He's cheating. I'm asking him to leave, what do I need

[Pleaseaddcaffine]

Long story short he's cheating, says not but caught him out in a web of lies about a woman. It is what it is and the lying alone is enough if that makes sense but I'm 99%sur eit more.
My house I own outright pre relationship. One joint child, 3 dsc.
Im asking him to leave, he has somewhere to go to namely family. But I'm prepared to give him 28 days to get something sorted.
What do I need now... sort Internet (only thing in his name). What else? Childcare? Cms?
He's going to likely fight me on him leaving but knows its what I want. I desperately wnat to keep things okay and civil for our joint child plus to ensure his relationship with half siblings is okay.

Not married and home is 'pre-relationship' and in your sole name? To my knowledge he has no rights and you can kick him to the kerb.

As far as what you need to do, not in any particular order...

If you have joint banking or assets you need to separate all finances asap and close or get your name off any joint accounts. Redirect any direct debit payments to your 'new' account.

You need to take all your important papers (property deeds, investment papers, tax records, etc) and your joint child's birth certificate, passport, and school & medical records and get them out of the house. Take them to a trusted friend or relative, a bank lockbox, or a secure locked cubby or drawer at work. Same for any sentimental items or items of value.

Change all online passwords even if you think he doesn't know yours.

In essence, you need to 'sanitize' your home of any and all items he could use to either cause you problems or grief with or destroy.

I'd also advise seeing a solicitor, even though you aren't married, to be sure he has no rights to anything AND to educate yourself regarding child maintenance and child access.

Speak to the solicitor also about what to do if he refuses to leave. If they say call the police then make sure your local police will actually do anything to get him out. Be prepared to show them the deeds or other records to prove the house is solely yours.

Sort out dependable childcare for yourself. You most likely won't be able to depend on him.

Do all the above before you give him his marching papers. I wouldn't give him 28 days, I'd just give him until I had all my ducks in a row then I'd tell him to leave and leave now. First off why should you do him any favours? Secondly, it's surprising how many 'nice' men turn nasty when they are dumped, especially when it means the loss of a comfy nest. That's why you don't want him hanging around 'serving out his notice'.

Once he's gone call an emergency locksmith (price first and set money aside) to change the locks or lock barrels. It's not cheap, but the peace of mind is well worth it. Don't trust that he simply returns the keys, you don't know if he's had duplicates made at some time or another. This is especially important if you end up giving him time to find a place to live.

Once your head clears, take him off documents as next of kin, make sure you update your will, any pension and insurance to DC as beneficiaries rather than him.
Take him off car insurance.
I am sure there is a longer list.
Others may have suggestions.
Good luck.💐

Thanks. I'm so hurt n angry and just trying to be fair for our son. Couldn't give two thoughts for him tbh. Knob

Will I can do next week. I have exams (study part time) next week so it's shit timing

Dsc stay here 40%

I'd be packing his stuff up now and have it out by Monday.
He is with the OW all the weekend and you are offering him time to get sorted! Crazy.
He is mugging you off!
Unfortunately, it is up to him how much of a relationship your Dc has with their half siblings.
Honestly, Kick him put Asap!!!!!

Thanks. I know I tend to b free overly fair and kind. It who I try to be but I think the situation may warrnet a harder line reaction

Get the locks changed this weekend so he has to ask to be let in when he comes back

Speaking from experience - do not give him 24 hours! They turn nasty, crafty, manipulative when they have been caught out. His children have a mother to go to, he has a mother to go to. Tell him not to come back, change locks, arrange a day for him to come and collect his and kids stuff. Say it has to be done in one day as you would if moving house, tell him to bring help for heavy lifting

He's at the OW's this weekend?

Fuck him. Text him that he's clearly left you already and his clothes will be in bags outside on (insert day that makes sense).

Everything else he can make arrangements with you to collect within 30 days.

Change the locks.

He will wear you down on 28 days but if you really want to give him 28 days the I suggest you do this .
pack his stuff yourself
Take a day or two off work get a load of boxes and do it yourself .
Then if you don’t want to take it to his parents rent a storage unit for 4 weeks tell him if he doesn’t collect it then tough shit it’s paid for 28 days 😂
It might cost you your time and a couple of hundred quid to rent a storage unit for a month but he’s gone out of your head - and you have given him 28 days as you wanted to
Personally I would dump all if his shit at his new woman’s . Along with the kids stuff as well

If you have a joint account make sure you 'take half now' so he can't clear the lot

He's at the OW's house now? I would have enough stuff for the week outside the house first thing. I'd contact the step children's mother and explain everything to her and tell her she needs to make arrangements with him from now on.

I wouldn't let him back in the house. Everything outside, one day at a time if necessary. There's no need for him to be in your house, the bastard.

Good idea about the storage unit but I'd pay for it for one week and tell him he could have the key or code when he's paid for it.

You need to play hardball now, OP.

What a prize the OW has got.

So sorry you're going through this OP, may it be as clean and fast as possible for you 🙏
I hope you can soon take time to rest and heal and process 🦋

Do the dsc know yet? When were they due to next be there? I know everyone is saying just lock him out but I think your approach to make it amicable as possible is sensible BUT don't be a push over.

I'm so sorry, such a mess and I feel for dsc who have to go through this yet again with their useless father.

Fortunately as I bloody exams next week, knob of timing, there not here until father's day.
Soooo... That gives him time. I am concerned about them though

Harsh as it may sound, his DC are not your responsibility, he’s the one to provide them with a home 40%, so he better get his skates on.
Change the locks, bag up his stuff and tell him it will be outside until Monday or it goes to tip.

Inform mother of DSC that they will NOT be coming to your house 40% anymore. Give her the name and phone number of OW and suggest that she call and make arrangements. That will put a damper on her weekend too.

I am concerned about them though
That's because you're a decent caring person! Do you get on ok with their mum?

OP I really feel for you. You've put up with so much from this arsehole of a man and have given him so many chances - you're well shot of him!
Chuck him out and don't look back

I've been in this situation, (some years back & minus the DCs) & he has absolutely no rights at all. If he won't leave, you can have the police remove him & you don't need to give him any notice at all. I started off soft like you & soon changed my mind & bagged his stuff up & kicked him out.

Just change the locks and bock.

Dsc, not your problem.

Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Block not book

I would be dumping all his stuff tomorrow morning at ow's house. He is taking you for a mug, make sure you have copies of his payslips & bank statements, take his name off everything to do with your home, make sure your current account only has your name on it, same for any credit cards & savings accounts, Monday, ring the council tax office & put a claim in for single person discount, have you got a car? If so take his name off the insurance, that way if he takes it you can ring the police & he will be charged with theft. Get your locks changed ASAP, it may cost you but get a locksmith tomorrow or a friend who can do it for you. Don't let him over the doorstep, you need to stay strong & don't take him back, get a claim in to CMS as well (I'm not sure if you can do it online or not)