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BF pointing out one of his ex's

1 reply

wombleofwimbledom · 21/06/2021 12:07

Would you be annoyed if, randomly, your bf pointed out someone who he used to date?

Back story; we were in the gym training and he points out some woman he used to date. We have been together 4 years and he was married for 6 years prior to this (I was nothing to do with his divorce). So, it will have been 10+ years since he dated this woman.

So, now I need to look at this woman 3/4 times a week in the gym. I had seen her around the gym prior to this but never had any reason to take any notice beyond acknowledging her existence. Due to my own insecurities I cant help comparing myself to her and wondering why he felt the need to drop that in to the conversation. She's fit and attractive. I'm not hideous, but I'm certainly at the beginning of my fitness journey and several sizes bigger than her.

I'm not a mealy mouthed person and generally pride myself on at least outwardly appearing confident, but this has put me into a bit of a tizz and I can't seem to get a grip of myself. At the time, I didn't say anything to him at all in response (I was in the midst of a heavy lift). I made a Hmm face and nothing else has been said. Now I feel like too much time has passed to raise the issue. Or indeed, is there even an issue to raise? He hasn't done anything wrong; he did date her, I just wish I didn't know, or perhaps I wish I was more secure in myself and could stop making comparisons.

JoMumsnet · 21/06/2021 12:26

We're moving this thread over to our Relationships topic for the OP.

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