I’m so lonely it is breaking me

[Heytt]

Just that really. I have nobody to share my life with. My job or home worries, nobody to build furniture with, cook with or for, plan a holiday with, share an unexpected bill with, cuddle when I’m feeling unwell, nobody to get me a cup of tea, ever, nobody to spend my money on. I’m just so sad tonight.

I'm so sorry. You do sound very lost. What are you up to at the moment?

Oh OP I feel for you. Do you have nobody as in nobody at all that you are close to, or is it nobody that you trust enough to let in?

@Fnib I had vaccine this morning and feel a bit rubbish. Just on my own again tonight, like every night. I used to pick myself up but can’t seem to find it in me to do that anymore. I’m jealous and bitter of people. Again I never used to be that way. I’m just so alone and sad.

@Heytt I’m so sorry, life can be incredibly lonely at times can’t it.

I spent 10 years as a single mum, and all of those were without any partner at all.

My suggestion is to busy yourself with friends. Join the WI, local groups (walking groups, dog walking groups, whatever your interested in), and concentrate on building those friendships.

That won’t take away from the loneliness of joy having a partner, but it’ll help.

*not (not joy).

@Bornlazy I have recently started dating someone, a few weeks ago. He’s nice. But I’m nowhere near marriage and settling down so I often feel what’s the point. I have friends but none are single, never free Saturday nights.

@Bookaholic73 thanks, I’ve tried all of that the last few years. I really have. Been involved in all sorts, have lots of friends really. But I’m desperately alone. I don’t have my own family or own husband or partner. It’s always me tagging on to another family. I’m a lost sheep, a waste.

@Heytt you are definitely not a waste of anything. A waste of what?

I wish I knew of something to say to make it better, but I remember the 10 years of sitting at home every night by myself being miserable.

Just sending you a huge hug.

I'm so sorry you are feeling sad. Loneliness is terrible. Perhaps you should take up a hobby that interests you, within a group. Does your town have any support for solitary people?
Are there any friends from your previous jobs that you could contact? Do you have any siblings?

I bet the after effects are adding to your feeling blue. I wasn't unwell after mine as such, but there was a general feeling of being not quite right for a couple of days.
Have you been single for a long time? (Apart from the current guy you're dating) Whats he like?

Hey, I can totally get where you are coming from. I am separated and with a DC. When they go to bed at night sometimes I can't wait to have time to do stuff etc, other times I think is this it?! Forever?! As it is not easy, I don't think so anyway, to find a partner etc when you have a child, this is one of many reasons why my ex decided to want a child, but despite what he did to
me and is even like now, he will never get me back.
And let me tell you, although I know I was in the wrong relationship, I was more lonely then than I am now.
During lockdown I joined a dating app met one or two guys, a couple I chat to now.
I get the same feelings now as when I was childless and working full time, busy rushing around and lots going on during the week, then the weekend comes, and it's kind of that anti climax and low feeling.
It's good you have started seeing someone, so you have something to look forward to, obviously you can't rush these things but it might lead to more.

You are not alone. You just didn’t find your tribe yet.
I used to work nights and I felt like the last alive woman on earth, so detached from human contact.
Try watching a movie/read a book, to remove yourself from reality for a bit. Or make lists, how do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?
If all else fails, remember you’re not alone, lots of people feel the way you do. And reach for that bar of chocolate (I’m only kidding). I bake cakes and give them to neighbours sometimes, if I haven’t had human contact for a while
Big hugs to you

@Fnib I’ve been single on and off for a long time, 6 years. Nothing ever developed. Before that I had a nice relationship. New man is nice but I’m just so far behind everyone that I am left out. I know it’s not a race and I don’t treat it like that but what I mean is that I’m not where they are all. I’m alone in every sense, nobody knows what it’s like to be dating at my age. None of my friends at least. Every week I hear about an engagement or wedding or family, it’s all I hear. It’s everywhere. I’ve never celebrated anything like that, because I’m just a side piece to everyone, never the main part. I am sick of it. I’m sick of celebrating other people and it’s made me even more withdrawn. I used to put a brave face on even years ago and just get over myself and get on with things. I can’t even do that anymore. I just hide away when I can’t face another celebration. I’m sick of it all. I am the odd one out nearly always, everywhere I go. Even in the supermarket it’s full of parents or couples. The only other single people I see are elderly. I’m a freak.

What about a friend? Or house mate?

How old are you?

Me neither, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I wish I had someone to sit on the sofa with. I know it’s daft but I watch Gogglebox and I feel a little sad that I can’t comment to someone what they’re commenting on.

How old are u?

@Guavafish I just want to have a life with someone. I’m not unable to be alone, but I’m lonely. I hate it. I even hate earning money as I just think what’s the point in this with nobody to spend it on. It’s sad, pointless. I’m 36 and it’s my birthday next week. The 7th birthday where I will make excuses so I don’t have to sit alone at a table full of couples and get a taxi home alone.

@MyShoelaceIsUndone there’s just so many things. Even down to buying my pathetic miniature milks rather than a nice big size for a big household. It makes me so sad. I don’t feel like anyone in my life could understand.

Fellow singleton and I complete and totally understand

It's so shit.

Thanks @fasterthanwehave

I want to give you a great big hug but I'll settle for and
When are you next seeing this man? Has anything happened to make you doubt the future with him? Do you see people in the week or wfh?

@Fnib probably see him next week. I like him but I’ve been here before, nothing works out. Why would this.

I work from home. I do see people some days, but I’m just so aware that I’m tagging on to another family, even my parents are very close and I’m the addition to their life when I see them, likewise with any friends... they have their ‘core’ lives and I just fit in as and when I can. I understand why, because I’m not the centre of their lives. I just wish I was a key part of someone’s life too, someone I could go home to, rely on a little bit and share my life with. It’s never happened and now I’m in an entirely different place to all my friends. It’s so lonely.

You are NOT a freak. There are many,many happily single people. I know a good few. I'm sure there's a website for contacting friends who are single and free at weekends/ evenings. My friend felt really isayed with her 2md child as we were all working/ back at work- she met a wonderful friend on an online site in the same boat and they're still great friends 8 years later.

Sending , it's crap when you're down.

*isolated