Another sexless marriage one

[dryasaboner]

Boring topic but I really feel like crying at this point. We've argued about this so many times. He started ADs in February as he was acting so depressed. Then came the oh I've got no sex drive on these tablets. But tbh since we had second child it's been sexless save for maybe special occasions. I nearly fell for another man, we split for a short while and he came back saying he would do what it takes. He sleeps on the sofa and always has an excuse for this. I'm gutted he just won't do anything to change . I would just walk but our five year old would be so heartbroken o can't put him through it.
Any ideas please- would love to go to therapy but it's so expensive

You wouldn’t be putting your child through anything. You’d be stopping him thinking it’s normal for mum and dad to have a loveless marriage where dad sleeps on the sofa.

Life is short OP. Spend it feeling as good about yourself as possible. You deserve to be happy. Children adapt, quicker the younger they are.

So why is he on the sofa and not in bed ?
Is he actively avoiding sex or are the ADs killing his sex drive?

@JustAnotherOldMan

So why is he on the sofa and not in bed ? Is he actively avoiding sex or are the ADs killing his sex drive?

There's a different excuse most times tbf

Meet your twin op. Soul destroying isn't it. Mine sleeps in the garden shed. Fuck my life.

Since being in the same bed is a general precursor to sex, sounds like your flogging a dead horse, tbh
When my wife decided she didn’t want sex (with me at least), she became my ExWife, as PP says, life is too short

@Sillawithans

Meet your twin op. Soul destroying isn't it. Mine sleeps in the garden shed. Fuck my life.

I'm not being horrible but that made me chuckle- why the shed? Honestly it's soul destroying yet he insists when I mention it he doesn't want to split he will change etc etc but seems to have zero motivation to

Mine sleeps in the garden shed.

Honestly WTF is wrong up with some blokes, that’s just stupid, what does he do spoon with the Flymo or something?

Would you consider an open marriage? We have done this and it's really working for us- so far.

He works in there and falls asleep in there. Ridiculous isn't it! We've had sex maybe 5 times this year, last time being in April. I've also tried talking to him but I get nowhere. I'm getting so angry now writing this and feel like going out the back and egging the shed

Only you can decide how long you will stay in this sham of a marriage, but don't delude yourself that your children aren't being seriously impacted by all of this dysfunction. I say you've wasted enough time.

@Sillawithans

He works in there and falls asleep in there. Ridiculous isn't it! We've had sex maybe 5 times this year, last time being in April. I've also tried talking to him but I get nowhere. I'm getting so angry now writing this and feel like going out the back and egging the shed

Egging the shed! Oh my I'm howling here 😂is he Martin Goodman? I've pm'd you btw

@Grumpasaurus

Would you consider an open marriage? We have done this and it's really working for us- so far.

I have mentioned it but he gets all affronted and says he will change

@JustAnotherOldMan cheating on me with a Flymo I've no idea. It baffles me really. I might go out later and see if I can sweet talk the Flymo into shagging me

Well at least I'm making you laugh op. Love your username. Almost had to Google bones to see what it meant

Don't do what I did and stay with him, I put up with exh's issues for 10 years, he then had the cheek to leave me and give me a litany of my faults, mostly ignoring him, the cheek! Happy with dp now, wish I hadn't wasted 10 years though

Boner not bones!

I'm at the point now where I just don't give a flying fuck. I have a crush and today he invited me over to his house to do a shared hobby. He's mad about me too. If my boyfriend got mad well thought titty, you had a chance.

Truth is my boyfriend has gone off me but doesn't have big enough balls to tell me, which is funny really as we haven't had sex in SO long that they must be the size of a small country.

[quote Sillawithans]@JustAnotherOldMan cheating on me with a Flymo I've no idea. It baffles me really. I might go out later and see if I can sweet talk the Flymo into shagging me [/quote]
That sounds like it could go horribly wrong.

Moving parts! Blades!

Don't cut your lady garden.

@Bumpsadaisie my vag could do with a run in with a Flymo to be honest

I think mostly when this happens, they just don’t fancy you anymore but don’t have the bollocks to tell you and don’t want to split due to knowing they will probably lose out on seeing their child. If only people could be more adult about things.

@Tombstone81 yet when they are offered an out they don't take it. We have no shared children. I think they don't want us but don't want anyone else to have us either.

Yup. Same here. It's easier for him to stay for the picture perfect life. I feel trapped.

[quote Sillawithans]@Tombstone81 yet when they are offered an out they don't take it. We have no shared children. I think they don't want us but don't want anyone else to have us either.[/quote]
If you have no shared children what’s stopping you just calling it quits?

@JustAnotherOldMan cos I'm an absolute sap. No other way to put it really.

@Tombstone81

I think mostly when this happens, they just don’t fancy you anymore but don’t have the bollocks to tell you and don’t want to split due to knowing they will probably lose out on seeing their child. If only people could be more adult about things.

Yep spot on