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Original poster

Would you be OK with your husband/wife going on holiday with a female/male friend?

91 replies

mag2305 · 01/07/2021 21:33

This doesn't relate directly to myself and my husband but we were just chatting about our friends. The wife has gone on holiday with a man whilst her husband has stayed at home. This is a friend that she used to date a while ago but they are just friends now. Her husband is OK with it according to my dh (his friend originally).

So I asked my dh if he'd be OK if I went on holiday with a male friend. He said he'd be fine with it because we have children and he knows nothing would happen. He's right, it wouldn't, although I'm not sure what his point is about children. However, I don't think I'd feel OK about it if it was the other way around.

Would you be OK with your other half going on holiday with a male/female friend?

OP posts:
Perfectlystill · 01/07/2021 22:51

No

Nevth · 01/07/2021 23:00

Sure it depends on the situation (exes may be iffy), but in general, of course that's not an issue.

Last year I went on a holiday with one of my best male friends - it was a week of sea kayaking in Scotland, and it was a course with a group of other people. My partner would rather have stabbed himself in the eye with a fork rather than join. He also had a lot of fun laughing at our stories of falling in! My friend's partner felt the same. I've also been on more traditional city holidays with male friends.

Honestly I could not be in a relationship with someone who didn't trust me on this - what's the point? I spend my days working with only men and have zero romantic interest. I think any hesitation on this says more about the stability of the relationship, to be honest.

QueenBee52 · 01/07/2021 23:01

No..

DukeofEarlGrey · 01/07/2021 23:10

Nope.

Original poster
mag2305 · 01/07/2021 23:14

It's a strange one. I know our friends do take separate holidays sometimes anyway as they're both from different countries. So they're used to doing their own thing. However, I feel a bit uneasy about the used to date part of the friendship.
One of my good friends is male and I have been on holiday with him but it was part of a group holiday and before I met my dh. The funny thing was, he was the only man in a group of women and was married. Imagine a Kevin from Motherland type situation, lol!!

OP posts:
Bananarice · 01/07/2021 23:23

Yes. But mainly because dh is almost a workaholic. I need some more time spent with me/ our family.

ginbramble · 01/07/2021 23:25

Yes absolutely fine. We both have opposite sex friends and have both been on overnight trips with said friends. No issues, no jealousy, complete trust.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 01/07/2021 23:27

if they used to date - no fucking way would I be ok with it.
it's weird and I don't see what possible legit reason there could be for it

otherwise I don't know. maybe not, maybe yes. depends on the person, where they are going, for how long, why, is it just them or a larger group and anyway why the fuck am I not invited?!

MyNameForToday1980 · 01/07/2021 23:30

Old friend, shared hobby/interest, sure thing.

New friend, ex lover, or instead of a holiday with me...no way.

DragonDoor · 01/07/2021 23:30

If it was someone I knew too, I wouldn’t have a problem with it in theory , but it would really depend on the type of holiday.

We have some different interests, so there are certain things we won’t do together, but a sun, sea, sand type break we would only do together.

Horehound · 01/07/2021 23:32

I'd be fine with it but jealous I don't get to go too lol

KohlaParasanda · 01/07/2021 23:48

We have female friends who are good at a sport DH enjoys and I don't, and I wouldn't mind him going away for a few days with any of them, but the suggestion has never arisen. Otherwise the assumption is that going on holiday is something we do together. I wouldn't tolerate him clinging to an ex-girlfriend or a longstanding female friend to the extent that he went on holiday with them instead of me.

TedMullins · 02/07/2021 00:40

Yes, it’s healthy to hang out with your friends away from your partner. If they’re an ex it puts a slightly different spin on it though

TedMullins · 02/07/2021 00:42

@Nevth

Sure it depends on the situation (exes may be iffy), but in general, of course that's not an issue.

Last year I went on a holiday with one of my best male friends - it was a week of sea kayaking in Scotland, and it was a course with a group of other people. My partner would rather have stabbed himself in the eye with a fork rather than join. He also had a lot of fun laughing at our stories of falling in! My friend's partner felt the same. I've also been on more traditional city holidays with male friends.

Honestly I could not be in a relationship with someone who didn't trust me on this - what's the point? I spend my days working with only men and have zero romantic interest. I think any hesitation on this says more about the stability of the relationship, to be honest.

Completely agree. Also, I’m bi, and some of my partners have been bi too (of both sexes). Are we not allowed to go on holiday with anyone?
MorriseysGladioli · 02/07/2021 00:46

I think I would be imagining all sorts, which is probably my issue, but I would not like it at all.

Monty27 · 02/07/2021 01:32

Absolutely not OP and I have every reason not to ever again

ShrikeAttack · 02/07/2021 01:36

Old friend of the opposite sex? Fine.

Ex-lover? Not fine.

Onthedunes · 02/07/2021 01:43

No, don't be silly.

Susannahmoody · 02/07/2021 02:11

Er, no. If you say yes you were born yesterday. Guaranteed they're fucking

Suzi888 · 02/07/2021 03:10

No, because I like holidays! Grin

cariadlet · 02/07/2021 03:38

Before we had dd, my dp went abroad for a friend's wedding. He went for a couple of weeks and I didn't want to go with him.

While he was away, I went away for a few days with a male friend. Dp was fine about it. He has some female friends that I'd be happy for him to go away with.

The difference is, these aren't exes. I wouldn't be happy for dp to go on holiday with someone with whom he had a romantic past and I wouldn't do that to him.

hawkehurstgang · 02/07/2021 05:08

No

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 02/07/2021 06:41

Depends who it was. A female who he’d known a long time no problem at all .
An ex, I’d have a problem with that yes.

DinosaurDiana · 02/07/2021 06:44

No.

Lovelydiscusfish · 02/07/2021 06:56

No - and I don’t consider myself a very jealous person!

My fella is friends with a woman he dated briefly, and o have no problem with that - him seeing her in a group, even him meeting up with her individually for a bit. But if he chose to go away with her, he wouldn’t be coming back to me.

Similarly I have a friend I used to date, who actually recently did offer to take me away with him. If I had accepted, I believe that would have ended my relationship.

And we are what might be considered a very liberal couple, in many ways. But there are still lines, and this would cross one for me…..

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