things that give you relationship Envy

[BVP246]

i will start

couples who hold hands

Californiansunsets

“Don’t envy anything in anyone’s relationship. My ex husband cooked, helped round the house, brought me tea/breakfast in bed, held my hand when we were outside, brought me flowers every couple of weeks, had my picture as his screensaver on his phone and iPad………he got caught cheating on me with a work colleague!”

Yep, totally agree, my ex was the same. He cooked, shopped, fixed things around the house, bought me lovely, thoughtful gifts and even arranged days out but in the end turned into an utter shit.

In fact, I can’t think of a single relationship I admire....perhaps my grandparents who seemed to rub along together quite well but never actually seemed to talk to each other 😆

Couple who are thoughtful, where the husband doesn't think a travel sized dry shampoo is a great xmas gift or where the husband take you for birthday dinner then asks you to pay half just as you order dessert, couples where a husband can remember the 1 and only thing his DD orders from. Starbucks, husband that doesn't have to have a map to find his DD class room at the school she's been in for 5 years
Couples that laugh, couple that smile and mean it, couples that don't play pretend to the world

When the husband is tall broad and sexy as f**k 😄

When the partner treats you like a princess on your one special day of the year at least - your birthday. I have been so disappointed in the past by the lack of (even no) effort put into my birthday.

@VienneseWhirligig

Awww I had all of those lovely things with my late DH. He was an unlikely romantic - ex squaddie, big burly bouncer - but was a habitual hand-holding, date arranging, tea making softy

So lovely. I’m sorry for your loss

This is a very thought-provoking thread. I think my partner might say that he’d prefer this period where we are riding the waves of my peri menopause to be as short as possible, but he seems prepared to ride it out with me. I can’t think of anything that makes me envious so I’m feeling very lucky to realise that. Thanks for making me count my blessings OP. 🥰

@VienneseWhirligig your late DH sounds lovely. I bet he gave lovely big hugs as well. Years ago some friends came to pick me up after I had been attacked by ex-DH. One of the husbands was a big burly lorry driver . He gave me a massive hug because I looked like I needed it. He and his wife were a lovely couple who seemed so happy .

Couples who go on date nights. I live with the most unsociable man in the world. If I do manage to get him out he's usually moaning and then can't wait to get back home.

Couples that have each other's backs in a crisis. (Lots of backstory here, but won't bore you all with it!!)

Couples who like each other - genuinly would choose each others' company over pretty much anything else. Enjoy doing stuff together but also stuff apart is cool too. Share the workload - practical and life admin. Laugh together frequently. Show each other they care. Can talk about anything. Still fancy each other after years, and show it (not PDAs but subtly). Have each others' backs, even if you don't always agree. Two equals.

So grateful that I have that now, and count my blessings every day.

A husband who actually finishes DIY projects would be nice. I envy families with a great carpenter/plumber/handyperson.

Also someone with a romantic soul. I would love my husband to plan and book a date. Or even book a dinner out for my birthday. He can't even go to pick up a takeaway.

Also: someone who carried a wallet / phone pay so I dont always have to pay.

I've had some horrible relationships in the past, I've allowed myself to be treated really badly. My reward now seems to be someone who holds my hand, opens the car door for me, buys me wine, tells me he loves me every day, provides for me, listens to me, laughs with me. He's ace. And I work hard to be lovely to him as well as he too deserves it.

Oh, and we can assemble IKEA furniture and not fall out 🥰

This is a good thread!

I do envy people who have partners who are good at planning, and general forethought. My husband will do whatever needs doing no issues but needs to be told what needs doing iyswim.

HOWEVER, he is incredibly affectionate and loving with me and DD. Rubbed my feet/back every day in pregnancy without being asked to, eczema flare ups will put my creams on for me, I've never done a night shift with the baby alone as he's up with me helping without being asked etc, things like that.

You say something once and he hears it perfectly without you having to shout, repeat certain parts, repeat it 38 times, only for him to say you never told him.

That’s my goal.

@recall

When the husband is tall broad and sexy as f**k 😄

Pretty much this.

I saw a lovely picture of Emma Roberts the other day with the bloke she's had a baby with. I was so jealous of their young, good looking relationship, with their money and their young baby and it all looked so perfect.

Until I read he got done for drink driving and she's meant to have a few unsavoury habits too. No one is perfect.

@minipie

Couples where the man organises stuff for them to do together, without being asked to.

TOP of my list for the next Mr CrochetMonkey!

@Blossomandbee

People who's partners take care of the home, help with housework, decorate, do DIY and improvements. It's about creating something good together and having pride.

and this! without me being the nagger or the keeper of the list! (emotional labour)

Generosity (money is probably the first thing that comes to mind, but there are lots of ways to be generous that don’t involve money). My DP is unnecessarily tight with compliments and money.

This is fun...but it's best not to envy anyone. We all have challenges and advantages and disadvantages. You really have to ignore everyone else's life and do your utmost to enjoy your own. Cheers!

@Namechange1067949

When he knows how to take photos of her where she doesn’t look like an old potato

Ditto!

Women who have a asexual partner or at least don’t have to have sex with them.

@Zerrin13

My envy largely relates to the ability to do diy. Dick Strawbridge is my dream man. Is there nothing that man can't do? He even built the château lift! Even though he looks like a grizzly old walrus I really fancy him because of his practical skills.

Omg yes! He is not attractive but yet he so is!

Someone who doesn’t take 2 fucking hours to get out of the door when we’re on holiday. The teens are ready, I’m ready, and the beach car parks will be filling up nicely while DH is still fannying about doing whatever the fuck it is he does every single fucking morning.
Now we’ll have to spend ages in the car looking for a parking space in the baking heat and tempers will be frayed.