Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Checking partners phone

81 replies

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 15:51

I dont always do it but something just came over me and I looked at my partners phone when he was in the shower. There was a message from an unknown number with a local address saying" I'm now here" it was 11 o clock that the message was received on a night he was out at his friend's, He got in about 11.40 that night. I checked the number on Google and it's an escort. I'm currently pregnant with our 2nd baby and we also have a 6 month old, we are very intimate , I have no idea why he would stray.. he says it was just a random message.. but would they send you their address if it was a random message . I've cried my heart out over this , he's completely denied it all. I'd just like to know the truth so I can deal with it but he says he doesn't know how he got the message . I want to believe him but it's just so unbelieve.. what do you think. He's not young , he's in his 50s tia

OP posts:
Mountaingoatling · 04/07/2021 15:57

I wouldn't believe him either. Can you access his phone again and check his location history to see if he was at the address..or ask him to do it in front of you?

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 16:00

@Mountaingoatling

I wouldn't believe him either. Can you access his phone again and check his location history to see if he was at the address..or ask him to do it in front of you?
Do I know how I would do that on a Samsung? I don't think he would know either.thanks
OP posts:
AhNowTed · 04/07/2021 16:00

Far too much of a coincidence that the one "random" message just happens to be an escort.

TooWicked · 04/07/2021 16:01

He would be incredibly unlucky if, the one time he receives a random message which just happens to be from an escort, is the exact same time you decide to check his phone.

Sorry OP, you're right, that is totally unbelievable.

Your gut feeling told you to check his phone so whether it's unconscious or not, you know all is not right in your relationship. And now you know, he's been seeing escorts.

Mountaingoatling · 04/07/2021 16:03

Go to the Google Apps Icon

Then click on Google Maps

Then Click on saved

At the top of the screen will be boxes with dates on. Click on yesterday and it will show all the locations he has visited with photos from Google Earth

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 16:05

I have no idea why he would do this though , he's always telling me how lucky he is to have found me and how I'm his soul mate , I just can't take it in

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/07/2021 16:08

He is 100% lying and he's most likely been using escorts for years.

chickenyhead · 04/07/2021 16:15

I'm sorry OP Flowers

I just don't see how he accidentally received a text from an escort which was mid conversation. A normal reply to an unknown text would be "who is this?"

minnimiss · 04/07/2021 16:16

Yep you've totally caught him out he's just trying to wriggle out of it because he thinks is you can't prove it, his best tactic is to deny until you have more evidence. If you can get into his location you could call the number and ask her? She might tell you. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Trust your instincts though. They are rarely wrong

AgentJohnson · 04/07/2021 16:46

I have no idea why he would do this though.

For some men, being able to is enough.

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 17:30

Thankyou all so much . I'm going to do this with him tonight when he gets in. I tried calling the number but went to answer phone so I made him phone it and a non English girl answered and he just kept saying who is this to her

OP posts:
MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 17:35

Thankyou all so much , I'm going to get him to do this tonight. I called the number but went to answerphone, so I got him to phone in front of me and it was a non English girl , he just kept saying hello who is this to her , I couldn't hear what she was saying

OP posts:
Flyinggeese1 · 04/07/2021 17:43

Sorry OP he’s definitely lying.

Calmyertits · 04/07/2021 17:50

Google maps > saved > then scroll to the bottom where it says timeline. Go to the day in question and itll tell you where he was.

layladomino · 04/07/2021 17:52

He claims it was a random message? What are the chances of a random text coming through which refers to a local address? On a night when he was out. If he thinks you'll believe that then he must think you're stupid. My guess he knows that isn't believable but it's his only hope of getting away with it. He's going to try to brazen it out, and as you can't prove it, that you'll forget all about it.

It's unlikely it's the only time he's contacted an escort (that would be doubly coincidental).

Do you think you ought to get a check up, op? Also, bear in mind you felt the need to check his phone. Perhaps something was 'off' which made you do that?

MMmomDD · 04/07/2021 17:52

Check if there were cash withdrawals on that night.
But otherwise - unless the address is nearby, or on the way from his friend to your house - there isn’t all that much time for an actual escort visit.

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 17:55

Thankyou all xx

OP posts:
me4real · 04/07/2021 18:01

I have no idea why he would do this though , he's always telling me how lucky he is to have found me and how I'm his soul mate

Words are easy to say and by saying them he gets what he wants from you, what he gets from your relationship, whhatever it might be.

He might even thing he means it, but also want and have sex with a prostitute.

It's highly unlikely that the prostitute texted the wrong number by mistake.

I would try and find where he's been on his phone (I'd struggle to do so too) but even if I couldn't find that info I'd still think it 99.9% likely he met up and had some sort of sexual interaction with a prostitute.

me4real · 04/07/2021 18:02

He might not even have met her at her place, they might've met up somewhere else for some reason.

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 18:04

@MMmomDD

Check if there were cash withdrawals on that night. But otherwise - unless the address is nearby, or on the way from his friend to your house - there isn’t all that much time for an actual escort visit.
It takes 20 mins around to get from his friends to home and the girl text and 11 , thats the only believable bit out of it all , it probably would of had to be over really quick for him to actually do anything
OP posts:
RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder · 04/07/2021 18:06

Don’t tell him what you’re going to look at on his phone. Say you want to check he hasn’t had anymore messages. You don’t want him clearing his location history before you can check it.

Either way it’s not good. The odds of a random text being local and at a time when he was out are ridiculously small. You don’t need more evidence.

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 18:07

On more Googling with the address it seems to come under hotel , so possible apartment

OP posts:
me4real · 04/07/2021 18:10

@MMmomDD I suppose he could've squeezed in asking for a 30min slot. A lot of women pay per act rather than time, so for instance giving a bloke oral could easily have been done in that time, or even sex. Or they hurry the bloke to completion so they've finished a job faster.

Maybe he even just thought about it and didn't follow through. @MumsTheWord1010 At the very least he seriously considered it, enough to have arranged it.

me4real · 04/07/2021 18:12

Maybe him and his mate had her round to his mate's house. After all, it's not standard for her to say 'I am here' about her own flat maybe.

MumsTheWord1010 · 04/07/2021 18:14

@RinderTinderNotRinderGrinder

Don’t tell him what you’re going to look at on his phone. Say you want to check he hasn’t had anymore messages. You don’t want him clearing his location history before you can check it.

Either way it’s not good. The odds of a random text being local and at a time when he was out are ridiculously small. You don’t need more evidence.

Yes , I said this to him
OP posts: