things that give you relationship Envy

[BVP246]

i will start

couples who hold hands

Couples where the husband is capable of independent thought....see a mess, ping! thought happens and mess gets cleared.
Couples where the husband wants to do things with his wife and family rather than spend any and all time off watching shite Sci fi programs.
Basically Couples whose get up and go hasn't got up and gone

A decent man - I'm finally having therapy to try and understand why I think I am only good enough to go out with the worst of the worst. I have complex trauma and therefore very little self esteem.

Holding hands mean nothing. All of my worst relationships were with obssessive hand holders.

Planning stuff to do together that isn't just sex related or has sex as the end result

Couples who have time for a shared interesting hobby at the weekend - like renovating an old classic car. Our weekends are spent driving DC3 to football and rugby matches, chores and doing the food shop.

Couples who are childfree by choice. I adore my dc but virtually all our problems stem from the fact we have kids....not much time together, no money, mess, general day to day stresses...that sounds awful like I blame them. I dont.

I have a friend who is married and has no dc...during lockdown, her and her dh sat in the garden, had leisurely walks, cooked together, watched box sets. We tried to home school two bickering kids and loaded/unloaded the dishwasher multiple times a day.

The way my sister and brother in law laugh together, proper laugh til your stomach muscles hurt.

But then on the flip side, my DH is so caring and will do anything for anyone. I really value that quality in him. He'll leave a cuppa for later at my nans for example because she's mentioned she is needing something, so he'll pop to Asda there and then.

Holds hand or initiates subtle public displays of affection

Does things without asking

Spontaneous examples that they are thinking about you - getting favourite chocolate whilst at the shop, making you a drink without being asked, volunteering to take the kids off your hands so you can have a bath, getting you flowers just because

Having a shared hobby

Having an interest they share and make plans to do because they genuinely want to do that thing with their partner. Be it a sport, travelling etc.
Those that can talk and laugh together. (probably connected in part to answer above!)
Those that have each others back. (not just in the good times)

I can't understand thoes of you who are coming on to say 'dont be fooled' or 'well when I experienced that behaviour in an abusive way'. For fucks sake. None of the posters listing things are saying they want thoes at the expense of their partner being a decent human! And how terribly sad for you that you have such low expectations of relationships that your first thought of a seemingly good relationship is 'it's probably shit behind closed doors'.

@Eileen101 same here. I wish me and DP laughed more together, but he doesn't always get my sense of humour!
However, he is a wonderfully caring man, who constantly puts me and DD needs above his own, does more than his fare share in the house, and makes me feel like the most beautiful woman alive.

Zero
I don’t see a relationship around me that I envy at all. I believe many long term relationships put on a public facade, and that most women do a disproportionate amount of the work.

Honestly, we do have the perfect relationship. I wouldn’t change anything and all my friends are stuck in absolute shit shows of relationships so I’m happy with what I’ve got!

My envy largely relates to the ability to do diy. Dick Strawbridge is my dream man. Is there nothing that man can't do? He even built the château lift! Even though he looks like a grizzly old walrus I really fancy him because of his practical skills.

Oh YY to Mr Strawbridge - that man is a god ❤️

Except for the reports of his bullying nature!

One of the things I love about my DP is that he is thoughtful and has the memory of an elephant. I only have to mention something once and he makes it happen if it’s within his power - little tiny things like ‘I really like rhubarb yoghurt’ and then rhubarb yoghurts materialise in the fridge. That sort of stuff - it just shows he’s thinking about me.

Except for the reports of his bullying nature!

Which he and Mrs Strawbridge have firmly denied.

which he and Mrs Strawbridge have firmly denied

I used to live down the road from him 🙃

People who's partners take care of the home, help with housework, decorate, do DIY and improvements. It's about creating something good together and having pride.

I’m not jealous of anyone’s relationship, if you’re not happy then leave

The handholders on here have evidently never been with a man as sweaty-palmed as my DH! 🤣 We call them clam sandwiches. He doesn’t sweat any where else though so no stinky feet to deal with!

Awww I had all of those lovely things with my late DH. He was an unlikely romantic - ex squaddie, big burly bouncer - but was a habitual hand-holding, date arranging, tea making softy

Absolutely nothing.
Most of the time listening to friends talking about their relationships makes me even more happy to be single.

couples who have time to spend together during the day on a weekday without kids. as if they didn't have a care in the world.

it's irrational because we can occasionally do that when DH is on holiday, but it makes me feel like they have a better work/life balance (which they may or may not) and it stings.

the last time DH & I did something together was waiting for 2 hours to get our jabs. and it wasn't even during the day. 🤣
before that....I can't even remember
I think we had lunch together just after Easter when he had a meeting cancelled.
but it was only 15 mins, at home. no leisurely stroll or my hair swishing in the wind.