things that give you relationship Envy

[BVP246]

i will start

couples who hold hands

Couple who've got engaged, got married, and had kids - our relationship is great but I always wanted something a little more conventional. I mean it doesn't really matter I don't suppose.

When I see couples teasing each other on a good natured way.

My ex would go for the jugular for even the mildest of criticism.

@Eileen101

The way my sister and brother in law laugh together, proper laugh til your stomach muscles hurt.

But then on the flip side, my DH is so caring and will do anything for anyone. I really value that quality in him. He'll leave a cuppa for later at my nans for example because she's mentioned she is needing something, so he'll pop to Asda there and then.

That's so sweet.

A partner who can organize day trips and holidays and can take the lead in such things.
A Dad who is more present in his children's lives and knows the name of his child's teacher and the date of the school play (and will attend such events when they can alongside their partner).
A partner who also takes on aspects of life admin.

I'm envious of Charlotte Riley's relationship. She gets to shag Tom Hardy whenever she wants.

@VienneseWhirligig

Awww I had all of those lovely things with my late DH. He was an unlikely romantic - ex squaddie, big burly bouncer - but was a habitual hand-holding, date arranging, tea making softy

When the man is taller and stronger. I bloody love my partner but he's only about an inch taller than me (whatever he claims) and neither of us can reach things

Where both partners are young enough to have their lives ahead of them, and get to make long term plans and build a future.

Partners who can cook and enjoy it.
Who are handy.
Like driving.
Not tight as a Duck’s arse.
Humble.
Relaxed positive and kind.
Very clean.

Don’t envy anything in anyone’s relationship. My ex husband cooked, helped round the house, brought me tea/breakfast in bed, held my hand when we were outside, brought me flowers every couple of weeks, had my picture as his screensaver on his phone and iPad………he got caught cheating on me with a work colleague!

I envy my sisters relationship. For her, it's like living in a fun flat share only with your best friend and also the best friend is a man and hot and loves you madly.

Bah. She deserves it though, she's lovely.

A husband who doesn't work shifts!

Reading all these comments has made me realise I may have been taking my DH for granted recently. I'm going to plan something special for him ❤️

And how terribly sad for you that you have such low expectations of relationships that your first thought of a seemingly good relationship is 'it's probably shit behind closed doors'.

But quite seriously @Somuddled, with over 40 years of living and I sadly have never observed a ‘seemingly good’ relationship. Certainly not one I envy. I don’t probably think they are shit, I know they are bloody awful. And I don’t think my experience is unique.

For good reason I have no envy at all.

Couples that have more free time together. I feel like when he's off work, I'm at work!

A husband who 'sees' mess around the house and clears it without me having to point it out.

Day trips or anything not having to be "up to me".

Some lovely things have been mentioned on this thread. A good reminder for me to appreciate my husband . He does carry half of the mental load in our house , organises holidays and we make each other laugh like drains.

Where the man contributes financially and does his share of chores and tasks cheerfully and without having to be "nagged" because he realises what's fair. I have never encountered this. I'm 47 this year.

I used to get couple envy about lots of things but now I never do. But I'm single, I look at my life now and I compare it to how it was in every relationship and I just realise how much happier I am. Only time I get jealous of people in relationships is on a Thursday when I have to put rubbish out ha ha. Knowing that my mood, my life, my happiness is completely dependant on me and not connected to another party I find so liberating.

I envy my relationship before we had kids lol. They just change things completely. I love them but my god I just want it to be about me sometimes

I don't envy anyone elses relationship - my dp is perfect for me. I had a bumpy ride getting to that point with many unsuitables along the way and an abusive marriage but now I have everything I used to wish I had.

I agree with the ones about men who think about/plan/instigate holidays and days/ meals out. It's always me! But I am a bit of a control freak so I probably wouldn't like it if he did haha.

Not much to complain about. Sometimes wish he was more romantic but then I remember all the friends who've had partners doing the big romantic gestures thing and they've usually turned out to be right tossers and the relationships don't last once the excitement has worn off.

When a friend was thinking of splitting with her partner she phoned me to ask my advice. One of the reasons she gave was that "you and H always seem like the epitome of love and romance." Well, we laughed uproariously at that, but I suppose we do genuinely like each others company, find each other funny and like being kind and thoughtful to each other. Those things really count and its nice that someone saw that and admired it!

ladygindiva

My dh does his share of the chores without being asked. If he didn't, the chores would be left undone. Not that I am lazy, but I am not physically in the house when dcs need collection, I am at work when dinner needs cooking. We both work fulltime, my job requires me to be at work for a certain amount of hours. His job is a bit more flexible and he can do a shop, help take or collect dcs from activities. I do what I can. I spend all my time either at work or with dh and dcs. I sometimes cannot manage two dcs with activities (can't be in two places at once). If I had a dh who wouldn't help, then I would have to give up working, and/or accept that the dcs can't do many activities.

There was a thread about monty bojangles truffles the other day, and I looked at the website and saw all these lovely but expensive gift boxes and realised that none of my previous DPs would ever have spontaneously bought me some lovely chocolates...or beautiful flowers... Or anything much. Any gift I did get was usually a bit rubbish (giant Teddy bear, petrol station carnations when 2 hours late, things bought with my money, etc) and not particularly thoughtful. I know I can buy myself all the truffles I want, but envy people whose partner's spontaneously think of gifts they would love and are personal to them.

Where the man is genuinely loyal and faithful, you can trust him fully not to cheat and break your heart. Where you feel secure and KNOW you are loved.