Annoying or controlling?

[Buckingham3]

I was hoping if I give one example people would give their opinions on if this is just really annoying or a bit controlling.

Sat in the living room with the lights on. DP walks in and turns them off as it's 'daytime'. DS8 gets up and turns them back on. DP asks why he's done that and then goes and turns them off again. Repeat a couple more times.

Now my DS8 isn't DP's, and DP doesn't even live with me.

This sort of thing happens quite often. Do I just have an annoying DP?!

It's a control Thing. Starts of small. The. Builds. He is basically saying his decision over rules anyone else's.

Personally the big light being on when it's light outside is a big pet hate of mine and I would make my kids turn it off too. But I suppose if he doesn't live there it's maybe a bit of a control thing? But maybe it just annoys him? Like it unreasonably irritates me so much if the big light is on but its light outside.

Agree with unicorn it's about control

It's being passive aggressive and immature but will escalate

Controlling/ extremely annoying.

I don't think its possible for us to tell if he is controlling from that one example, sounds bloody annoying though. Is he controlling in other ways?

Not his home why is he the God of the light switches? It’s controlling.

Hard to tell from one example, but I wonder - is this actually a collision between your partner and your son thing?

Do you have anymore examples.

He doesn’t live there so if you’re not bothered by the light being on then yeah it could be either an annoying habit or controlling. But really more context is needed

Well done to your 8 year old son for trying to stand up to his mums dickhead boyfriend. What was your response to your child getting undermined in his own home?

@Craftycorvid

Hard to tell from one example, but I wonder - is this actually a collision between your partner and your son thing?

With the partner acting more childish than the 8 year old?

It's not DPs house. Tell him to fuck off and sit in the dark in his own house.

@Hsurbbrb

Well done to your 8 year old son for trying to stand up to his mums dickhead boyfriend. What was your response to your child getting undermined in his own home?

This.

@Hsurbbrb

Well done to your 8 year old son for trying to stand up to his mums dickhead boyfriend. What was your response to your child getting undermined in his own home?

Yep, this.

Controlling and annoying

Your DS was right

I really hope you backed him up, your DS that is.

I have to have big light on especially on dull days, but then I’m registered blind, I will not sit in the dark. Unless watching tv. But watch this it could lead to bigger things.

I'm trying to the think of examples that aren't outing.

My hoover broke recently. DP spent ages looking for a new one for me (I didn't ask him to nor really want him to). He found one and went on and on at me to get that one. I found another one and he seemed to get annoyed that I wasn't going to get the one that he suggested. He hasn't hoovered at my house once!

Get rid op. He is trying to show his status in your home. Never let it become his home.

Control and weird

He's waaayyy too comfortable bossing you and your DS.

Not on

Have you previously been in relationships with men who don't respect your boundaries or choices?

You need to get this man gone from your lives. This relationship should be at an end now.

His actions here are about control and this will escalate further.

It sounds like you know the answer already.

Imagine what he'd be like if he did live with you?
Being controlling with the lights and getting annoyed what hoover you get is not normal, it's not his home and not his bills for him to worry about. Its not his place to make those decisions.

@Buckingham3

I'm trying to the think of examples that aren't outing.

My hoover broke recently. DP spent ages looking for a new one for me (I didn't ask him to nor really want him to). He found one and went on and on at me to get that one. I found another one and he seemed to get annoyed that I wasn't going to get the one that he suggested. He hasn't hoovered at my house once!

This exact thing happened to me (well not a Hoover, but an appliance for my house that he didn’t live in) and it was the beginning of almost a decade of abusive and controlling behaviour. I so wish I had seen this for the giant red flag it was.

Thankfully, there was no children involved. In your situation, I would be getting rid now. This only ever gets much worse.