He's cheating. I'm asking him to leave, what do I need

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Long story short he's cheating, says not but caught him out in a web of lies about a woman. It is what it is and the lying alone is enough if that makes sense but I'm 99%sur eit more.
My house I own outright pre relationship. One joint child, 3 dsc.
Im asking him to leave, he has somewhere to go to namely family. But I'm prepared to give him 28 days to get something sorted.
What do I need now... sort Internet (only thing in his name). What else? Childcare? Cms?
He's going to likely fight me on him leaving but knows its what I want. I desperately wnat to keep things okay and civil for our joint child plus to ensure his relationship with half siblings is okay.

You're doing great. One foot after the other.

Next move is a locksmith. There are also YouTube videos showing how to change lock barrels if you're handy with diy. Either way you need to secure your home ASAP.

Also, change computer passwords.

Then you can take a breath.

Well done OP

The hard part is done - now sit down and breathe for a moment

Baby steps - don't try and get everything sorted all at once re contact and childcare etc etc it will come with time.

As others have said

1. Change locks
2. Change passwords

Get support from your friends/family. Don't be afraid to tell them what he has done, they will totally understand your reaction

You've got this

Family all know. Work n childminder know. His family know. Its public.
Im just tierd and sad now, in between the rage

You have achieved so much in a short space of time, you will still be in shock too.

Be kind to yourself 🌷

@Pleaseaddcaffine it’s such an awful feeling. Try hard to eat something. I struggled and did things like put sugar in my tea for a bit of a boost. And try to get some sleep even if in little bits.

Thanks evryone.

Is this the waste of space that has the hobby job? Sorry if not you but you are defo well rid!

Ditto what Polly says!!

Yes n yes I know.

I'd pack up his stuff and change the locks.

The emotional bits the hard bit and the fact he's not actually really sorry

You poor thing - I'd be so mad and upset. So basically he took a woman/ex who doesn't work for his company on a work trip and lied about it to you? How did you find out she was there? It would be game over for me regardless of what happened because of the lying. Stick to your guns and don't let him sweet talk his way back in. Sending hugs.

Social media... Recognised his van and location. Confrtonte dhim and just said I knew. He admitted it but says not cheating. Irreverent as the lying is enough plus why would I belive a proven liar?

Just hugs he's a selfish user

@youvegottenminuteslynn

28 days is mental frankly OP.

7 days is generous. 28 days living with an angry liar is foolish especially when you have a child.

This ....

28 days is crazy. He can all kinds of crazy in that time after talking to friends. When you tell him to go, I'd say go within 48 hours. He cheated, you owe him nothing. The longer he stays now the more problems he can cause you. This can have a massive impact on the children. Keep calm, be civil, be assertive.

Let us know how you get on, please.

Good luck. x

What an absolute twat. He’s fucked his own kids over as well as you. I wonder how his first relationship failed?

No idea it was an extrrnaly long time before I met him. The kids is sad bit.

You’ve done so well and things will get better and settled down. I had a similar situation twice! But both times I was married to the pricks! One only three months, had to wait 12 months to divorce and luckily he signed the papers to take him off my house deeds. Other was my house and took 9 months to get him to leave, he took £100k of my pension and crippled me with legal bills. Both have admitted since that they’ve made terrible mistakes and wanted me to take them back! Please do not do this if he asks, it will just go around in circles and trust is gone. Take care and stay strong xx

Thanks.. I know. I do.
I have exams this week and can't study as soo anxious etc.

Hire a removal van and put his stuff in storage

Im now getting sorry messages and wanting to do what's right and how upset he is. All about him. He's literally destroyed a complex family unti through his bullshit. Its the lies and to my face too... Liar that he is.

So sorry about this, OP.

Not sure which exams you have, but I've given students extensions for family breakdowns before. Ring your tutor, if you can, and give yourself some breathing space.

Things will get better. Not yet, but they absolutely will.

Law related qualification.

Definitely speak to your tutor. And block him for the week. Tell him you don’t want to hear from him until you’ve done your exams. Focus on that if you can - you’re doing it for you, don’t let him ruin anything- keep telling yourself that. Make yourself eat as much as you can - even if it’s picking at small portions of healthy things that will keep you going.

Right, I'm going to be harsh now because I've been in your position.

Do NOT let this prick ruin your exam chances!

Put him out your head and focus on the studying. Do the best you possibly can. He is NOT worth fucking your future for. He's done and in the past and your child will need you to get this qualification.

Do NOT give the cheating arsehole the satisfaction of knowing that he managed to fuck this up for you as well.

Go on. You can do it.