The One Where Geller Proves He Is As Useful As A Chocolate Teapot

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Hear that ticking my lovelies?

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

That’s the sound of the bomb I have just thrown over the metaphorical trench edge at Geller. Here’s the previous thread if you need to catch up. As ever, thank you for the support and the cheering and the banter and for giving me fresh perspectives.

I am fucking DONE. Done with this. I need to stand up and fight for the girls. He is NEVER going to do what he needs to for them.

So I picked them up from school and they were quiet but ok. We’ve had pizza in our pjs and they’re asleep. I have had a barrage of questions about who I have seen this weekend and what I’ve been doing and why am I wearing new clothes and do I have new friends and am I working as much as I should be etc etc. Clearly fed by him, they’ve never done that before.

Then I get this (he hadn’t responded to my previous message at all)

How is DD1?

We can talk albeit I have very little time in the next few days. Strangely someone praised me this weekend for how well I dealt with one of her meltdowns. She really struggled with the homework. Together we bought various materials while DD2 was having her hair cut. But of course when she made it, it didn’t go well. However she and I did it together first thing Sunday before DD2 woke and she did it brilliantly.

It was DD1 that led our walk while DD2 was a pain and tried to stop us going, finally relenting after the first field.

Both of them played brilliantly with the boys over the other side of the fence. But it’s the usual challenge of when they are on their own in a small space. It’s simply a very intense thing single parenting. And I can’t break DD1 on sleeping alone and I’m not prepared for it to become tears and anger. As I say she ended up watching the football and was engrossed.

So I said

I also have very little time. So I’ll leave it to you to figure it out.

She is in bed, asleep, with clean hair. They have both been quiet and we have talked about zero tolerance for violence, shouting and arguing. and what that means and the importance of kind words and being gentle and how to act when you’re angry and that you need to be mindful of the words that come out of your mouth as they can upset people. I repeat, next week I will email to discuss the shape of the next school year as it sounds like the current arrangement isn't working for the girls if they are that short of sleep and upset at the start of the school week. The girls need you in their life but it needs to come at a lower emotional cost for them and for me.

I would like to make you aware the level of messaging is unwelcome, and that I am looking to address this and agree on appropriate levels of communication moving forward.

I await the nuclear explosion which will no doubt follow.

I. Am. Done.

@pointythings

I think I'm going to choose to be a complete heretic. I will put the cream and the jam in a bowl, stir it through until it's nice and swirled and then apply the mixture to the scone. I'm foreign, so I can.

I love Bude! We pop down quite often 😊

Loving the talk on scones🤤
Does anyone else add strawberries on the top too?
Obviously only when the clotted cream is last on, no one wants jammy strawberries😂

I don’t eat fruit if I can avoid it 😂😂 apparently I’m a heathen because I prefer apricot jam on my scones (on top of the cream obviously)

I would love to join in, but have coeliac disease. Gluten free scones taste like disappointment. There is no point. (Also on keto diet to send arse back up from behind knees back to where it should be, but that’s a whole other story….)

Sainsbury's do a 70p or so scone mix so you can have freshly baked ones for minimal effort!! Sweet mix though.

Exmouth or Sidmouth are within striking distance of where we are staying. Just pointing that out...

I am rubbish at scones but fortunately DD can make amazing ones with the lemonade method

The point at which you realise you marriage may be a battle against adversity…

@Justilou1

I would love to join in, but have coeliac disease. Gluten free scones taste like disappointment. There is no point. (Also on keto diet to send arse back up from behind knees back to where it should be, but that’s a whole other story….)

I believe a large bowl of strawberries and clotted cream counts as Keto? Extra large to account for the absence of sconeyness.

@Poshjock

The point at which you realise you marriage may be a battle against adversity…

Adversity? I threatened divorce!

@Justilou1 I have a gluten intolerance but have the most amazing gf scone recipe and no one can tell the difference

How’s tricks @StuckInPollyannaMode??

Hope everyone is coping in the heat.

I’m now going to make scones this weekend and it’s totally all of the dollies’ fault

[quote SortingItOut]@Justilou1 I have a gluten intolerance but have the most amazing gf scone recipe and no one can tell the difference[/quote]
Do tell!!! I'm Coeliac and would love to know it!

@NeverDropYourMooncup - yes to strawberries and cream, thank goodness. It’s an occasional treat. (Prefer to save my carbs for wine 🤗)
@SortingItOut -Thank you, but am also on keto diet permanently because of migraines. I am soooooo boring!

I did GF scones recently, and they turned out pretty good. Of course, fresh from the oven helps! I just use a standard recipe, and the M&S free from flour. It's genius, that flour.

Hello Polly and scone lovers,
May I say I grew up in a country that doesn't have clotted cream but does have scones. We either buttered them hot with jam or ate cold with whipped cream. Now whipped cream consistency can't take a big blob of jam on top, it's a messy epic failure, so that means it was always jam on the bottom.

Then I moved to the UK, discovered clotted cream (jury's still out, it's a bit like weird tasting butter and can be a bit 'much') and the "debate". I confess, I kind of don't care, I just want a nice jammy scone. And I still prefer it with proper whipped cream

One if my best ever memories of my young adulthood was when my big bro came to see me in Bristoll, we went (in his mini traveller!) to visit Cheddar caves, & then...
We had a DOUBLE, double jersey cream vanilla cornet, with clotted cream on top & a flake.
We both still remember it with stars in our eyes decades later🥰

Honestly. I take my eye off you lot for ten minutes and the next thing I know there’s civil war abrewing.

The wedding we went to the other weekend was v v near Tamar! If only I’d known.

I baked cheese scones for the very first time the other week. Then scoffed the lot.

No Geller news. Other than it was soooo much less stressful packing to go away without him being there. I have left a clean and tidy house ready to return to. Already want to go back.

I’m struggling. Arrived at my parents today and now the scales have fallen from my eyes I can see straight through her.

It’s horrid. In bed and feeling very tearful.

I am shocked you've gone to your parents.

Can you cut is short?

Cut the "holiday" short and go home. You don't have to put up with this shit any more. Nor do your girls need to learn that this is acceptable behaviour. (it isn't)

@AcrossthePond55 I use Becky Excel's recipe - glutenfreecuppatea.co.uk/2019/03/28/gluten-free-scones-recipe-vegan-low-fodmap/

I don't use Xantham Gum or GF Baking Powder and they turn out great.

OP,
Not good for you to be around your mothet.

She is not a positive person in your life.
Leaving early and do not engage with her bullshit.

You can do this.

@StuckInPollyannaMode I'm sorry things are not great at your parents, how long are you there for?

Its fine to cry about the relationship with your mum, it hurts so much to realise how toxic the dynamic has been for years without you realising.

The positive is that you have realised and hopefully you can put boundaries in place.
Remember though that abusive people hate boundaries and so she is likely to push even harder against them.

I really feel for you, I have a very 'strained' relationship with my mother so I limit visits to 45mins every week and most of the visit is taken up with general chat about the rest of the family and playing with my little niece who lives there with my brother.
Any longer and her true colours start to show.
I'm always amazed by people who are very close to their mothers.

Have some 💐 and 💞

Sorry to hear you’re feeling upset. Have you ever talked to your mum about how she makes you feel? Or would that not go down well? Try to be kind to yourself and completely agree you should cut the trip short if you want to. Do what is best for you, don’t feel you are duty bound to stay there