I was lying in bed with my boyfriend the other night and he began feeling me up. I was a bit tired so not hugely into it but going with the flow. He asked if I was still sore as we had rough sex the night before. I said "yes", at which point he sat up, moved so he was facing me, lifted both my legs in the air and entered me.
I was a bit surprised by this as I thought saying I was sore was an indication that I wasn't up for more sex. But I went along with it and tried to encourage it to be over as soon as possible by faking orgasm.
He then said "I'm sorry, i couldn't help myself" afterwards and went back to sleep.
I've had similar incidents with other men and I always feel I act extremely passive in these situations. Like I can't just say no.
Although the other night he wanted me to use a toy in front of him. Then he took control. I pushed it away suddenly because the setting was too high and it hurt and, so I said "stop". He said "no keep going, I want to see you come". I said stop again and tried to push him off. Then he saw my face and said "stop for real?". This feels like a miscommunication but saying "stop" clearly without an agreed BDSM type scene means.. Well.. stop.
I felt quite unsafe but then guilty because he showed instant remorse and said I should have tapped him on the arm.
I freeze up when I feel scared and that makes it hard for men to realise they've crossed a line. I dunno I guess I just wanted to get someone else's perspective and advice.