills and appointments, most holiday bookings etc. He gives me some money each month toward bills.

Should he be pulling his weight more? I suggested a rota once and he just laughed. Just feeling a bit annoyed tonight I guess, shame because I had a nice day.

OP posts:
isitsummertimeyet · 13/07/2021 10:49

my wife will dust more than me, mops the kitchen and cleans the bathrooms

I tend to wash up more, cook dinners for her and the 2 kids most nights and weekend., i hover more,

we both cut the grass, walk the dog, put clothes away, change bedding, general tidy

I prob do more but I am home before her as we both work so it would be silly of me to just not get it knocked out rather than be petty leaving it because its her turn.

category12 · 13/07/2021 12:43

it would be silly of me to just not get it knocked out rather than be petty leaving it because its her turn

It would, in cases where the person is not taking the absolute piss.

In cases where someone is taking the piss, "forgetting" their jobs and leaving the other person to routinely pick up their share of the housework, it is not petty at all.

Sunnidayz · 15/07/2021 21:25

True it won't get better as things stand. Perhaps if I write a list of what we both currently do and show him it might make him realise. He tends to do better with the written word rather than speaking about things.

OP posts:
category12 · 16/07/2021 10:24

Write it with him. Make him think about what's involved. Make him take ownership.

Presenting him with a list is just you taking responsibility.

YeokensYegg · 16/07/2021 12:14

Definitely settle it once and for all to divide up the chores fairly.
He also needs to get his driver's license straight away. exchange or provisional.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread