Job interview and not telling DH

[DHandInterview]

I have a job interview this week. It's my first real interview in maybe about 11 years and it's for a job I'd really love. I bought an outfit for it and I've done some prep for it and I'm extremely nervous but actually a little bit excited too.

The only thing is, I haven't told DH I have an interview or that I've been applying for jobs. He is controlling, and I work for him. I don't want to go into all the background details of it, if you dont mind. I've been taking things one step at a time and if I get this job, or any of the others that I have applied for recently, then it will give me some options and I can take my next step.

Should I tell him about it or not?

On the one hand, an interview doesn't mean I've got the job and I know I still only have a small chance of getting it really. I don't want to cause any drama where there doesn't need to be any and I don't want him to try and make me doubt myself or talk me out of it beforehand.

On the other, i find it hard to lie, I feel really guilty about what I'm doing and like I might talk myself out of it. He might be begrudgingly accepting, he knows I am unhappy in my job. If I don't tell him, there's a risk he might choose to work from home on the day I have the interview, or he might try ringing me while I'm there. I'm constantly available to him so if I don't answer the phone he'll keep ringing, and it makes me have kind of like a panic reaction, or I won't just be able to leave in the day if he's here.

What should I do?

Thank you so much for your well wishes.

I actually got invited to another interview today, and of course I'm grateful about it but it just hit me really differently. I cried, and I'm not sure why. I never thought I would get offered any.

I put myself down all the time and always think I'm really useless, and I feel a bit sad that Ive wasted 10 years thinking like that when actually there's obviously something in me that some people are seeing potential in.

It also feels really sad because these are jobs that I have always wanted to have, I would love to have a normal husband who would be happy for me and proud of me and help me to get things ready and wish me luck on the day. But there's really no point in getting upset over that, that's not the husband I have unfortunately.

It may not be the husband you have no .. but you are correct .. people are meeting you and reading CV 's and definitely seeing potential for someone worth investing time effort and money in - with training and an opportunity for them to have faith in you being part of their brand
It's a real shame your husband can't see that ! Do you want to stay with him or could you see a happier life without him?

@66babe I'm planning to leave him. I work for his business at the minute so I won't have a job either. It's a mess. But yes, I'm going to leave him. I have some accommodation lined up for September and I just need to get a job ideally now too.

Ah that's good news , that sounds a terrible thing to say but honestly you will be so much happier without that weight on your shoulders 💐

I’m glad your plans are taking shape. Given what you’ve said before I think you’re very wise to plan things carefully.

I’m sure one of these job interviews will work out and you have all of us rooting for you.

I am so pleased you are looking forward. I suspect you have tried to leave before and been thwarted.

You deserve to have freedom, to have a life, to have close friends to enjoy spending time with and one day perhaps a great partner.

Have you already done the freedom programme or is that on your to do list?

Well done, you are so much stronger than you realise.

Good luck OP!

So much luck to you I really hope you get the job and then try to lead the life you want and deserve. I'll be watching for updates

Wow OP, well done on taking control of your life ! It's hard but there is no doubt you'll be so much happier ! I'm rooting for you to get one of those jobs.

I think I remember you from other threads.

I'm so pleased you have persevered and I wish you all the strength in the world to be able to finally leave him and live the life you deserve

I’m so pleased for you, Op!

And well done on making your plans to leave, your husband sounds like a horrible cretin of a being, you deserve so much better and I’m glad you’re finally realising that as well.

Good luck, I’m sure you’ll smash these next interviews!

@DHandInterview

Hello OP. Just checking in to see how you are doing, and if your interviews have been successful. Keeping my fingers crossed that you are able to take the next step to being so much happier with your life. 🌹

Thanks @Newestname001

I haven't found anything yet, but I'm waiting to hear back from one interview and I have another next week, so I'm staying hopeful!