Job interview and not telling DH

[DHandInterview]

I have a job interview this week. It's my first real interview in maybe about 11 years and it's for a job I'd really love. I bought an outfit for it and I've done some prep for it and I'm extremely nervous but actually a little bit excited too.

The only thing is, I haven't told DH I have an interview or that I've been applying for jobs. He is controlling, and I work for him. I don't want to go into all the background details of it, if you dont mind. I've been taking things one step at a time and if I get this job, or any of the others that I have applied for recently, then it will give me some options and I can take my next step.

Should I tell him about it or not?

On the one hand, an interview doesn't mean I've got the job and I know I still only have a small chance of getting it really. I don't want to cause any drama where there doesn't need to be any and I don't want him to try and make me doubt myself or talk me out of it beforehand.

On the other, i find it hard to lie, I feel really guilty about what I'm doing and like I might talk myself out of it. He might be begrudgingly accepting, he knows I am unhappy in my job. If I don't tell him, there's a risk he might choose to work from home on the day I have the interview, or he might try ringing me while I'm there. I'm constantly available to him so if I don't answer the phone he'll keep ringing, and it makes me have kind of like a panic reaction, or I won't just be able to leave in the day if he's here.

What should I do?

Definitely don't tell him. He will try to upset you and make sure you are not in the right frame of mind. He may also realise you are looking to get away from him.

@worktrip the update was that it was a no this time

Ah that’s a shame, but onward and upward

You can do this

You did a big thing by doing this and your efforts will pay off eventually

Fingers crossed for the next one's, just consider that one a practice. Glad you made it to it though.

I think it will definitely help to have had the practice @crankysaurus and @66babe. I was so nervous, too much so, that I couldn't get some of my answers out properly, I'd been spot on with my prep and the questions I thought they'd ask and had good answers prepared but my delivery was terrible. I hadn't had an interview in such a long time, over 10 years. I'll do better next time.

That's quite normal
Do you have any friends or family you could do some practice sessions with ? Or .... as you seem to have really good self reflection here ... keep all you just said there and next time ... go in
Lower your volume of voice
Relax your shoulders
Slow down your speech
Stop and repeat each question in your head before you reply
All of these are techniques to just give you a more relaxed chance of getting over to them who great you are ! Next one lovely 💐

That’s a shame but it’s all experience and you’ll get better the more practice you have.

But don’t tell your DH about any future interviews you get.

Just to echo the PP’s good advice about prepping I would also recommend the slowing down approach. You can pause before answering a question, think about your response and speak more slowly than you think you are. When we are nervous we all tend to gabble and speed up so try and slow it down.

It''s a shame you didn't get this one, OP, but it's all practice and experience ready for the next interview. I'm sure you'll get a job soon, and then you can take your next steps.

Keep going OP, it's all good experience. Another one who says don't tell him until you have a job. You are then in a much stronger position. Good luck

Good luck for the next interview OP. I think you made the right choice in not telling him. Keep on going!

I just got offered another interview!! For another really great job. I'm honestly shocked. The interview's not for a couple of weeks so going to try and do a lot of prep between now and then.

Posting on here because I don't have anyone else to tell in real life and I'm finding that a bit harder than expected actually. I just needed to tell someone!

Well done. Two interviews in quick succession. You’re obviously doing something right in the application process.

I’m cheering you on.

That's great news OP. Fingers crossed.

Well done, that's great news 🙌🏼

Good luck.

Good luck.

Brilliant. Agreed that you must be doing something right, fingers crossed for you.

Well done you. The right job for you will come along soon. If not this one then the next.

Good luck for the interview and remember it’s just as much an opportunity for you to see if you like them not just for them to pick you.

Well done that’s great news!!

So pleased for you, fingers crossed for you indeed!

@DHandInterview good luck with the next interview, I’m sure if you need help prepping we’ll all be glad to help 😌

Good luck and let us know how you get on

How exciting
Remember what we said about
Relaxing the shoulders
Slowing down the breathing
Lowering your voice for a couple of minutes mindfully ... just in case you are a bit too excited ! Once you have settled down - read the room
If they are very serious and quiet then keep to those tips
If they are quite chatty friendly encouraging then you can liven up a little ( depending on the role of course)
Good luck we are all rooting for you !!!!!!

Giod luck with this op.