Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you be OK with your husband/wife going on holiday with a female/male friend?

91 replies

mag2305 · 01/07/2021 21:33

This doesn't relate directly to myself and my husband but we were just chatting about our friends. The wife has gone on holiday with a man whilst her husband has stayed at home. This is a friend that she used to date a while ago but they are just friends now. Her husband is OK with it according to my dh (his friend originally).

So I asked my dh if he'd be OK if I went on holiday with a male friend. He said he'd be fine with it because we have children and he knows nothing would happen. He's right, it wouldn't, although I'm not sure what his point is about children. However, I don't think I'd feel OK about it if it was the other way around.

Would you be OK with your other half going on holiday with a male/female friend?

OP posts:
CallMeGregorSamsa · 01/07/2021 21:35

No

MistyFrequencies · 01/07/2021 21:36

Yes. Wouldnt bother me.

myfuckingfreezer · 01/07/2021 21:41

Friend wouldn't bother me but someone they used to date crosses the line.

But honestly it really depends on their relationship with their friend and on yours with your partner

Bridezillamaybe · 01/07/2021 21:56

No

BoxHedge · 01/07/2021 21:58

No way!

AnaViaSalamanca · 01/07/2021 22:00

I think it really depends on the context.

SmokeyDevil · 01/07/2021 22:05

Nope. Mainly because he's using our money to go on holiday with another woman, and I'm not getting a holiday. Don't believe he would cheat, it's the fact someone else got chosen, not me.

Someone they used to date too is really crossing a line. I'd never be happy if he went on holiday with an ex.

Suffolkpunch345 · 01/07/2021 22:16

No! Unless the opposite sex person was related!

Possibly I could understand if it was going as a group as a part of a hobby ? E.g a horse back riding holiday

IHateCoronavirus · 01/07/2021 22:19

I wouldn’t like it. DH is the original
Mr Morals but it just wouldn’t sit right.

HeronLanyon · 01/07/2021 22:20

Yes but if they had a previous relationship I’d need to think carefully. My own dp’s ex dp absolutely no problem - we are all friends and I know there is no interest AT All In/by either of them for each other.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 01/07/2021 22:23

No I wouldn’t be happy. My partner works with mainly women and they sometimes go for meals out as a group or text each other and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, but him going on holiday with one female friend while I’m sat at home by myself doesn’t sit right with me. Each to their own though.

Babymamamama · 01/07/2021 22:24

I would assume they have an open relationship. But just not advertising it too widely…

daffodildays1 · 01/07/2021 22:26

Totally depends on the friend, my husbands best friend is a female.. they've never been away but go out for meals etc, wouldn't bother me in the slightest if they went away together. They were friends way before he met me so I don't see it any different to if it was a male beat friend.

Any other female, I wouldn't be happy with that.

MushMonster · 01/07/2021 22:27

Nope! I would be ok if they are in a larger group of friends, but just the two of them,not happy at all! I think I would follow them and spy tbf

CallMeGregorSamsa · 01/07/2021 22:32

I have been on holiday with women who were lesbian or bisexual but in a committed relationship and it wasn't weird. I have been on holiday with men and it always felt weird at some point even if the men were gay.

Recessed · 01/07/2021 22:34

Definitely not! Not in a million years. I don't know anyone who would be okay with this.

Recessed · 01/07/2021 22:34

Especially since they have a history! Madness

sunnyday24 · 01/07/2021 22:37

I’d find this odd! If it was a group of mixed genders, no problem at all. To go with one guy? Veryyyyy odd especially given they have history 🤔

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 01/07/2021 22:37

I went for a weekend away with my friends husband because of a mutual interest, we both wanted to see a particular exhibition.
My dh regularly goes away for work. Sometimes it's just him and a female.
Doesn't bother us.

I wouldn't be happy him going away with an ex though.

Comedycook · 01/07/2021 22:39

Hell no

Aquamarine1029 · 01/07/2021 22:39

A spouse going on holiday with a former lover? That's just fucking ridiculous and asking for trouble.

GirlAloud · 01/07/2021 22:41

Depends entirely on the people & circumstances. If it was an old university friend who I knew well and trusted, then fine. If it was, for example, a work colleague who I didn’t know, then no way.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/07/2021 22:42

I'd be fine with it normally, but not if it was an ex.

Unsuremover · 01/07/2021 22:42

I’ll flounce off in a minute cause I always get offended but my dh does this. He has god awful taste in music. I went to 1 music festival once for 2 days abs it seemed to last 6 months. So now he goes with an otherwise sane woman who like terrible music. On the flip side I have a riveting (abs outting) hobby which take me off over night. One of the people I go with is an ex, dh knows and is fine with it. We have always said that if you feel like you are going to cheat it’s time to end the relationship. Works for us.

WantingToWonder · 01/07/2021 22:48

I'm with @GirlAloud. Depends on circumstances.

If it was a women DP had.known for years then no problem. A new friend he had just discovered then yes I'd have a problem. I'd also be pissed off if it left us skint, I was left looking after the child's with no option of a holiday for myself / the family.

I'm pretty sure I could go away with several of my friends DP's and they wouldn't suspect we were having an affair.