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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What’s the most bizarreness thing you’ve been told by your abusive partner?

118 replies

Fightingback16 · 09/07/2021 18:26

I remember today my ex husband who was emotionally abusive paid for someone to remotely cleanse (300 miles away) our house from all the bad energy causing me to be a shit wife.

When I opened the envelope with the findings a shit loads of confetti fell out.

7 years later and I’m cracking up at the bonkersness of it all.

OP posts:
NCforArseholeStory · 10/07/2021 13:47

Cheers, @SantanaBinLorry Wine

Knittingnanny · 10/07/2021 13:54

I’m so sorry that such horrid abuse is still happening now.
Many y ars ago in the 1980’s my emotionally and financially abusive exH, a pillar of local society, told me that I would lose custody of our baby and toddler if I left him. Because he apparently had a file of evidence against me which would prove I was an unfit and mentally disturbed woman. That sadly meant it was another 4 years before I was brave enough to run away.
He didn’t have a file, he didn’t ask for custody and I was not a disturbed woman. I’ve never told my eldest children the details and have decided not to as they have a reasonable relationship with their father and are nothing like him emotionally or financially. I did explain it a little to my daughter in laws.

Bbub · 10/07/2021 15:54

"yes I abused you, but that doesn't make me an abuser"

Original poster
Fightingback16 · 10/07/2021 17:07

Haha mine said that in court, my actions were abusive and I have read up about abuse but I’m not abusive.

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 10/07/2021 19:19

I actually wished someone would knock on my door and tell me my ex has died. That would be like all my Christmas and birthdays in one.

Toddlersareirrational · 10/07/2021 20:06

Think that must be a common theme, my ex admits abusing me but in the next breath will say "I'm not this bad person you make me out to be" 😂

VienneseWhirligig · 10/07/2021 21:34

There are just so many cunts out there.

My delightful ex:

  • wouldn't let me read magazines like Cosmo or New Woman, he came home from work one night to see me reading Cosmo and there was a photo of a topless Brad Pitt. He ripped the magazine up, kicked me downstairs with the pieces of magazine onto the main road, then made me put them in the public waste bin because he wasn't having that filth in his flat (that was actually my tenancy).I had been wearing just a t-shirt, as I had just had a bath, so was half naked and barefoot. He was so angry he forgot to bring keys and we were locked out, so we had to get the fire brigade to get us back in (flat above a shop so couldn't just kick door down). Got a beating for making him do that and for letting the firemen see me half naked
  • forced me to have an abortion by telling me he would kick the baby out of me if I didn't, he was very violent and I knew he meant it
  • forced me to abandon my little sister (who was 7 at the time) in an empty football stadium because she had said something slightly cheeky. Her screams as she watched him drag me out of the stadium still haunt me.
Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 10/07/2021 21:38

Sad I hope you went back and got her @VienneseWhirligig

Maggiesgirl · 10/07/2021 21:50

@Nonmaquillee @prettypinkflamingo it was a very long time ago now, in fact 40 years ago. DS has grown into a wonderful man, married with a DD of his own.
We had a non molestation order, and he was only allowed to see DS under supervision. That lasted 6 months, after that he never bothered turning up.

16 years later I married a wonderful man, we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this year.

prettypinkflamingo · 10/07/2021 21:52

[quote Maggiesgirl]**@Nonmaquillee* @prettypinkflamingo* it was a very long time ago now, in fact 40 years ago. DS has grown into a wonderful man, married with a DD of his own.
We had a non molestation order, and he was only allowed to see DS under supervision. That lasted 6 months, after that he never bothered turning up.

16 years later I married a wonderful man, we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this year.[/quote]
Thank you for this update. I'm so pleased to hear you've had a good life with your DS, husband and family Thanks

VienneseWhirligig · 10/07/2021 22:06

@Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese no, I wasn't able to. He was much bigger than me and his fingers were entwined in my hair and the other hand was around my neck. He dragged me into the car and drove off. She wasn't alone for long (the reason we were there at all in an empty stadium was because my dad worked there, she knew the staff so her screams drew attention). She was more scared at seeing me being dragged off than being alone. I am so ashamed about it but also couldn't realistically have done much more. It was before the days of mobile phones as well so I couldn't alert anyone.

Frankola · 11/07/2021 20:58

My ex threw me into the road one night on a night out.

I hit my head in the road and was struggling to get up when I heard a car approaching.

I knew I couldn't get up in time and I really thought the car was going to hit me.

He saw the car, came into the road and made a huge scene of helping me up and telling the guy in the car I was drunk and had fallen.

Evil bastard

Dacquoise · 11/07/2021 21:21

My first boyfriend told me I was the reason he tried to kill himself - five years before he even met me. The time space continuum must have been rocking it then!

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 13/07/2021 22:51

Told me the baby I lost probably wasn’t his anyway.

Pushed me down a flight of stairs and gaslighted me into believing I fell and it was my own fault.

Told me I’d completely invented seeing a message on his phone from one of his many OW.

Bought a burner phone and sent himself a message from a man who’d slept with me on a night out (no such man existed.)

Bought a burner phone and texted me sexual comments so he could accuse me of sexting other men.

Made me sit in a room while he detailed how he’d had much better sex with multiple other women.

Signed up to fabswingers and laughed at me when I caught him and read the reviews of his meet ups.

Left me bleeding on the floor when I finally cracked and slit my wrist in front of him to make him stop.

Tossblanket · 14/07/2021 05:58

This thread is fucking brutal Flowers

Ahbump · 14/07/2021 07:43

He use to tell me I did not do anything right
The way I ran, walked , cooked , dressed and my job was crap
He would come home drunk punch me in the head so hard my head would spin and make me feel like I had imagined it the next day .
He pressured me to have 2 abortions

He was a narc on every level but I have never told anyone about it so too this day people think he’s great and he has a successful job and nice life ! I hope karma gets the fucker !

Bogeyes · 14/07/2021 07:46

Where do men like this learn this behaviour? Are they all nasty to their own mothers?

Ahbump · 14/07/2021 08:01

@ Bogeyes good questions my ex was vile to his own family and all they did was adore him

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