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Original poster

DP told me a woman came onto him

118 replies

Sacriptiq · 27/06/2021 20:22

I've name changed for this.

dp went out with a few friends yesterday. Today, he told me that a one of his friends Friends came onto him and asked him back to hers, he said he said no. Apparently, she carried on flirting with him and when he was leaving he said she touched his him ‘there’. He told me that he ignored her and left anyway. He did come back early and he wasn't very drunk.

I'm a bit annoyed though, why didn't he leave when she asked him back? Or when she started flirting with him? Would you be annoyed?

OP posts:
2021DNA · 27/06/2021 21:01

I'm a bit annoyed though, why didn't he leave when she asked him back? Or when she started flirting with him? Would you be annoyed?

Why should he leave? And why would anyone be annoyed that their partner turned down another woman?

DinosaurDiana · 27/06/2021 21:03

He’s told you about it, that’s good.
My DH got propositioned by a man who knew he was married with kids 🥴

DisgruntledPelican · 27/06/2021 21:05

It probably wouldn’t occur to him to leave. Much as I agree that your DH has been sexually assaulted by this woman, he was more than likely not in the same kind of uncomfortable and dangerous situation that a woman being flirted at by a sexually aggressive man would face. I’d probably leave if that was happening to me, but I can see why a lot of men wouldn’t.

He came home and told you everything. Be annoyed at her if you have the energy to waste, but nothing else is going to happen. What are the chances of running into her at a social engagement in the future?

Garraty47 · 27/06/2021 21:06

I think you're being silly. Why should he have to leave because someone flirted with him?

HappyCamperT5 · 27/06/2021 21:07

Your poor DP.. he was sexually harassed and then assaulted and your in a grump. How would you feel if a man did this to you when you were out and your DP turned around and said well you should have left earlier..
Not very supportive.

VettiyaIruken · 27/06/2021 21:11

No. I wouldn't be annoyed with him. I'd feel sorry that his evening was spoiled by being sexually assaulted.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 27/06/2021 21:12

She assaulted him!! What disgusting behaviour. If it a man touched a woman 'there' the police would have been called....

He's been honest with you and clearly had no intentions so no, I wouldn't be annoyed with him.

Rewis · 27/06/2021 21:14

If someone flirts with you, you should go home immediately?

88soph88 · 27/06/2021 21:19

I just read this out to mu husband and his exact words were:

He's giving her his side of the story so that if and when the truth comes out, his side was there first

Something happened

thedancingbear · 27/06/2021 21:21

@88soph88

I just read this out to mu husband and his exact words were:

He's giving her his side of the story so that if and when the truth comes out, his side was there first

Something happened

Your husband doesn’t work for the Metropolitan Police, by any chance?
youvegottenminuteslynn · 27/06/2021 21:24

@88soph88

I just read this out to mu husband and his exact words were:

He's giving her his side of the story so that if and when the truth comes out, his side was there first

Something happened

Your husband doesn't think men are trustworthy at all, does he? That would worry me a bit tbh.
ShiteningMcQueen · 27/06/2021 21:29

He's getting his side of the story out there first and painting himself as a victim. He left his mates because he and this woman went off together somewhere and he couldn't find them afterwards and so came home.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 27/06/2021 21:29

No. And I’d be apocalyptic if DH suggested I should have come home if a man flirted with me. He dealt with her behaviour. Why should someone else’s lack of decency ruin his night?

Lalliella · 27/06/2021 21:33

@thedancingbear

So someone you love was sexually harassed and later sexually assaulted.

And you’re really cross at them for the way they’ve responded to that.

Is that right, OP? If not, which bit is wrong?

What a load of victim blaming shit

^^ this. Why should he come home? It’s not his fault, why should his night out be spoilt. You need to take a look at your reaction OP, what’s behind it? If this was the other way round, a man saying this would get called all sorts on here.
TheMotherlode · 27/06/2021 21:37

I just read this out to mu husband and his exact words were:

He's giving her his side of the story so that if and when the truth comes out, his side was there first

Something happened

That says quite a lot about your husband tbh

paniniswapx3 · 27/06/2021 21:39

If you trust him Op, then take it at face value and certainly shouldn't be annoyed with him at all.

However, those pp's who have pointed out he's getting his side of the story in first could be correct - only you know what's likely to be true.

However if you believe his version, then you're definitely wrong to be annoyed at him as he did nothing wrong and was the victim in that scenario!

Tistheseason17 · 27/06/2021 21:39

Jeez, poor bloke.
If this happened to a woman we'd be suggesting call police as it's sexual assault.

PrinnyPree · 27/06/2021 22:05

He has done absolutley nothing wrong, why should his night be ruined by some idiot flirting with him, he dealt with it and was 100% transparent with you.

If a women was on here saying her husband was annoyed at her because she didn't end her night out with her friends after a man flirted with her, MNetters would be accusing him of coercive control.

By being partly annoyed at him you are going to stop him telling you if anything like this ever happens again because he will feel you don't trust him and it is definitely not on for you to blame him for attracting unwanted attention. It is not his fault. Do not insist he is to come home if this sort of thing happens again.

bigbaggyeyes · 27/06/2021 22:11

Why should his evening be ruined and he come home just because someone kept flirting with him. Sounds wholly unfair. It's also great he told you, and shows he's being open and honest with you. Start getting annoyed with him, and start insisting he comes home early if someone comes onto him is a sure fire way of wrecking a good relationship.

nimbuscloud · 27/06/2021 22:16

@ 88soph88

Thank goodness your husband is able to enlighten all us stupid women. Thank you for sharing his wisdom with us.
🙄

LittlePearl · 27/06/2021 22:53

@ShiteningMcQueen

He's getting his side of the story out there first and painting himself as a victim. He left his mates because he and this woman went off together somewhere and he couldn't find them afterwards and so came home.
FFS
MushMonster · 27/06/2021 22:58

He did nothing wrong.
He is the victim here, come on, she touched him! That is assault!

I would be fuming at her.

I would be very proud of my DH! and worrying about how he is feeling about it, to be honest. Is he doing ok?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2021 23:03

So you think of a woman shows him attention then he must immediately return to you because what? He might be tempted? To teach the woman a lesson? To prove his fidelity?

SleepingStandingUp · 27/06/2021 23:04

@ShiteningMcQueen

He's getting his side of the story out there first and painting himself as a victim. He left his mates because he and this woman went off together somewhere and he couldn't find them afterwards and so came home.
Yes when anyone claims to have been sexually harassed, it's clearly code for I fucked a stranger 🙄
Awrite · 27/06/2021 23:07

Sounds like he's done nothing wrong.

I don't agree that someone should have to report home the moment someone makes a pass at them.

So, no I wouldn't be annoyed with dh.