He's cheating. I'm asking him to leave, what do I need

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Long story short he's cheating, says not but caught him out in a web of lies about a woman. It is what it is and the lying alone is enough if that makes sense but I'm 99%sur eit more.
My house I own outright pre relationship. One joint child, 3 dsc.
Im asking him to leave, he has somewhere to go to namely family. But I'm prepared to give him 28 days to get something sorted.
What do I need now... sort Internet (only thing in his name). What else? Childcare? Cms?
He's going to likely fight me on him leaving but knows its what I want. I desperately wnat to keep things okay and civil for our joint child plus to ensure his relationship with half siblings is okay.

I don't know where she lives. Can't block as joint child so would not be fair.

Fucking hell op, move his stuff out while he's gone.
Pack up step children's stuff too, can their mum come get it?
You'll kick yourself down the line if you're too nice now.

OP you are being very accommodating to a man who is shagging someone else and giving not one shit about you or your joint child.

Kick him out.

Not a good night. Screamed at him down phone, not cool but needed.
He swears blind he's not cheating. Basically he works away at events and this is first once since covid. Been working late to get ready. Been previous issues with this person and he swore he cut all contact. Found out with her now... She doesn't work for him. So lied about who travelling with lied, lied about whose there and they are stopping with him. He's cheating or why lie... (for reference he has female employees in past and indeed currently and zero issues with that at all, it this specific person due to his behaviour).
So I know I'm right and I know, he's just realised how much hell lose in terms of house n support n kids.
Anyway thanks everyone for advice.
I've let his parents know and they have confirmed he can stay with them which will help.

Oh, @Pleaseaddcaffine it’s so horrible 💐

I agree with chucking him out now. The atmosphere will be awful if he's in and out between yours and hers.

There’s also a benefits calculator thing to see what you might be entitled to. Worth doing even if you think you won’t qualify.

If you have a halfway decent relationship with the step kids mum call her too. She can explain to them so you don’t have to, and I’m sure will help sort out for their stuff etc . It will also help further down the line if she knows the reason for your split so that she can help with keeping the kids relationship if your ex doesn’t want to.

Thanks I fb he has told her ie exw by early next week I will. I don't want the kids upset and that's what I'm most worried about the 4 kids our and his, that haven't done a thin wrong. But I can't let him behave like this towards me so it has to happen. Sad though

Sorry for typos... I've had about 3 hours sleep

Well done OP. The sooner you get rid, the sooner you can start to heal. You've done great so far and you have a nest of MN vipers right behind you.

It’s very sad. But it’s him who’s chosen this. Not you.

Try to eat something and get a nap. And ring your GP if you need something to help you sleep this week.

I'm being glacier cool in day for my son but once I'm alone at night n trying to sleep my head runs mad.
Yep. His fault, doesn't make it easier on the kids though. Shitty thing for him to do

It’s a terrible thing to do. I’m out the other side, but I know how bad it feels 💐

You're not married, you own the property, he has family to move in with and he is currently with the OW? Pack his bags, get him to collect his belongings first thing and get the key off him. Tell him he's got 1 week to arrange collection of DSC's belongings. Im sorry about what has happened OP. Stay strong but you're being too lenient x

Did you pack his stuff and kick him out 🌸

Stuff packed and going morning. Being abusive and my fault and I've misunderstood... Just awful

If you were so awful he would be keen to leave ASAP he is just angry he's lost the nanny for all his DC, home maker and breadwinner.

Stay strong

@Pleaseaddcaffine

Stuff packed and going morning. Being abusive and my fault and I've misunderstood... Just awful

Good for you OP for standing firm 🌷

Thanks. Had zero sleep hideous headache and soo angry. Keeps saying he aha cheated and it was a lie for blargh blargh reasons.
Essentially he took a woman away for a weekend that he had lied about seeing before. He denied it, told a load of lies. I found out she was with him. He then Co fessed but said it wasn't like that. It is like that. Even if it wasn't I can't be with someone with so little respect for me they think it's okay to lie repeatedly to my face

Should read... He hasn't cheated

Don't be so swift to believe that, OP, and blame yourself.....

I know. Its 100% his fault.

He doesn't want to lose the roof over his head.. the home comforts.. He will be frantically backtracking ...

Has he gone yet.

Not come back. I've dumped stuff at his mom's.
Told childcare and work, so coming up with plan until son starts pre school to ensure I don't need to rely on exdp (just in case).
That's all I've managed to do, still reeling a bit and crying and generally being a bit useless

Does he have a key? Do you need to change locks before he returns?

You’ve been so strong. You’re doing well. Even though it must feel awful.